Comments on: In Praise of a Solo Thanksgiving

By: La Petite Acadienne

La Petite Acadienne — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:44:25 +0000

I also dream of a solo Thanksgiving sometimes (not really solo, but just me, the husband, and the wee one.) No major drama or abuse in our family, but my mother and my sister always know precisely how to push each others’ buttons. Add wine, stir, and you inevitably wind up with a tearful argument, or at the very best, just that lovely little feeling of tension in the air.

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:57:30 +0000

If I were to have Thanksgiving on my own, it would involve the death of a parent I love quite a lot, so I will go along with all the tradition for his sake. But when the inevitable occurs (and may it be many years away), I have this secret vision of booking a trip to the Caribbean for Thanksgiving. BY MYSELF.

By: zuzu

zuzu — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:05:43 +0000

I’m also a solo Thanksgiving girl. It’s become a weird holiday for me anyhow (my mom died the day before Thanksgiving seven years ago), and it’s not like it was a festival of joy before that. Growing up, my dad would invariably get drunk and start pissing on everyone, then there were the few happy years after he died and when we would go to my grandma’s place. But after Grandma died, my brother no longer felt the need to be on his best behavior and essentially started taking after my father and being verbally and emotionally abusive. My mom felt no need to check him, which soured the last few holidays I had with her, and because I was relying on public transportation to get home, I was trapped until the next bus came. He also had the gall to get bent out of shape when I refused to go to my mother’s place for Christmas after an especially abusive Thanksgiving, when his fiancee joined in as well. The only time he left me alone was Thanksgiving 2001, when I was crazy-eyed after 9/11 (I live in NYC and worked downtown at the time; downtown was still on lockdown at the time).

I had a few Thanksgivings with friends or their families after Mom died, but inevitably, I had to be witness to someone else’s family dramas. So I decided a few years ago that I would cook myself a big spread and set the table and have my own Thanksgiving feast. It’s worked out great, but I’m thinking I need to follow mary martha’s lead and start volunteering.

By: theDiva

theDiva — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:49:41 +0000

God love ya, Plummy. Happy birthday to your Grampy, may he RIP, and have a marvelous Thanksgiving.

By: Evie

Evie — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:56:49 +0000

Debs, I’m with you! My family is generally lovely as far as holiday celebrations go, but unfortunately we’re currently living closer to my in-laws, who are meddling and passive aggressive in the extreme. Um, no thanks, I’d rather not spend my second favorite holiday with that kind of negative energy…

Instead, we plan on cracking the first bottle of wine at noon, and having our own little two person drinking and cooking party for the rest of the day!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 07:28:12 +0000

Would there be something wrong with one with spending Thanksgiving with one’s shoes? Oh! I see! One’s handbags might feel neglected. That would never do… ;)

I did stop by Yoox. I found purple flats for $29. My life is worth living again.

I envy gemdiva her family. That’s the family I always wanted.

By: megaera

megaera — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 07:19:44 +0000

I love my family, and I’ve always loved Thanksgiving with mine. True to Texas, I recall going off to target shoot after a huge meal (which my sister mentioned once in California to blank stares, except for the girl from Louisiana who went, “You, too?”) No one comments on portions, everyone stuffs themselves silly, and only vegetables in the “au gratin” family are allowed. Much joy is had by all. That being said, your Thanksgiving sounds wonderful as well, although I honestly thought you’d spend Thanksgiving in your shoe closet, wearing each pair and giving thanks for the day you bought them.

By: gemdiva

gemdiva — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:53:55 +0000

I totally agree with you Plumcake. We should do what makes us happy and never expose ourselves to practitioners of the buzz kill. I happen to come from a rowdy, hilariously funny family that has always enjoyed each other’s company tremendously. We believe in a day of feasting (being Italian this often means lasagna or manicotti followed by a full turkey dinner) followed by multiple courses of desert. Wine and merriment rule the day. So, I have always spent Thanksgiving the way I love to…..in the company of some of the wittiest afficionados of fun, food and conversation I know. And if you think that sounds like a good time, you should see us at Christmas :-)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and may all your Manhattans be perfect!

By: jen209

jen209 — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:20:02 +0000

You have made me very thankful for my non-judgmental family, and I can’t say we’ve ever had a holiday that I’ve hated. However, Thanksgiving was never a huge deal for us, and ever since my brother and I went far, far away in different directions for college, it has been even less of a deal. We just wrap the Thanksgiving meal into Christmas now.

Consequently, I spend Thanksgiving differently every year – usually with whoever will take me in. This year I am very excited that, after a long, stressful November, I will be attending a Thanksgiving dinner that will literally not require me to put on shoes – ie at our neighbor’s apartment. It will be low-key and casual, which is just what I want. And then on Friday, I’m jetting off to NYC for a quick, last minute trip to see a museum exhibit before it closes and do some shopping. Plumcake, your next post should be “In Praise of Solo Traveling” – not saying I always want to travel solo, but I find it quite enjoyable when I do go alone.

By: La Petite Acadienne

La Petite Acadienne — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:47:57 +0000

Mmm….sailors.