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The Monday Hotness: Search and Destroy Edition | Manolo for the Big Girl

The Monday Hotness: Search and Destroy Edition

Okay I’m just going to say it because I know we’re all thinking it and I don’t need one of my pain in the ass pedants much-beloved readers pointing it out to me in the comments. Yes, Henry Rollins does look like a consternated otter. And don’t try telling me there’s no such word as consternated because a) language is fluid and b) there totally is because I looked it up in the OED and it’s there with earliest usage dating from 1667 SO THERE.

uh. whew. Hi. I’m, it’s been a tough day already, so uh, yeah. Disregard.

So today’s Monday Hotness –incidentally the last Monday Hotness of my 20’s as I turn 30 tomorrow to the delight of medspas everywhere– is mysecretboyfriend Henry Rollins, a man I’ve loved since I was in 6th grade. Except he does kinda look like an otter. a HOT otter. Oh a Hotter! Wait, that’s already a word. Darn you, failed portmanteau! Why do you have to already be a word that means something else?!

Super Rollins
“The blues is losing someone you love and not having enough money to immerse yourself in drink.”

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“The only difference between me and others is that they think they can change something with cute little poems, nice cards or embracing trees and being nice to little lapdogs.”

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“As long as I tell the truth I feel that nobody can touch me.”

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“My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.”

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“Don’t do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.”

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“I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone. “

18 Responses to “The Monday Hotness: Search and Destroy Edition”

  1. Jen Hughes July 13, 2009 at 3:43 pm #

    YES!

    I totally can’t stop giggling at “consternated otter.”

  2. Barthway July 13, 2009 at 4:14 pm #

    Ew, he’s gross.

  3. Siege July 13, 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    Plumcake, I simply CANNOT thank you enough.

    I saw him do spoken word live a couple years ago, and it was everything I hoped it would be, though I will admit he is much shorter than I would have guessed.

  4. KellyGirl July 13, 2009 at 5:10 pm #

    Ah, Mr. Rollins. He is one of the handful of gentlemen I use to remind myself that not all men my own age are lame and boring.

  5. Magnolia July 13, 2009 at 6:44 pm #

    God I love that man i go to his spoken word every time he comes to town

  6. Juliet July 13, 2009 at 8:10 pm #

    I had the pleasure of hanging out with him years back after one of his shows. He was just the single coolest man I’d ever met. Had no interest in me, dammit. But swoon…oh Henry!

  7. Karla July 13, 2009 at 8:44 pm #

    Oh, how I love some Rollins. The man must get around, if he’s both our secret boyfriends!

  8. raincoaster July 13, 2009 at 9:25 pm #

    Mine too! His Letter to Ann Coulter is screamingly funny, and the man is both seductively literate and just a dead hot hunk of meat.

  9. g-dog July 13, 2009 at 9:27 pm #

    I LOVE the Henry! The angst, the reality, the intensity – mmmm. And smart. And buff. And tats! Mentally, emotionally, & physically daunting – I love it.
    No botox for this bad boy – he is totally owning his furrowed brow.

  10. Frances July 13, 2009 at 11:51 pm #

    I LOVE HENRY ROLLINS.

    I go see him everytime his spoken word tour is in town. I love him. I love his politics and his passion and how he holds the microphone like a coiled spring. A Henry Rollins spoken word show is great if I feel two things:
    1) I want to sex him until he breaks
    2) I want to save the world.

    Fuck and fight. That’s how Henry Rollins makes me feel. SWOON!

  11. megaera July 14, 2009 at 5:06 am #

    Yeah, I wanna say that I love him for his unexpected erudition and his artistry and whatnot…but the truth is whenever I see him I just want to bang him until my bed breaks, then roll onto other surfaces, continuing until one or both of us loses consciousness. Also I now have the refrain, “There’s nothin’ hotter than a consternated otter” stuck in my head, thanks, Plumcake, and as Becky the scullery maid, wrote to the little princess “Menny hapy returns.”

  12. chachaheels July 14, 2009 at 9:12 am #

    Ah, Plumcake! Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!

    I wish I were ten years younger and your best friend, but then we’d constantly be fighting over boyfriends (well, except for the Archbishop, he’s all yours).

    Still, today needed something–and when I saw Super Rollins gracing the page in his primary coloured underoos and hornrims I knew you’d figured out exactly what that missing thing was.

    Spoken word, books with titles like “Pissing In The Gene Pool”, and his entire opinion piece (including self-mockery) about U2, given sometime around the mid nineties…he’s an incredibly smart and original man. Thanks for showcasing him here.

  13. ChloeMireille July 14, 2009 at 10:12 am #

    Dear God, I loved that man ever since I saw the video for “Liar” when I was in Junior High. There’s just too many things to love about him: handsome, buff, intelligent, witty, worldly….the list goes on and on.

    I will be having some lovely dreams about that Superman picture tonight.

  14. Sarah July 14, 2009 at 10:21 am #

    Plumcake,

    My boyfriend and friend met Henry Rollins when they went to one of his shows back in high school. Rollins took the time to talk at length to these two ruddy-cheeked chickadees, who were subsequently even more infatuated with him. It didn’t hurt that my boyfriend looks very much like him. That’s what hooked me, actually. That, and his nice ass. Anywho. I have my own consternated otter.

  15. B.S.A.G. July 15, 2009 at 3:22 am #

    I’ve been saying for about 20 years now that I’d like to see Henry Rollins as President.

    Or at least president of my pants.

  16. SassMcAss July 17, 2009 at 2:38 am #

    For sure. I love his intensity in the way he talks.

    And his big, thick neck.

  17. Thalia July 17, 2009 at 3:37 pm #

    Good lord, that man is smokin’ in a button-down shirt.

  18. La Petite Acadienne December 4, 2009 at 10:51 am #

    He’s coming to Halifax in March, and we’re getting tickets! Woo-hoo!!!!! Ladies, shall I grope him for you?