They said it couldn’t be done, at least not in our lifetime, but I have managed to find an attractive mid-heel shoe that’s sexy, timeless and actually interesting.

The “Jette” from DaniBlack. I’m particularly enamored of the coral –a color I think we’ll see popping up more and more in the coming seasons thanks to Mad Men’s seemingly unending popularity– and the aqua.

These are exactly the sort of shoes –the coral and the blue especially– I’d qualify as a sound investment: classic classic classic, but not boring and not so deadly expensive you’d be afraid to wear them twice a week. On (modest) sale at Endless.com. Half sizes up to 11.

I decided to go grocery shopping at 2:00 in the morning last night (huh?). This in and of itself is not extremely strange as I prefer to get my groceries when the risk of running into children is low, lest we have an an unfortunate recurrence of that time those kids played tag using me as a base and I’m forced out of civic duty to drown them for the betterment of all mankind.

Plus I almost always run into a door guy or bartender I know, standing in  line to purchase his single roll of toilet paper,  some grapes and three pounds of string cheese. It’s good times and not at all unusual. It is unusual, however, for me to go grocery shopping at 2:00 a.m. after I’d lost a good deal of blood.

Yesterday, for various reasons that don’t bear repeating, my veins were temporarily turned into the Bellagio fountains which resulted in a less-than-ideal quantity of my own supply of vampire juice escaping its bodily confines.

I was fine and after I got stopped or staunched or whatever they call it I went home happy as a lark and took what can only be described as the most bitchin’ six-hour nap in the history of six-hour naps. It was a nap for the ages.

I woke around 1:30 and after playing two woefully inept games of mah jongg against myself decided I really needed some Mexican food, but the only place that was open was La Mexicana Bakery and they haven’t liked me since that time I Was Not At My Best and thought I was ordering in Spanish –which I actually speak quite beautifully– but ended up ordering in French and then when they didn’t understand I just ordered in French LOUDER.

Anyhoodle, going grocery shopping after losing a lot of blood is not something I’d recommend and my haul, upon opening my refrigerator this morning, was what I’d charitably call “eccentric”. There’s some sort of squash or possibly melon I’ve never seen before, an inordinate quantity of broccoli crowns, six pounds of baby carrots, three boxes of Triscuits one of which I apparently opened in the car and two gallons –yes gallons– of plain yogurt, my plans for which I can only imagine since it definitely did not involve consuming the stuff.

Today Miss Plumcake wants to know:

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever bought without recollecting, and what is your favorite late-night grocery story?  More importantly, what on EARTH am I going to do with all this yogurt?

Now I’m not a big Tim Burton fan –I prefer a little substance with my style thankyouverymuch– but I know some of you are, and BECAUSE I’M A GIVER I thought I’d pass along these patchwork t-straps from Goffredo Fantini.

These are 85% off and available up to a size 11. Anytime you can get beautifully made $300 Italian shoes for $50 and some change? That’s not a nightmare to me.

edit: well Amazon jacked the price up again. They’re still 50% off, but it ain’t the same, Mame.

This week, Francesca urges you to:

1- Do a breast self exam. Here is how.

2- Replace your toothbrush

3- Rotate your mattress. Here is how.

 Do you know what I love? Sequins.

I ESPECIALLY love sequins when –like these Pour la Victoire “Fabienne” flats– they’re 85% off and under $40.

What’s great about these is they let you take a pair of dark rinse jeans and a boring top and automatically they jazz up the outfit. It’s just easy, effortless. Take the jeans and shirt you wore to work, slip on these splarkies, a pair of earrings and some lip gloss and you’re ready for an after-work date or –even better– a glass of wine with your girlfriend discussing the LAST after-work date and how everything was going fine until you found out he was a mass-murderer/drowns kittens for fun/lives with his mother.

Oh you guys, I have just been so tickled by the response I’ve gotten for the DIY Monday Hotness. All I can say is that y’all are some twitterpated broads and I love that about you.

The response has been SO great that I’m dedicating the rest of the Mondays in August to reader submitted Monday Hotnesses, so if you missed the deadline or your fella didn’t make it this time there’s still hope.

On with the hotness!

Alex here made my short list right off the bat because he has all the hallmarks of a  guy I’d like to know. I love the hidden little smirk, the evidence of geekery and potential music snobbery and the faraway look in his eyes that says either “SPOON!” or “I could probably fix that with duct tape.” Joy, tell him he gets extra points for the Manly and Intrepid Pose.

How cute is Eric? Answer: So. Freaking. Cute. and sort of like he should be on The West Wing. He’s another one that made the short list super-fast because he looks like Jack Lemmon and I’ve loved Jack Lemmon since I was six. PLUS apparently he’s some fancypants playwright and went to one of the few Yankee schools I deem acceptable, meaning he’s aces in my book (don’t worry Eric, not everyone can go to Vanderbilt). Carrie, can he be my pretend boyfriend when I’m kicking it Calistyle? I’ll take that restraining order as a “yes”.

The Stonecutter here almost didn’t make the cut. Not because he’s anything less than a total biscuit, but because my father –who was also a submission thanks to his crazy child bride figuring out the parental controls on the computer– is a gemstone cutter and I was grossed out by association. HOWEVER, Mr Cutter here looks nothing like my father and may in fact earn extra credit points for being a ginger or at least having ginger leanings. I think I’m going to need some color shots Krista!

Leher here is the subject of my favorite email because it was short, sweet and involved the phrase “dirty bird”. From the looks of this photo, Denise, you ain’t never told a lie.  I also appreciate the amount of cuff he’s showing. Just because you’re dirty doesn’t mean you can’t be dapper.

Finally there’s Kerry.  I spent a good ten minutes going back and forth on this one because I wasn’t completely sure I didn’t know him since he lives in Texas and looks like pretty much every guy I hung out with from 2001-2007. So then I had to think, if I did know him did we date, and if we did date was he the guy from the Night of a Thousand Questionable Choices that happened –coincidentally– a mere 24 hours after the events described in today’s Daily Kick. I don’t really remember much from that night other than two former producers from the L.A. punk scene who stopped me from buying a 1962 Cadillac sight unseen and then things happened and eventually there were bagels. I’m fairly confident he’s not, which is why I’m giving him the highly-coveted Plumcake Pick, bestowed this week upon the guy I’d be most likely to stay up ’til 3 in the morning on a Tuesday, drinking Lonestar in an apartment above a tattoo parlor, discussing Wanda Jackson, Cadillacs, the relative suckiness of everything in Vegas except the Doubledown Saloon  and whether Songs The Lord Taught Us or Big Beat from Badsville is the superior Cramps album. Well, Leigh? Which one is it?

So that’s all for this week, next week there will be more  homegrown Monday Hotness so keep your emails coming. Oh, and because I promised Twistie, here’s a photo of my on-again off-again Gallic goofball.  You’re just lucky it’s not the Speedo.

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Follow her @FrancescaShops. (Did I do that correctly?)