Okay, you’re hungover. You had too much to drink or the champagne didn’t agree with you (champers hangovers are the very worst) or who knows WHAT’s wrong, but right now you’ve got the remaining wild population of Northern White Rhinos doing the opening number from A Chorus Line in your head and you would REALLY REALLY like it to stop before either you or they become extinct.
If you were smart, you took an aspirin and drank a big glass of water before bed, but if you’d done that, you’d probably not be hung now, so tuck that away for next time and keep reading.
There are all sorts of magical, mystical ways of “curing” hangovers: raw eggs, hair of the dog, menudo (though how a bunch of hairless closet-cases are going to cure a hangover I have no idea) but they’re all pretty much nonsense.
To cure a hangover (or almost any headache) you will need:
Really. That’s it. And drink some water when you’re done.
I discovered this years ago at a Rose Tea held by the Daughters of The King when one of the doyennes bemoaned the loss of her “Beecee’s breakfast” as it was the only thing she missed from her “drinkin’ days.” Now, in the South one does NOT question a Daughter, particularly not on the subjects of etiquette or drinking as they have developed both into art forms. If you cross a Daughter you might as well sell your silver, move North and become a Unitarian. (I am sure there are very nice Yankee Unitarians out there, and someday I will teach you how to make pimento cheese the way the Lord intended and you can teach me how to …do whatever it is your people do. Order from LL Bean? Shovel snow? Give me a clue here.)
Anyway, you pour a little packet of powder on your tongue –Goody’s also works, or I guess you could crush up an aspirin or Excedrin– and wash (I feel like I should say “warsh”, but I just can’t) it down with your cold-as-you-can-stand-it Co’Cola. You’ll see that the picture says Mexican Coca-Cola, and that truly is the ideal. It’s made with cane and not high-fructose corn syrup and is infinitely superior in every conceivable way to the stuff we get stateside.
Obviously if you live in Texas or California or any place with a large Mexican population, this is dead easy to find, but if you’re further north I’ve heard you can buy it at Jewish delis and markets, marked “Kosher for Passover” although it might not be available year ’round.
If you positively cannot get Mexican Coke, go for the red can. The plastic bottle doesn’t get cold enough and the diet ones don’t work (plus they’re gross).
Being in the Great White North (Detroit-area Michigan to be exact), would Throwback Pepsi work in a pinch? It’s made with the cane sugar you mentioned.
Fortunately, I am not nursing a hangover today. I have my remedy of choice: Gatorade.
Comment by Lisa — January 1, 2010 @ 12:10 pm
My favorite hangover cure is one big fat bean and cheese breakfast taco and one big fat egg and chorizo breakfast taco. Mmmm.
Comment by Sarah — January 2, 2010 @ 1:56 am
My best hangover remedy is a greasy breakfast and a few cans of Coke and it was good however now I have to go find Mexican Coke. Would any pure cane sugar work or is it the combo of caffeine and sugar?
P.S. @Lisa I too am from the D! *waves* Hi
Comment by AmazonAngelle — January 2, 2010 @ 2:11 am
Hi other Lisa! Pepsi should work just fine. Plumcake’s hangover remedy is like my migrane-stopper. If I take two advil and a coke, I can prevent a migrane from going big on me when I first feel the pain coming on. I think the caffeine in the soda accelerates how fast you absorb the aspirin or pain killer and gives you a sugar boost.
And always drink the water.
Comment by Lisa — January 2, 2010 @ 2:47 am
It depends on the hangover. If it’s a seedy, headachey hangover, then I find that a big bowl of steel-cut oatmeal chased down with three cups of black coffee tends to do the trick. If it’s a nauseated hangover, then I start with a cool (but not cold) glass of water with lemon in it, followed by much bacon and some toast.
Comment by La Petite Acadienne — January 2, 2010 @ 1:29 pm
Hangovers, hair of the dog. But who cares, I want the dirt on the pimento cheese!
Comment by Abby — January 2, 2010 @ 5:34 pm
I think the best cure for a hangover is a short Yoga for the Hungover session, some water, and a big healthy breakfast.
Comment by All Women Stalker — January 3, 2010 @ 10:25 pm
Another variant is a “powder” – BC or Goody’s — and a ginger ale (dry) upon arising, followed by coffee, eggs and toast — when you are up to it.
Some swear by substituting a Bloody Mary for the breakfast food.
Comment by Susan — January 4, 2010 @ 2:41 am
In comparing hangover-relief combinations (including my preferred one, an ice-cream bar and a cup of coffee with cream and sugar), I’ve noticed that most of them tend to rely on the same things: Caffeine, sugar, fat, largish amounts of fluid, or some combination of the four. The sole exception is the “more alcohol” technique, which I never found to work — you still get all the pain, just later.
Comment by Rabrab — January 4, 2010 @ 11:15 am
Red wine hangover – Starbuck’s coffee. I know, it’s evil and burnt and blah dee bloop, but it’s the only coffee I’ve found that gets rid of the tannin fog and gives me back my ability to see color after a night of pinot.
Any other hangover – Trudy’s migas and fajitas, washed down with any kind of brown soft drink (coke, dr. pepper, diet coke.) Iced tea will not work! I think the bubbles help clean my mental pipes or something.
Comment by LL — January 4, 2010 @ 12:36 pm
This is absolutely the hangover cure that works best – I’ve looked at many (perhaps too many) champagne hangovers and nothing else comes close to touching them. A further refinement for those in the northeast on “passover coke”: The 2L bottles have a yellow cap and are marked with an “OU-P” symbol and/or the words Kosher L’Pesach in Hebrew. If you’re really, really lucky and you live in a big city, you might be able to find the cans of real sugar coke. If you do, please tell me where, because I will go there! The real sugar makes all the difference.
Comment by mywhimsey — January 4, 2010 @ 1:04 pm
My Russian roommate introduced me to a vat of hot unsweetened black tea that’s steeped until it is literally black and toast. Now I’ve only had one incapacitating hangover in my life and that combined with a judicious amount of water nursed me through it.
Comment by Sara A. — January 5, 2010 @ 8:16 pm