…as Francesca does, here is a little reminder to the Single Ladies and to all the Big Girls that there are, indeed, men out there who love us for our bodies AND our minds and hearts. (Not that having men be attracted to us makes us any more or less “valid” as people or as productive members of society, but it is nice to know.)
Warning: the column may have some emotional triggers for many readers.
I have two comments. The first is that my husband of 25 years has seen me at 110 pounds and at 220 pounds. He has never stopped loving me, or suggested I lose weight, or do anything but support me. I am a diabetic, and have high cholesterol and he is even cooking me meals for my condition. When I dress up, he still tells me I’m beautiful.
Another thing is that when I was thin and dating a guy in university, he finally told me I wasn’t his “type”. I saw him a few years ago, and he thought I looked better than I had in university. He even told me that if I’d looked like that, he might not have broken up with me. (Yeah, jerk.)
It’s true…men love all kinds of women, in all kinds of shapes. The right guy for anyone is the one who loves them as they are, right now.
Comment by Christine — January 25, 2010 @ 3:33 pm
I wish I had seen this in high school and dealing with hurtful commentary from my mom, grandma and classmates at school.
Comment by dcsurfergirl — January 25, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
Ah yes. The sensitivity of the college boy who tells one she would be cute if she would just “lose a little bit of weight.” When one is in nothing but her underpants. Not that one remembers this moment that happened 30 years ago or anything. At least one had the sense not to remove the underpants and indeed had the self respect to get dressed and not go out with the boy again.
But still.
Cute enough to make out with to the point of almost naked? But not cute enough?
Jerk.
Comment by The gold digger — January 25, 2010 @ 5:51 pm
At least you didn’t marry him, Golddigger.
Why, yes. Yes, I did. I didn’t know that at the time, of course!
Now he can say it to the four walls, or anyone else, I don’t care. Not my problem any more.
Comment by La BellaDonna — January 25, 2010 @ 6:37 pm
Oh LBD. No! No! I am so sorry! Please tell me that at least you kicked his sorry butt to the curb once you saw the error of your ways.
PS This guy was really in love with my college roommate and offered her MONEY TO SLEEP WITH HIM. She, horrified, declined. Amazingly enough, we are all cordial to him today and are even facebook friends.
But I have not forgotten. Oh no. NOR HAVE I LOST A LITTLE BIT OF WEIGHT. HA! And yet men pursued me! And I had more than one marriage proposal! What’s all THAT about?
In the end, we all laugh last.
Comment by The gold digger, aka Class Factotum — January 26, 2010 @ 11:27 am
Ok, so where are these men? At 60 I’m a bit older than most of you but I’m pretty well preserved for my age. I’d really like to find a guy but it’s been years since I’ve had a serious boyfriend. I was married but have been divorced since 1987. I am trying to lose weight, not so much to be skinny (I’ll never be skinny), but because the extra weight makes my knees and hips hurt. It’s good to know those guys are out there, but where? Or maybe it’s a generational thing?
Comment by mdegraffen — January 26, 2010 @ 12:30 pm
mdegraffen, my mom, who is 66, has been a widow for 12 years. She is plumpish, matronly. Nice. She does not look like Helen Mirren or Diane Keaton or Goldie Hawn. She looks like a midwestern housewife, which is what she is. She is one heck of a cook.
She has had five marriage proposals since my dad died. She has turned them all down because she doesn’t want to pick someone else’s socks up from her floor, I think.
She has met her gentlemen callers at church and at catholicmatch.com (or whatever it is). Another two were old friends who were recycled after their wives died.
Comment by The gold digger — January 26, 2010 @ 1:20 pm
Ok, that’s it. I want to be friends with your mom, gold digger.
Comment by Lisa — January 26, 2010 @ 2:11 pm
Lisa, my mom rocks. :)
Comment by the gold digger — January 27, 2010 @ 9:21 pm
I wish I had the confidence the women in the article and in this comments section have. I am getting to the point where I dislike my boyfriend for finding me attractive and telling me I am beautiful when I feel like an old ugly walrus. It is the relationship version of “I wouldn’t want to be a club of anywhere that would have me as a member.”
Comment by Rural Juror — January 31, 2010 @ 4:52 pm