OH NOES!!!!111ELEVEN!!! Did you know there was a way to be SECRETLY FAT! It’s called “Skinny Fat” which means you’re slender on the outside but ZOMG YOU ARE FAT ON THE INSIDE WHICH MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO DIIIIIIE.
You CAN NEVER BE SAFE FROM TEH FATZ! It waits in your closet until you’re asleep! It swallows your grandmother and then puts on her comically small glasses and nightgown! IT IS FILLING OUT A CREDIT CARD APPLICATION IN YOUR NAME RIGHT NOW AND THE INTEREST RATE IS USURIOUSLY HIGH!!!
Basically the news here is –hold onto your hairnets– just because you’re slim doesn’t mean you’re healthy.
We here at Manolo for the Big Girl are all about health at every size and an unhealthy lifestyle at ANY size is, well, less than ideal. I’ve got plus-size friends who RUN FREAKIN’ TRIATHLONS and you know I’m sorry, but if you can run a triathlon, you really don’t need to worry about what size pants you wear.
Also, where is the reverse of this Skinny Fat phenomenon? Where is Porky Slim? I’ve got amazing blood pressure and cholesterol and I get my vitamins by Any Means Necessary (this apparently involves nude sunbathing, I Am Not Making This Up we’ll talk later) no one is asking me on tedious morning television shows saying “OMG GUYS! This girl is fat AND YET SOMEHOW she’s not a walking timebomb of sloth and disease!”