Francesca sometimes reads the blog “Single Dad/Disabled Daughter,” which is pretty much what it sounds like: it is written by a 40-something New England man whose teenage daughter is non-mobile, non-verbal, and cannot communicate in any way. (She laughs and cries, but cannot perform a repeatable action at will to represent “yes” or “no.”)
As “Pearlsky” gets older, Single Dad wants to know from his female readers how he can make his daughter look pretty and well-cared-for, without sexualizing her or crossing into creepy territory:
Should her ears be pierced? Her navel? And if so, should she wear those shirts that show her midriff?
I have always wanted, and still want, Pearlsky to blend in as much as possible . . . . Yes, I know Pearlsky will never really blend in, so maybe it is so she stands out less?
She is dark haired … do I shave her legs in the summertime when she is in shorts and swimming? Should she wear nail polish? Lipstick? (Those two are probably impractical, but still). How about mascara? If not, why do you? Being a teenager, her skin occasionally breaks out, especially in rhythm with her cycle. Should I try to minimize any acne-like activity? If so, how does that reasoning differ from mascara which would only highlight her beautiful eyes. But then, do I want to highlight anything beautiful about her? If so, why? Why not?
Francesca knows that the intelligent, stylish and friendly women here will have good pointers for this poor stymied man! Read the whole post and share your wisdom here.
P.S. Word to the wise: Single Dad really does not like it when people compliment him for being strong or doing things that they don’t think they could do in his shoes. He is also tired of “Lord bless you and Pearlsky” sentiments. FYI.
Thanks for posting this, Francesca. I was fascinated to read his stuff, and the responses he’s been getting (especially since I have a special needs little one too).
By the way, he noticed us :) http://www.disableddaughter.com/?p=1495#more-1495
Comment by mini_pixie — January 13, 2010 @ 1:38 pm