Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

June 14, 2009

A Good Mirror is a Wonderful Person to Find

Filed under: Be Super Fantastic — Twistie @ 8:30 am

A good mirror is a girl’s best friend.

I’m not talking about the bathroom mirror, or even the full-length mirror in your bedroom. No, those are both excellent for helping us determine whether our hair needs brushing or the backs of our skirts need unearthing from  the depths of our underpants, but that’s about the limit. Useful, but rarely inspirational.

No, I’m talking about finding a person in your life who is unafraid to tell you the same sorts of truths (Honey, you’d better get that gargantuan spinach leaf off your front tooth before you talk to that important new client), but will also tell you what you can be; what you are capable of.

If you’re lucky, you’ve already got just such a person. It may be a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a lover, a friend, a child or even a pet. I’ve been tremendously lucky in that I’ve had several such mirrors, starting with my mother. These days I’ve got Mr. Twistie, a couple of amazing friends who know who they are, and an astonishingly evil cat named Jake who act as excellent mirrors.

They tell me I’m worthy even if I never decide to scale Everest or invent a car that runs on Peeps. They also tell me that if I were to decide to try anything, they would have my back. They would help me determine just how practical these things might or might not be. Indeed, I think they would all tell me they’d rather run their cars over Peeps than on them. Still, they would back me all the way. I know this is true.

When I lose faith in myself, I can look into their eyes and find strength. When I dash madly down a ridiculous path, I know they’ll help me find my way back to a more reasonable course without ridicule…just a bit of gentle ribbing until I find the funny for myself. When I get too big for my metaphorical britches, they remind that I may be all that, but I’m not all that and then some. They even do it without cruelty, which is something of an art.

They show me my best sides, and most flattering angles. They remind me of what I’ve accomplished and test me to do more. They give me a safe place to work out my anger, my fear, and my demons. They remind me that jealousy and self-doubt look just as rotten on me as pink does.

So what brings out all this reflection (reflection? geddit?) on mirrors today? Probably the fact that yesterday I celebrated my sixteenth wedding anniversary with the best mirror I have ever had.

Mr. Twistie has seen me through quite literally the best and the worst times I have spent on this earth. He’s been my biggest fan and severest (yet, at the same time most compassionate) critic. He’s believed in me when I couldn’t see anything worth believing in. He’s brought me down to earth gently when I started flying off the handle. When he looks at me I know he sees me clearly, sees me whole, and also sees the best things I have the potential to be.

Mr. Twistie, thank you for mirroring me so well all this time. And here’s to as many more decades as possible.

If you have someone in your life like that, thank them today. If you don’t, then honey, seek someone out. After all, every girl needs – and deserves – a good mirror.


  1. Beautiful, Twistie!

    Comment by klee — June 14, 2009 @ 10:22 am

  2. Really lovely. Thank you. And congratulations on your anniversary!

    Comment by Mrs. Hendricks — June 14, 2009 @ 12:35 pm

  3. There’s a beautiful song by Nico called “I’ll Be Your Mirror” that I absolutely love. If I get married someday, I’d love to have this song be part of the ceremony or the vows. Beautiful post Twistie!

    Plumcake adds:
    Technically it’s by myboyfriendLouReed who wrote it FOR Nico. It’s off the 1967 album The Velvet Underground and Nico, which in my not-remotely humble opinion, is one of the great debut albums of all time –ed.

    Comment by Katie K — June 14, 2009 @ 3:38 pm

  4. Congrats to you and Mr. Twistie!

    Comment by Katy — June 15, 2009 @ 1:50 pm

  5. That’s so sweet Twistie! My hubby and I just celebrated our 14th anniversary (plus four pre marriage years). I feel the same way, but could never articulate it as beautifully. Thank you and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

    Comment by Maria — June 15, 2009 @ 8:43 pm

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