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The Big Question: #%$^ Edition | Manolo for the Big Girl

The Big Question: #%$^ Edition

Anybody familiar with the brilliant British sitcom Coupling will know instantly what I mean when I say “the giggle loop” for those of you who don’t know, watch this. Done? Good.

I have something like a “swear loop” wherein I accidentally swear at the worst possible time. So in an effort to stop getting kicked out of baptisms I’ve trained myself to replace traditional profanities (which I know and love) with other, amusing but equally satisfying words. Currently “pants” “divot” and “aubergine”  are getting a lot of play around Château Gâteau.

Today Miss Plumcake wants to know:

What is your favorite ONE WORD (meaning ONE. WORD.) fauxfanity?

the well-dressed eggplant

59 Responses to “The Big Question: #%$^ Edition”

  1. Madame Suggia August 13, 2009 at 12:33 pm #

    Personally, I’ve found that I can get away with almost any bad bad language…as long as it’s in French/Arabic/Hebrew…my late Father took great delight in teaching me many many bad phrases he’d picked up in the British Army. And I guarantee that the vilest words and/or phases become positively musical with the correct ‘Francais’ accent.

  2. jojokaffe August 13, 2009 at 12:48 pm #

    Sugar is my personal, especially in the midst of an epicurean incident.

    And don’t forget the Bugs Bunny classic ‘Maroon’,
    as in ‘What a maroon?’

  3. Katie August 13, 2009 at 12:49 pm #

    Cheeseburgers.

  4. gemdiva August 13, 2009 at 2:00 pm #

    When my son was little and had just started picking up “naughty” words, I asked him to make up a word to replace the socially unacceptable ones and told him he could use that made up word as much as he wanted. He came up with doughwhacky as in “he is such a doughwhacky!” We still say it to this day, although his colorful vocabulary has expanded a bit since then; and I fully expect to hear one of my grandchildren say it one day.

  5. Plumcake August 13, 2009 at 6:12 pm #

    Marble: Balls is an excellent one, I often employ it myself.

    Karen: I grew up around “bloody hell” but “f-ing Hell” has always tripped more melodically off my tongue. Never thought to try a Cockney accent.

    Gina: “biscuits” for me is a cute straight boy. “Triscuits” are gay guys, and a guy who is not yet out is “a Triscuit in the biscuit basket”.

    Mini-Pixie: Communism! That’s excellent. I totally plan on yelling that, although in my social circle that’s probably akin to yelling “fire!” in a crowded theater.

  6. Plumcake August 13, 2009 at 6:19 pm #

    Rubiatonta: “Fricatives!” Great! One of my vocal warm ups is saying the words “fricatives and plosives”

    Christine: “Agamemnon” is my favorite yet!

    Jojokaffe: I use maroon regularly. Actually I used it in the comments just last week!

    Snuggia: You’re absolutely right about any string of filth sounding good in French. When andre and I first started dating I didn’t let on that I had quite a bit of skill with foreign tongues (as it were) and one evening as things were getting a bit hot and heavy he slipped back into French and proceeded to outline in GREAT detail what he thought our plans for the night included. The way he finally learned I spoke French was when after about five minutes of detailed plans I had to announce “YOU MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT!!!”

  7. ChristianeF August 13, 2009 at 7:33 pm #

    If I’m allowed a phrase it usually involves some combination of “muncher,” “butt,” and “pirate.” (I know, charming.)

    However, I find great satisfaction in sitting at my desk and muttering “Razzafrazzafrickin-ARGH!!” I think that counts as one word. :o)

  8. Peaches August 13, 2009 at 10:14 pm #

    Needed a good one tonight when my mom asked about my exercising. Will I had visions of a boot going into a cavity …my word was DAD RATS. No idea the origin.

  9. Jane August 15, 2009 at 11:17 am #

    My momma used to get a good bit of mileage out of “crucifixion!” but it probably won’t help you at baptisms. “Firetruck” was my friend Tom’s substitute for a similar one-syllable word during his children’s impressionable years.