Comments on: Wherein Twistie Discusses the Opposite of Weddings

By: raincoaster

raincoaster — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 11:07:23 +0000

I think I’ve seen the topper:

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/06/28/awkward-family-story-funeral-faux-pas/

By: class factotum

class factotum — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:49:04 +0000

LBD, I’m glad to know there are some RCs who know how to dress for church! I saw a teenager here at Saturday night Mass in plaid flannel pants, crocs, and a long t-shirt with a cartoon character on the front. I guess God doesn’t care what people wear, but if you wouldn’t wear it on a job interview or a date, why wear it to church?

By: zuzu

zuzu — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:48:05 +0000

When my father died, it was August, and hot and humid as hell. And I was in school, so I had no money to buy more than the one linen dress I got for the funeral proper. I knew there would be a wake, of course, but I didn’t know, not having been involved in any of the planning stuff, that there would also be meetings with the priest and the funeral director, etc. So I needed not one but a minimum of three seasonally-appropriate outfits for all funeral-related business.

Luckily, my sister and my brother’s girlfriend were also in the same boat, and also the same size. So we just rotated our outfits (including a romper. Sue me, it was 1995, and they were everywhere). Problem solved!

By: La BellaDonna

La BellaDonna — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:45:14 +0000

Class Factotum, I feel confident that I’m shoring up the Roman Catholic end; my wardrobe is as funereal as you could wish.

I don’t know what was going through the mind of one mourner at the funeral of a friend’s mother: the person attending wore bright yellow. And the deceased was not of the “wear bright colours to my funeral!” sisterhood.

By: class factotum

class factotum — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:18:06 +0000

I helped at the church reception for a funeral a couple of weeks ago. I was shocked to see one of the mourners wearing faded, poorly-fitting jeans, ratty tennies, and a green t-shirt layered over a black one. Her two little children — who were running all over the place, although she had the sense to isolate them, were wearing shorts, tank tops and Crocs.

I kept thinking that maybe this lady had nothing more formal in her closet than these clothes, but didn’t she at least have a pair of shoes that weren’t tennies? I am guessing they were not regular churchgoers because as casual as Ev. Lutherans are up here, they are not Crocs at church casual. (My Catholic people, OTOH. Oh my. We need some Southern Protestants to teach us how to Dress Appropriately.)

(The Synod Lutherans, I would expect, would not even have jeans in church.)

By: Jenny

Jenny — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:45:55 +0000

Agreed. I’ve been to some denominational funerals where black is not the norm, but a more modest style of dress certainly is. I’ve worn the same quarter sleeved black sweater to all attended funerals in the past few years (unfortunately there have been many), but I didn’t always wear black on the bottom. For one summer funeral I wore the above mentioned shirt + a just-past-the-knee linen skirt and sensible shoes. I know that this outfit probably sounds surprisingly casual or unmatched to some, but I was 18 at the time. Others my age were there in black dresses or skirts so short they couldn’t cross their legs properly in the pew and they tottered in stilletto heels in the dirt at the cemetery.

I think the most important thing at a funeral is to dress sensibly – for the most part, this means black or another darker colour (or it does to me, at least). I remember one older woman in a slate grey dress suit that was entirely respectable. But I think that if it comes down to wearing an all black ensemble vs. a partially black but more toned-down ensemble, I would go for the latter.

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By: Cat

Cat — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:36:36 +0000

At my uncle’s funeral about three years ago, I was shocked to see a girl of about 18 wearing a tight, black spaghetti-strap top, bright pink gaucho pants, and black hooker-heeled stilettos. W.T.F?

By: Plumcake

Plumcake — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:36:29 +0000

Oh no you did not just scoop me. I had a post pretty much about this going up later this week. Don’t you look at the drafts queue?! That’s it short woman. It’s ON. It is a great book though. I knew Gayden’s people for ages before I moved to Texas. And of course you forgot the moral of the story:

Episcopalians win.

By: Mrs. Hendricks

Mrs. Hendricks — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:27:54 +0000

How timely! I just attended the funeral of the father of a good friend of mine, and was surprised to see as many people as I did dressed inappropriately. I know, I know, the “casual and comfortable” mantra has superceded all else here in America, but what was most amazing was the number of full-grown adults in capri pants, polo shirts and shorts. Yikes!

Twistie’s right, folks: be prepared. It doesn’t have to be fancy: on the contrary. Something plain Jane in navy, black, grey (even brown) to be put on at the most unexpected time. It’s just one last thing you’ll have to worry about.