Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

November 30, 2009

Monday Hotness: Ugly From The Front Edition

Filed under: The Monday Hotness — Miss Plumcake @ 6:04 pm

Y’all.  Oh. I..I am SO tired.

I don’t exactly know why –other than I don’t ever sleep and I don’t ever stop working and I maybe kind-of was SO tired that I SLEEP-SHOPPED yet another three scarves, a gold-plated snaffle bit PLUS a pair of riding boots (p.s., y’all knew that proper equestrian boots often come in wide calves up to 19″ right?) and God knows WHAT else although I seem to think I might have ordered a half-dozen pair of velvet riding trousers (time will tell whether they are all the SAME trouser or variations upon a theme) because apparently

OMG. What if I bought a horse? You can’t buy horses on the internet, right?  My credit card company would definitely call me if I tried to buy a horse on the internet.

It’s just like that time I got dumped by the One Man I’ll Ever Really Love Who Ended Up Marrying a German Amnesiac BUT I’M FINE WITH THAT NOW and I was so distressed that this lovely and legendary LA punk rock producer had to physically take away my check book because I was about to buy a 1965 Cadillac sight unseen from a guy at a club.


Anyway, I’m not at my best today and I feel that I am very close to Telling People Things They Need To Know About Themselves which, while entertaining, would probably get me fired from this and all other jobs and that –let’s face it– would be a bit problematic in re: paying for the three damn Hermès (Hermèses?) I just bought, so I’m just going to soothe myself with a little Lyle Lovett action.

As you might recall from last week, my lovely and delightful friends Randall and Donya Stockton –owners of many successful clubs you’re not allowed to go to because then I won’t be able to get a table and there are few things I find LESS endurable than not getting a table and it’s problematic enough what with them winning all these stupid awards— treated me to a Lyle Lovett concert at Bass Concert Hall on the University of Texas campus.

I do not like the University of Texas campus.

It’s big and scary and full of girls who don’t understand that if it’s warm enough to wear fleece booty shorts IT’S NOT COLD ENOUGH FOR FUR BOOTS.

Let me put it this way: the last person I saw at Bass Concert Hall was Victor Borge. Yeah.

SO, it takes more than a pretty face to get me onto that campus.

Lyle Lovett

See? I think he’s totally cute. I mean sure, technically he looks a bit like a deflated eggplant that’s well past the first blush of youth, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a hotness.

I remember being in middle school and people being scandalized that Julia Roberts had married some goofy-haired country singer and I just didn’t get
I can see why she liked HIM but what’s the intrigue with America’s Sweetheart?

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I decided when I was going to start dating Texans that Lyle Lovett was the sort of Texan I was going to date.

That was of course before I realized he was an Aggie. Not that I really object to Aggies and they look awfully cute in their boots (p.s. there’s a bit of hotness to be found there, too.) but I just canNOT spend the rest of my natural life in maroon.


and besides, how could you NOT love a man who knows the importance of good haberdashery?

lyle lovett, with hats courtesy of

After all, as Mr Lovett is famous for saying, “You can have my girl, but don’t touch my hat.”


  1. Oooh, snap, Plumcake, you got me just as I was sidling up to the John Lewis website. What? I need some way to express my inner torment, and cashmere is by far the cuddliest.

    Lyle…what can I say? My friend Liz swears that she would leave Mr. Liz in a heartbeat for Lyle Lovett in a chef’s hat.

    Comment by Margo — November 30, 2009 @ 6:28 pm

  2. I’m not big on Lyle, but he looks fab in that suit.

    Comment by Lisa — November 30, 2009 @ 8:15 pm

  3. Oh, Plummie, you break my heart. I absolutely love the UT campus! It’s one of my favorite places to be. I find it soothing. Of course, I went to college there and have a lot of great memories of hanging out with my now dearly departed brother on that campus, but I’ve always had a huge fondness for it.

    Comment by Cat — November 30, 2009 @ 8:29 pm

  4. Excuse me but can someone point me to the website where I can order those adorable Aggie boys in their boots. I’ll take 2, one blond and one brunette….I look quite good in Maroon. ;)

    Comment by Jeni — November 30, 2009 @ 8:32 pm

  5. I mean sure, technically he looks a bit like a deflated eggplant that’s well past the first blush of youth

    Hee! I’m totally stealing that description. And putting Joshua, Judges, Ruth on the stereo. It’s been too long since I listen to that album!

    Comment by zanthine — November 30, 2009 @ 8:32 pm

  6. BTW, if you bought a horse, can I have it? Or, alternatively, I’ll take the scarves since you won’t have any room for them with the horse.

    Comment by Lisa — November 30, 2009 @ 9:47 pm

  7. I’ve been madly in love with Mr. Lovett for a thousand moons. He’s just so damn beautiful. And he likes cream in his coffee and his eggs over easy… le sigh…

    Comment by Melissa — November 30, 2009 @ 10:05 pm

  8. I remember seeing this guy named Lyle Lovett, who I’d never heard of, in 1987 because my friend Todd said, “He has this really wild hair.” We heard him sing, without irony, “Stand By Your Man,” and it was all over but the shouting. No one wears a double breasted suit better than that man, and his voice makes me lonely for Texas every time I hear it.

    Comment by Mrs. Hendricks — December 1, 2009 @ 1:16 am

  9. I’m sorry to tell you, but you CAN in fact buy horses over the internet. Not from any of our affiliates, though. I’ll get on that.

    Comment by raincoaster — December 1, 2009 @ 3:09 am

  10. I am sure you didn’t buy a horse on the internet. Besides if you did I am sure you’d have gotten an email confirmation on it and could have canceled by now.

    Comment by AmazonAngelle — December 1, 2009 @ 3:20 am

  11. I kinda like Lyle Lovett’s looks. He’s just such a brilliant guy it makes him gorgeous on the outside, too.

    But now that I know about Aggies and their boots and jodhpurs, I am wondering why the heck I didn’t choose to go to that school. University with such incredibly well dressed (like grownups!) eye candy–it’s a foreign concept up here in Canada.

    Comment by chachaheels — December 1, 2009 @ 9:32 am

  12. I want to be a fly on the wall when the horse is delivered!

    I don’t get the fuss about UT and Aggies. Go Terps!

    I always thought it was kind of cool that Julia and Lyle got together. She didn’t go for an obvious pretty boy. I always appreciated the fact that her personal life is not constantly all over the media.

    Comment by dcsurfergirl — December 1, 2009 @ 9:49 am

  13. It’s a pity you didn’t get the horse — you could ride him on your boat! :)

    I wish you would have arranged an Austin meetup for his concert (or paid attention to his schedule — I shouldn’t put it all on you). I’ve never seen him play in Austin, and that seems like something I should experience. I loves me some Lyle!

    Comment by ecirun — December 1, 2009 @ 11:58 am

  14. Oh Lyle. I have always found you so intriguingly handsome. <3

    Comment by De — December 1, 2009 @ 12:34 pm

  15. The only joke I remember from my 1 1/2 years living in Dallas:

    How do you get a one-armed Aggie out of a tree?

    Wave to him

    Comment by klee — December 1, 2009 @ 12:35 pm

  16. That was EXACTLY what I thought when I heard that he had married Ms. Roberts. I could understand what she saw in him, but couldn’t for the life of me see what he saw in her. Glad to know I wasn’t alone in that.

    Comment by Geogrrl — December 1, 2009 @ 3:17 pm

  17. Plumcake, if you bought a pony, you’ll need a boat to go with it.

    I’m a Pacific Northwesterner, so I don’t know what an Aggie is. But I don’t want to date Lyle, anyway. I just want him to keep writing and singing songs. And to keep doing outdoor concerts in Seattle every year so I can sit in the grass out under the stars with a bottle of wine while he sings “If You Were To Wake Up.”

    Comment by Casey — December 1, 2009 @ 4:32 pm

  18. I want to sleep-shop! The only thing I do in my sleep is snore. BORING!

    If I could claim sleep-shopping, I could get away with all kinds of fun things. Like fancy shoes! Cashmere sweaters! Lovely trousers… *sigh*

    Comment by ChristianeF — December 1, 2009 @ 8:46 pm

  19. Hahaha! That is so funny!!! I’ve never heard anyone describe someone as a “deflated eggplant that’s well past the first blush of youth”. Uber funny.

    Oh, and yeah! I hate doing things when I’m half-asleep. Can’t seem to remember the events the next day. Don’t want to get in trouble…. =p


    Comment by All Women Stalker — December 2, 2009 @ 11:06 am

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