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STEALTH FAT STEALS YOUR NETFLIX WITHOUT RETURNING THEM | Manolo for the Big Girl

STEALTH FAT STEALS YOUR NETFLIX WITHOUT RETURNING THEM

OH NOES!!!!111ELEVEN!!! Did you know there was a way to be SECRETLY FAT! It’s called “Skinny Fat” which means you’re slender on the outside but ZOMG YOU ARE FAT ON THE INSIDE WHICH MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO DIIIIIIE.

You CAN NEVER BE SAFE FROM TEH FATZ! It waits in your closet until you’re asleep!  It swallows your grandmother and then puts on her comically small glasses and nightgown!  IT IS FILLING OUT A CREDIT CARD APPLICATION IN YOUR NAME RIGHT NOW AND THE INTEREST RATE IS USURIOUSLY HIGH!!!

Basically the news here is –hold onto your hairnets– just because you’re slim doesn’t mean you’re healthy.

DOI

We here at Manolo for the Big Girl are all about health at every size and an unhealthy lifestyle at ANY size is, well, less than ideal.  I’ve got plus-size friends who RUN FREAKIN’ TRIATHLONS and you know I’m sorry, but if you can run a triathlon, you really don’t need to worry about what size pants you wear.

Also, where is the reverse of this Skinny Fat phenomenon?  Where is Porky Slim? I’ve got amazing blood pressure and cholesterol and I get my vitamins by Any Means Necessary (this apparently involves nude sunbathing, I Am Not Making This Up we’ll talk later) no one is asking me on tedious morning television shows saying “OMG GUYS! This girl is fat AND YET SOMEHOW she’s not a walking timebomb of sloth and disease!”

6 Responses to “STEALTH FAT STEALS YOUR NETFLIX WITHOUT RETURNING THEM”

  1. Deb March 10, 2010 at 1:41 pm #

    Yeah, I used to stay thin (BMI of 19) by smoking and drinking (Slimfast by day, light beer by night) and avoiding actual food. Now my BMI at 27.4 says I’m overweight, but I run four times a week and just yesterday my BP was 102/65 and my resting pulse was 60.

    I can live with that.

  2. harri p. March 10, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    Wasn’t I Am Porky Slim Beyonce’s last album?

  3. Evie March 11, 2010 at 12:08 am #

    My (amateur athlete) coworkers and I were talking about this earlier today, actually. We all know from experience that it’s possible to force our bodies to be skinny, but it takes about 50,000 times more effort. If you’re eating healthy, and you’re performing at whatever level you want to be performing at, then what’s the point of guilting and abusing yourself just to squeeze in to a smaller dress?

  4. Lisa March 11, 2010 at 3:53 am #

    THAT’S where my netflix was going! I kept blaming my husband!!

  5. All Women Stalker March 11, 2010 at 4:03 am #

    You should tell this to that Meme Roth person. I don’t know what defense she would have about this. Health at every size is possible just as much as unhealthiness at any size is possible.

  6. La BellaDonna March 12, 2010 at 9:09 am #

    What I love, however, is that it’s presented as a way to scoop up ALL women in the Net Of Fat: even if you THINK you’re thin, you’re really not! Neener neener neener! And you’re therefore STILL a moral failure, so Buy Our Product!