When did I stop loving Halloween? It’s a holiday all about candy and dressing up. I love candy! I love dressing up! Well really I don’t love candy anymore, but I like GETTING candy and then feeling all virtuous when I give it away (except Reese’s. I’ll cut you over some Reese’s) and I lo-ove hauling out my one good Halloween story, which involves a former Speaker of The House handing out pounds of pennies in white hankies made up to look like ghosts.
I think my problem with Halloween is the costume thing. First you have the lazy costumes, that’s when people wear scrubs or their pj’s. Those bug me only because I don’t like laziness. Then there are the really intricate Renaissance costumes which only bother me about as much as they normally bother me (which is to say a lot, but not enough to do anything but make fun of them on the internet, the way the Lord intended) and the Secretly This Is My Fetish But I’m Going To Pretend It’s a Regular Costume Because You’re Too Square To Recognize It, which make me INSANE because if you are 36 year old woman with that many Japanese School Girl costumes THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR LIFE AND I DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
Then there are the Naughty Costumes which are so problematic both as a feminist and as someone who doesn’t feel compelled to wait until the last day of October to express my sexuality that I can’t even write about it for fear of the vein in my forehead bursting.
So, today Miss Plumcake wants to know:
What are YOU being for Halloween?