Francesca loves the Dear Abby, who recently fielded this question (warning: Mother-related Triggers ahead):
: I’m 32 and a “large girl.” I am also intelligent, witty and fun to be around. I make friends wherever I go. The problem is my mother — who is also big — keeps telling me that heavy women are not desirable and we must “settle” when it comes to choosing a mate.
My mother has had two long, unhappy marriages. She’s always saying I think too highly of myself and my standards for men are out of my reach.
Abby, I would rather remain single than marry someone I’m not happy with just to have a man. I’m not looking for a movie star; I just want to find someone I’m attracted to and who has the same values and ideals that I have.
Is Mother right? Am I setting my sights too high? — HAPPY BEING ME IN MASSACHUSETTS
Francesca, of course, answers: Keep looking for someone who makes you really happy, and if that never happens, then meanwhile be happy being with yourself. The mother’s self-loathing attitude of “fat people do not deserve to be happy” is poppycock, and anyway is based on the old-fashioned assumption that being married is necessary, that it is better to be married than to be happy. Poppycock, says the single Francesca once again.
What say you, dear readers? And just how badly do you wish to smack this mother into her senses, on a scale of 1-10?
*Image by FatGirlArt.com