Today is Brother Plumcake’s birthday.

Brother Plumcake is my favorite living person, despite his stupid goatee, but we do not share a common sartorial view. For example, at the anniversary gala of our beloved grandparents –where I wore a custom designed dress and Michael Kors heels made out of unglazed python with gold leaf on the soles– my brother wore what could only be described as a gangster pinstriped suit complete with VINYL FAUX-SPATS and a bifurcated goatee.  In the parlance of my people “I liketa died”.

Today’s GSU50 is an homage to my brother, who would probably wear these.

Graffiti-print hi-tops from Cheap Monday on sale for $29. Heck, I’d probably wear them too. In fact, I’m going to order a pair right now. Wear these with jeans and a chunky cashmere pullover and you’ve got a whole Jules et Jim 2.0 thing going on.

Love.

BEAUTY.COM (also known as drugstore.com, its partner site) is giving away many freebies this week, which Francesca thought you might enjoy. Just click here and have fun!

*Through tomorrow or while supplies last, get a free cream by Nexcare ($15.99 value) when you spend $25 or more on products by Nexcare, Buf-Puf, or Titrilac.

*Receive a free lash primer ($19.50 value) with any It Cosmetics purchase, while supplies last. Francesca says: if you have short/thin lashes, primer will help them look longer and thicker when you apply mascara.

*If you buy $25 or more of Foot Petals (cushions to place inside your shoes, available in different shapes and sizes), you will receive a free “Peek-A-Shoe” pouch ($10 value) for storing your shoes. Francesca does not know when this expires.

*Through January 5 or when supplies run out, get free travel-size samples of skin cream, hair relaxing balm, and shampoo-for-blow-drying, all by PHYTO, with any purchase.

* Get 20% off whenever you buy three or more “emergency preparedness products” (first aid kits, thermometers, etc.), until January 7.

* Always click on the “Free Samples” and “Gifts with Purchase” links on their home page when you shop.

On this post-Christmas Monday, Francesca wants to know:

1- So, WHAT DID YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS?!? Dish.

2- What was the best gift you GAVE for Christmas?

3- How was your holiday? (Be frank. We are friends here.)

Everyone should have a pair of neutral, solid-heeled day shoes in their personal collection. In fact, I keep a pair in my car at all times.

A good thing too, as I had a wardrobe malfunction on Christmas eve and had to switch from my redonkulous Brian Atwoods:

to a pair much more like these:

Are they exciting when compared to a pair of $900 fuchsia silk shoes bejeweled with hand-faceted crystals? Not, really, no, but they’re dead handy to have around and rate a lot higher in the utility department. They’re statement-y enough –it’s the slight banana heel that does it– to wear with boyfriend jeans for that louche Parisienne look, but they’re also classic enough to wear with pretty much every day dress in your closet.

Originally $228, limited sizes are available at YOOX for $49

Hey Everyone, it’s time for the final Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness of 2009! You know how this works. I post a picture with loads of potential for captioning. You provide said captions via the comments function. next week, I’ll declare a winner and we will all boogie with joy for the victor.

This image comes to you from  the Down and Dirty file and looks a little like this:

Ready…set…snark!

…and all through my house

The only creature stirring

Is my cat chasing a new catnip mouse.

It’s been a good time this year. While we weren’t precisely drowning in luxury items, we had enough to go around and enough left over to spread a bit of cheer to others. In the days to come, we will enjoy the leftover food and the thoughtful gifts…and probably chuckle a little bit at the ones that mystify us. We’ll snuggle close and appreciate the time Mr. Twistie has off from work and the fact that my writing career allows me to be flexible in my scheduling. The aforementioned cat will be blissfully spoilt with all the tandem petting we will give him.

Then it’s time to turn our thoughts to 2010.

People tend to make grand resolutions in the week or so before New Year’s Eve…and break most of them before Groundhog Day. Admittedly, I love that movie, but even if I didn’t, I still wouldn’t want to break its heart by lying to it (Query: How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: Fish.).

So it is that I approach the whole notion of resolutions with a bit of trepidation. And yet it really does seem to be expected of one. I thought I might get mine written down a bit ahead of schedule. What? My mother had me so terrified of being late as a child that I was regularly half an hour early to nearly every function. I’ve relaxed a bit as an adult. Now I consider ten minutes early sufficient in a pinch. For major events like an entire change of calendar, I like to be Johnny-on-the-spot three or four days before anyone else.

So here, without further ado, are my New Year resolutions:

1: I resolve to fly my freak flag high. I love bright colors, bold styles, big jewelry, hats, and loud classic rock. Anyone who has a problem with this, or any other aspect of my personality is cordially invited to suck it. I am a (mostly) gentle soul and I’m not hurting anyone, so how I dress or what I love is between me, myself and I. I do not apologize. I do not slink. I do not have to explain to anyone in the world what a grown woman is doing with a rubber duckie collection or what a fat woman is doing wearing orange.

2: I resolve to do good for my community. It’s easy to remember to give to good causes at Christmas and the New Year. There’s a Santa with a donation bucket or a Good Soul coming to your door or a reminder from your favorite cause everywhere you turn at this time of year. When I shopped at Borders, I threw in a stuffed panda bear for an abused child. When I got some coffee at Peet’s, I donated a couple bucks to the local shelter for victims of domestic violence. I love it that giving is made so very easy at this time of year, but I need to remember to do more in the other eleven months. I’ll be clearing some older, but still perfectly wearable clothes out of my closet in the next month or two. Luckily, I remembered to take some literature on that shelter so I can contact them to see if they can use anything. And I’ll keep being a good neighbor. They need someone to look after their cat sometimes. I’m happy to do that. Maybe I can do…no, scratch that. I definitely can do more. It’s time to make it happen.

3: I resolve to take better care of myself this coming year. Over the last few months I’ve been a bit cavalier about my own welfare. I stay up into the wee hours, rise when Mr. Twistie starts getting ready for work, pour myself a massive mug of coffee and remember to have breakfast slightly after noon. There have been reasons for this personal neglect, but it’s time to stop and pull myself together. Regular sleep and regular meals are important. I deserve them. And since my mommy has been dead for nearly twenty years, it’s kind of my job these days to make sure I get them.

4: I resolve to rediscover my own creativity. Again, there have been reasons I haven’t pulled down my lace pillow or written a short story in longer than I care to think about. But those reasons are no longer there to stop me. My life has changed for the better and I’m about to bloom again. Watch out world!

I think that’s enough to be getting on with. What about all of you? Are you making any resolutions this year? Tell me about them.

I know what you’ve been thinking. “I’m a busy girl, I’m pressed for time. How can I combine my love for alcohol AND confectionery?”

Answer:

Double Chocolate Booze Balls

2 cups Nabisco chocolate wafers, finely crushed
1 cup coarsely-ground toasted pecans
1/2 tsp salt
1 c powdered sugar
1/4 c. decent cognac (I use Rémy Martin VSOP)
1/4 c. cocoa powder
1 1/2 tbs corn syrup

Optional:
1/4 c. chopped dried cherries or cranberries

In a food processor pulse together the wafers, nuts, salt, half the powdered sugar and half the cocoa (2 tbs) add cognac and corn syrup and fruit if using. Pulse again until dough forms. Pat dough together and let chill for 30 minutes or until firm. Form into bite-sized balls. In shallow bowl or pie plate, combine remaining sugar and cocoa. Roll booze balls in sugar/cocoa mixture. These are better if they set a few days but no one can blame you if you test a few for quality control.