So I feel I would be remiss if I failed to mention that big sporting event that happened the other day, but I’ll be honest: I didn’t watch.
I just don’t care that much about American pro football.
At least with soccer and rugby I can root for teams based on guys I’ve dated. For example, in the SI am OUTRAGED that Scotland lost to France, FRANCE for Pete’s sake, because the Scottish firefighter with whom I had a very enjoyable Horizontal Association in the summer of 2008 could totally have taken Andre who, while quite a bit taller and probably stronger, is a great big Parisian puss.
What I DO care about is The Who, who apparently played the halftime show.
I know they played the halftime show because several of my Facebook friends posted variations of the following status update:
“Ooh, CSI Medley!”
Friends, I think it’s time Miss Plumcake teach you a valuable lesson about life.
In this crazy, mixed-up cuckoo world there are two sorts of people:
There are people who hear the strains of The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” and think “CSI: Stripper Toddler Death” (I don’t know what the show’s really called, but they’re all about dead strippers and toddlers, except for the one that’s about raped strippers and toddlers. Because, you know, that’s a normal and healthy thing to want to watch.)
These people are not your friends.
Do not let them water your plants, babysit your children, pick out your bridesmaid dresses or order your drink when you’ve run to the bathroom. They will undoubtedly mess it up and you’ll end up with blue novelty cocktails and children who will NEVER get into Vanderbilt, even if you are a legacy. These are People Who Don’t Know and are to be treated with a combination of suspicion, loathing and pity.
On the other hand, there are people –decent, right-thinking people– who hear those famous strains and automatically think:
EPIC. FREAKING. POWERSLIDE.
These people are your friends. You should buy these people cocktails, expensive shoes and, upon request, ponies.
Friends, what you just witnessed is one of the most iconic moments in rock n’ roll.
Pete Townshend setting the gold standard in power slides during the Shepperton Gig for the 1979 documentary “The Kids Are Alright” (which technically makes me the SECOND coolest thing to be released in 1979).
Townshend is better known for his windmills–to which I’ve referred before– and destroying his guitar on stage. I cannot say I approve of guitar smashing, but let’s face it. He’s Pete Townshend. He can do pretty much whatever he wants.
For further reference of the power of the windmill (and the import of a well-cut pair of trousers) please refer to the following:
Baba O’Riley (which some people will call Teenage Wasteland, but will be wrong)
and for advanced study, google the full Shepperton recording of Won’t Get Fooled Again where –in addition to the previously mentioned powerslide and windmills– you will find examples of Advanced Mic Tossing courtesy of Professor Roger Daltrey, Drumming for the Clinically Insane by our dearly departed Keith Moon, and Just Standing There Being the Bass Player by John Entwistle.