This week we’ll be doing a series of mini-featurettes dedicated to making your season merry and bright and what’s more merry and bright than a bright red cocktail? Nothin’!
These have been my bev of choice ever since Billy at The Good Knight (winner of the best cocktails in Austin) mixed one up when I said “I don’t know, just make me something I’ll like.”

This is a close approximation, and every bit as good.

Ruby Manhattan:

2 oz. Maker’s Mark bourbon
1 1/2 oz. decent ruby port
dash bitters (I use Fee’s Orange, but plain old Angostura should be fine)
twist of lemon or orange peel

Stir together the booze and the bitters in a cocktail shaker, strain into a rocks glass –either up or on the rocks, twist the peel over the glass and drop in. Maraschino cherries kill this drink, so save ‘em for the sundaes.

Incidentally, you don’t have to use the very best port for this recipe. I use Charbay Ruby Port because that’s what I have, but unless you’re a real enthusiast, there’s no need to drop $50 on a bottle. Don’t go for plonk, but Dow’s or anything in the $10 range should be just fine.

I’ll tell you a secret. I don’t really do much for Christmas.  I mean sure, I celebrate it as a high holy day and entertain myself during the weeks of Advent by moving my three wisemen around the house, getting ever-closer to “Bethlehem” which is on my mantel, next to that year’s Christmas shoes. But other than that, I don’t do much.

Christmas Eve I’m spending at church (and apparently when you wave goodbye to the folks you sit next to, you’re not allowed to say “See you on Easter!”  I mean where’s the fun in THAT?) and then my pal Kirk and I are going straight to my favorite neighborhood gay bar for gin, tonics and horror stories about our collective mothers.

Then on Christmas Day I’m going to turn off my phone and just enjoy the quiet and have my official watching of The Pogue’s Fairytale of New York video:

(see a baby Matt Dillon as Shane MacGowan’s arresting officer )

Christmas, for whatever anyone says, doesn’t have to be the hap-happiest time of the year. Sometimes it can just be okay, or not very good, or even bad. If we force ourselves to have The Best Christmas Ever, we’ll always be disappointed. I know this is a tough time for a lot of folks, so chins up. No matter how bad things get, you still probably smell better than Shane MacGowan.

Buy the song here.

Last week, my best pal Kirk mentioned casually on his Facebook how he was not especially fond of It’s a Wonderful Life.  I mentioned –equally casually– that my favorite Capra movie was and forever shall be It Happened One Night. Well you would’ve thought we said we hated America, apple pie and happiness!

And it’s not like there’s anything WRONG with It’s a Wonderful Life other than it’s boring, long and not-at-all-interesting, but it’s just not a very good movie.  No, for my money the best Christmas movie from that era has got to be The Bishop’s Wife, starring Cary Grant as Dudley, David Niven as the Bishop and Loretta Young as his titular wife.

(Bishops are ALWAYS making that face. ALWAYS.)

If you haven’t seen it, do so immediately. If it’s been a while, watch it again. I find that in these times of tightened belts the film resonates even more than before.  Click here to buy or rent.

Once again, Francesca reminds you: if you are buying something online that you need before Christmas, check the shipping options carefully!

AVENUE is taking 30% off everything online and in-store “for a limited time.” Excludes clearance. Online, use code AV91172. The outfit pictured, which could be great for the tall, non-apple woman, is available here.

CATHERINES has sales both in-store and online through Thursday: 50% off select regular price items and < 40% off clearance. For clearance, the online prices already reflect this discount. FYI, the readers with the very wide hips who thought the Kiyonna “no” of last week should have been a “yes” may also like this sweater.

LANE BRYANT will enter you for a chance to win $25,000 if you text “LBWIN” to 50799. Details here. Also they have reintroduced their Cacique no-wire bra.

TORRID wants you to look at their big collection of jeans and new sweaters. Francesca’s picks: dramatic Cowl-Neck Dolman-Sleeve Sweater, classic argyle cardigan, sweet cropped cardigan. She’d pick this lace inset cardigan, too, if it weren’t for the bow.

JUST MY SIZE will give you free standard shipping on any order of $50 or more, through tomorrow.

ZAPPOS will still guarantee delivery before Christmas (with free shipping both ways!) if you order before 1 pm (EST?) on Wednesday.

B & LU has a nice holiday collection (Francesca apologizes for not posting this earlier; the email slipped through the cracks). Francesca’s pick.

WOMENSUITS will give you a free matching hat with any of these 8 “Church” or “Mother of the Bride” suits, through Wednesday: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight. You all know how Francesca feels about the superfantastic hats of spectaculosity! If you buy one of these outfits, please email Francesca a photo!

ZAFTIQUE is having year-end sales until December 30.

Francesca wishes you the peaceful, serene, and happy Christmas week.

Oh yeah, I’m a lucky lady.

You see, recently Shop Translated picked several blogs to participate in giveaways of their clothes. I entered the prize drawing at Hyde and Seek, a blog I enjoy tremendously. As it happens, I was one of the winners. As a winner, I was allowed to pick one piece of clothing from Shop Translated. The only caveat was that it couldn’t be from the New Arrivals section. Fair enough.

It took a little while to make my decision, but when I saw the sleeveless wrap dress:

I knew I’d found my piece.

My new dress arrived on saturday. Considering that I won just seven days earlier, I call that swift service. The good folks at Shop Translated even congratulated me on my win on the invoice. Nice touch.

So what do I think of my win? First off, the picture does not do it justice. I thought it looked pretty in the picture, but it’s absolutely gorgeous in person. The splashy print is in purple, turquoise, and navy blue – my favorite colors – on a warm ivory background. And while the fabric is polyester, it’s a high grade of polyester. The seams and hems are finished impeccably.  Seriously, I haven’t seen such neat finishing for this price in a very, very, very long time. There are small vents at the sides of the skirt (just a couple inches), and while it looks sort of cap sleeved in the picture, it actually is sleeveless.

At 5’2″ I’m definitely shorter than the model, but I prefer to wear my skirts a little long, so that’s no problem. It hits about mid-calf on me. What’s closer to being a problem (for me) is the fact that the model is also more chestally endowed than I am. I’m a C cup and the ‘wrap’ bodice is inclined to open up a bit more than I’d like. As in, I had trouble covering up my bra. Still, it’s nothing a well-placed brooch or a couple of small tacking stitches can’t take care of. In the meantime, those of you in the D – DD range will probably get a perfect fit on the faux wrap.

In short, I consider this site an excellent place to look for something new to wear at a reasonable price.

Go, thou, and support a fine purveyor of attractive clothes for the more generously-sized lady of fashion consciousness.

Okay, by now you should all be aware of the reprehensible Photoshopping flapdoodle surrounding Ralph Lauren (AKA: Princelet of Darkness, because he can’t be number one while His Karlness is still around). We’ve certainly done our level best to bring the matter to your attention.

And it seems to be slowly reaching the national media, as well. Tonight, Dec. 19, 2009 CNN enters the arena with a segment on the boycott. Tune in at 10:00 pm Eastern, 9:00 pm Central, or 7:00 pm Pacific.

Set your DVRs, folks! I know I’ll be tuning in.

Hola, caption lovers! That’s ‘hello’ for those of you who don’t speak Spanish. I bet you weren’t expecting a language lesson, were you? Hey, it’s nada. Er…that’s nothing. Again, Spanish.

Anyway. Moving along.

Last week I presented you with this heart-stopping image:

and you all came out swinging with seven wickedly deranged captions to warm the cockles of my shriveled remains of a heart.

In the end, though, there can be but one. This week, the winner is klee for one of the most superfantastic bits of celebrity-ribbing I’ve seen in many a moon:

Suri Cruise puts the final touches on the scaled-to-size country she purchased as a Christmas gift for her father.

Congratulations to klee, and thanks to everyone who played!