As for pants I have a little bit of a tummy from the baby so I can only fit a nutria in at the waist with me rather then a badger. I just buy a larger size high waisted jeans a little short so they catch at the hips since they will fall off my waist anyway. I then wear long tops. Not perfect but serviceable.

I have to shop like a schizo–I’m still running around Anthropologie for tops and can squeeze into Gap bottoms, but if I need a suit or a straight skirt, I’m plum out of luck or I have to run to LB or to Tahari suits. However, EVERYTHING i buy from plus size designers goes from the store to the tailors immediately. Everything has to be taken in, hemmed and let out appropriately. And if I want a suit, I have to be the girl who secretly buys a 14w top and 18w bottom (don’t judge me–this is a safe space)

I think it’s rough. But, I also think it’s rough for apples. Most styles of clothing for women are essentially styles that flatter a flat tummy and comparatively wider hips and busts. and that’s for straight and plus sizes. Then again, apples DO have some rockin gams and this particular pear’s gams are a lil jiggly; there are never any shorts in my summer and there haven’t been since I was about 13.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Christine, from what you’ve said (38F, size 16 and my hips are flat. My room I need in my waist makes the rear and legs bag and sag) – visualize your body. Large upper body, smaller waist, smallest at the rear and hips: V. You are the classic V-shape/upside down triangle/”athletic” figure. You and the apple can often wear the same garments. Think of all the late 30s-early-to-mid-40s clothes, with their broad shoulders and narrow hips. You will be able to wear straight skirts, where a pear cannot. You can also wear trumpet skirts – narrow through the hip, flaring at the hem. I can’t wear them to save my life, and of course, I love them. C’est la guerre. Vogue patterns marks its patterns with icons to show what body shapes the pattern will flatter: V, X, /\, l. It might be worth going to their website to look at different patterns, see the designs that are recommended for the different body types.

I think it’s been recognized that more women – especially the ones who write here about fashion – tend to be apples or pears than anything else; the other shape choices are ruler (that would be your 30-30-30 classic – anyone with a bust and hips the same size, but a waist less than 6″ smaller than the bust/waist) or hourglass (about 8% of the population) – that requires SHOULDERS as wide as the hips, usually but not always with the bosom the same size as the hips, and a waist 8″ to 10″ or more smaller than the bust/waist. There’s also the V-shape, or inverted triangle, with broad shoulders/bust and small waist and REALLY SMALL hips, and usually very trim legs. This is the figure type that most tends to put on weight in the midsection, giving rise to the classic apple shape – who often has narrow hips and trim legs. The pear has SHOULDERS that are narrower than her hips, and usually a bust measurement which is smaller than her hips, too.

What makes things tricky is that measurements aren’t everything; it’s possible for a woman to be a very busty pear, with narrow shoulders and a narrow back, but she isn’t an hourglass – that’s why her clothes will often look strange from the back, and she can’t figure out why. Or a woman will think she’s an hourglass based on her measurements – but she’s not; all of her bottom measurement is IN her bottom, and instead of being X-shaped, she needs to dress more like someone V-shaped. You can line up five women who weigh the same, who are the same height, who will have radically different figures. You can be petite through part of your body, but not all of it. Posture can make HUGE, HUGE, HUGE differences in clothing sizes. I’m an hourglass (now with belly pad! Look for it in stores near you!) – I’m shortlegged, but long through the torso. In fact, what I ACTUALLY am is: Long through the neck; long through the bustpoint (shoulder to nipple measurement); long through the midriff, and REALLY long through the FRONT waist-to-crotch; and EXTRA-short through the back. I’m 2 1/2 inches shorter in the back neck length (the bone at the base of the neck to my waist) than someone my size should be. That extra 2 1/2 inches is in my FRONT length, because I have a hyper-erect posture, and carry my shoulders rolled back. That back posture means that even tops that should close over my bust, won’t. I could wear a 4/6 in my back – and a 12/14 in my front. Even though I have BROAD, not narrow, shoulders. And I have extra-long arms to coordinate with my short legs, go me! I have one hip higher and rounder than the other (which is lower and flatter). I have arms which are 2″ bigger than my “size”, and it never mattered if I was a size 4 or a size 16, they were STILL 2″ bigger than my “size”!

I also can’t shop at Zara’s or H&M, because they’re sized for a junior body shape, regardless of going up or down in size numbers – a junior shape is higher-busted, and has less bust/waist/hip development; it’s meant for a teenage figure. A misses’ size is meant to fit a fully-developed woman; it’s why a woman who can wear a 4 or 6 won’t look good in a 5 or 7 – those odd numbers are junior sizes. The fact that Zara’s uses misses numbering just makes them liar, liar, pants on fire. As we age – especially women – we lose some of the fluid in our spinal disks. It’s why women get a little shorter, and thicker-waisted, as they get older; it isn’t just hormones. Women’s clothing sizes used to acknowledge this; they were cut a little wider in the waist and hips, compared to the bust.

THESE are the reasons it’s so hard for women to find clothes that fit. And proportions change, as extra weight is added to the skeleton. This isn’t a value judgment: it’s why it’s often hard to find clothes with the right shoulder proportions, or armholes that fit properly, or sleeves the right width.

The truth is, it is just REALLY hard to fit most women’s shapes. Men’s shapes, which vary much less, are DESIGNED to be altered! And at least until recently, a good men’s department would have a resident tailor – and alterations would be free! Whereas women, who vary more from the get-go, have less to choose from, have to pay for alterations, and think there’s something wrong with THEM, not the clothes, if the clothes don’t fit right! Men buy clothes expecting to alter the clothes to fit them; women buy clothes expecting to alter their bodies to fit the clothes. It isn’t right!

I know most of us would love to have the convenience of endless choices in the right sizes for each of us, but the truth is, it’s luck of the draw, and learning some basic sewing skills can be very liberating. So can choosing to limit one’s wardrobe, and rely on paying a good seamstress to MAKE things to fit. Have fewer, better clothes that last longer. Make them, or get them made, in the fabrics and colours you actually like. Support the stores you like when you do find them, because it’s prohibitively expensive to produce a clothing line – I know designers who wanted to do plus-size, and just couldn’t afford the money it would cost them. The start-up money is really frightening – and I’ll bet it’s tighter than ever, these days. If you find a niche producer on the internet, support that vendor! Don’t expect to be able to pay what standard sizes pay in the cheap chain shops, because the reason those clothes are so cheap is because the men, women and children who make those garments aren’t being paid a living wage.

The entirety of the problem can be attributed to the fact that 90+% of all women’s clothing lines are cut for women with a waist 10″-12″ smaller than their hips. The fact is that there are a lot of us who fall outside of that window.

(And for the record, your waist is above your navel, not at your navel. Depending on your size, there will be a crease or fat roll on your side to mark this.)

Incidentally, for the apples, I highly recommend trying LB’s, Fashion Bug’s, and Catherine’s Right Fit Yellows for pants. For some weird reason, the Right Fits aren’t exactly the same across all three stores, so an LB Yellow 5 may not be the same as an FB Yellow 5. Also try Junior Plus brands for smaller hip cuts, and possibly the Just My Size jeans at Wal-Mart(which are the only pants in all of creation to give me plumber’s crack.)

For pears, I’m inclined to recommend the Right Fits Blues for you. Again, try all three stores. Also check out the “urban” denim brands like Baby Phat and Apple Bottoms since they’ve cashed in on the inaccurate belief that every Black and Hispanic woman in the bloody universe has wide hips or a big booty.

As for my personal fit issues, I’m a figure-8 with the industry standard 10″ waist/hip differential(with most of it in the back, so my hips are almost straight). As a result, pants have never been a problem for me. Skirts and some dresses, however, tend to be 2 or 3 inches higher in the back, and I’m still learning to stop freaking out about it.

Up top, though, the Rack of Doom has excluded me from any top that requires buttoning. I also have narrow, slopey shoulders, so a lot of armholes(armscyes) tend to be about an inch or two down my arm. The slopeyness also makes my shirts slide around and migrate toward my neck, but I can’t wear low-cut things because the Cleavage of Great Peril starts at my collarbone. (Not “can’t” so much as “shouldn’t”. I’m not ashamed of my chest at all.) Strangely, my arms, as big as they are, haven’t caused me any problems lately. I think I’m the one that they make the huge armholes for.

I’ve figured out a few rules for myself over the years: No button-down shirts or blouses – they gap and/or billow in all the wrong places. No high heels – adding height to my bottom half just makes me more disproportionate and likely to twist an ankle. Separates, not dresses. No high necklines, no belts, and no tucking in tops ever. Empire waists are either fabulous or disastrous, depending on the individual garment’s fit.

I’ve learned to embrace cropped pants and 3/4 sleeves as a feature, not a bug (and to sew knitted cuffs into my winter coats so my wrists don’t freeze). My eventual goal is to opt out of the fashion rat race altogether (without giving up on style) and become proficient at custom-making all my own clothes. I’d love to see that become a more widespread trend, since nobody seems to be satisfied with how things fit off the rack. I realize it’s not the answer for everyone, though, and some people enjoy shopping a lot more than I do.

And I’m big around the middle, but not up top. So dresses don’t work either. Mostly I opt for the kill-my-waist can’t-wait-to-get-them-off pants.

And, just to complain in general about large-sized clothes: What is with the sleeves? Why so big & so long? Am I to believe that most people my size have massive knuckle-draggers attached to their shoulders? I’m tall and I have long arms and still some tops and sweaters have sleeves that extend well past my wrists. I don’t get it.