Okay, you’re hungover. You had too much to drink or the champagne didn’t agree with you (champers hangovers are the very worst) or who knows WHAT’s wrong, but right now you’ve got the remaining wild population of Northern White Rhinos doing the opening number from A Chorus Line in your head and you would REALLY REALLY like it to stop before either you or they become extinct.
If you were smart, you took an aspirin and drank a big glass of water before bed, but if you’d done that, you’d probably not be hung now, so tuck that away for next time and keep reading.
There are all sorts of magical, mystical ways of “curing” hangovers: raw eggs, hair of the dog, menudo (though how a bunch of hairless closet-cases are going to cure a hangover I have no idea) but they’re all pretty much nonsense.
To cure a hangover (or almost any headache) you will need:
Really. That’s it. And drink some water when you’re done.
I discovered this years ago at a Rose Tea held by the Daughters of The King when one of the doyennes bemoaned the loss of her “Beecee’s breakfast” as it was the only thing she missed from her “drinkin’ days.” Now, in the South one does NOT question a Daughter, particularly not on the subjects of etiquette or drinking as they have developed both into art forms. If you cross a Daughter you might as well sell your silver, move North and become a Unitarian. (I am sure there are very nice Yankee Unitarians out there, and someday I will teach you how to make pimento cheese the way the Lord intended and you can teach me how to …do whatever it is your people do. Order from LL Bean? Shovel snow? Give me a clue here.)
Anyway, you pour a little packet of powder on your tongue –Goody’s also works, or I guess you could crush up an aspirin or Excedrin– and wash (I feel like I should say “warsh”, but I just can’t) it down with your cold-as-you-can-stand-it Co’Cola. You’ll see that the picture says Mexican Coca-Cola, and that truly is the ideal. It’s made with cane and not high-fructose corn syrup and is infinitely superior in every conceivable way to the stuff we get stateside.
Obviously if you live in Texas or California or any place with a large Mexican population, this is dead easy to find, but if you’re further north I’ve heard you can buy it at Jewish delis and markets, marked “Kosher for Passover” although it might not be available year ’round.
If you positively cannot get Mexican Coke, go for the red can. The plastic bottle doesn’t get cold enough and the diet ones don’t work (plus they’re gross).