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SUCK IT Donna Simpson | Manolo for the Big Girl

SUCK IT Donna Simpson

I don’t like Drudge Report. It’s muckraking yellow journalism at its most slithery. However, I’ve gotten several emails today asking me to address the Daily Mail story that appeared on Drudge about the woman who –with the help of her partner– is trying to reach 1000 pounds and become the world’s heaviest woman.

Donna Simpson, ruining it for the rest of us

I’m of three minds about this.

Mind One: I’ve done a little research on the Feeder relationship (if you can, get a copy of Fall 2009’s Bitch Magazine, there is an excellent article on the sexual politics of Feeding by Jessica Hester. Also there’s an interesting-in-a-dry-academic-way scientific study in the Journal of Sex Research by Swamee and Tovée 46(1), 89–96, 2009) and I don’t like it one bit. I have a really hard time understanding why someone who purportedly loves you would abuse you and help you abuse yourself by doing something that’s drastically bad for you to the point where, they would take away your freedom of mobility, ultimately making you completely dependent on them just to satisfy their own desires. AND YOU LET THEM??? That’s some messed up stuff.

Mind Two: That being said, they’re grown adults and it’s not really any of our business what they do as long as her child is being taken care of. We can get all shocked and judgy, which is what we’re supposed to do. But psst, wanna know a secret? People Like Weird Things. Trust me. I dated a guy who went to Catholic school before Vatican II. You can only be hit by nuns for so many years before it takes its toll on your psyche.

Mind Three: Hey, thanks for reinforcing the stereotype that fat people are freaks who live on doughnuts and sweets! Because you know, it’s been SO easy to fight for fat acceptance and just be treated like normal human beings. Now, I don’t think the reading public is dumb enough to necessarily think all fat people are like her, but it does subtly lend credibility to fatbashers. I can work my vegetable-eating, workout-getting, healthy lifestyle-leading, size 22 ass off day in and day out FOR YEARS and it can all be negated, or almost negated, by one sensationalist interview from a lady with a very specific and unusual fetish.

PLUS, what better way to help the anti-fat brigade than by becoming unhealthy ON PURPOSE so everyone can get up in arms about how much money fat people are costing the government in health care? Because I’m not sure if you’ve noticed it yet, but we’re having a BIT OF A ROUGH TIME OF IT RIGHT NOW and it’s not quite expensive or difficult ENOUGH to be fat in this country, you’re willingly becoming the poster child of the folks who want to make it even harder. Thanks, Donna, you’re a real pal.

19 Responses to “SUCK IT Donna Simpson”

  1. dcsurfergirl March 15, 2010 at 2:45 pm #

    I agree with you, Plumcake. This story ends up as a kick in the teeth to anyone (regardless of weight) trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

  2. Kayla A. March 15, 2010 at 3:40 pm #

    Oi, I hate it when this fetish breaks the news. Considering I’m part of it, sort of. My boyfriend is a feeder, but I’m not a “feedee”. Thankfully, he’s not one of those, like this couple, that are interested in immobility. He finds it ecky – as do I and, I’m pretty sure, most people. I wouldn’t consider his fetish to be “abuse.” I mean, I have gained weight since we’ve been living together. Probably 30lbs. I’ve only gone up 4 dress sizes, so it wasn’t drastic. But the reason it came on wasn’t that he was shoving food in me constantly – he likes doting. Getting me things, buying me treats, that sort of thing. Granted, both he and I agree other people take these to…extremes. 1000lbs is just scary

  3. Ellie March 15, 2010 at 6:19 pm #

    I was wondering what the FA blogs would have to say about this. I think you hit the nail right on the head with each of your “minds.” Within the world of kink this is not SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual) so I think that many would frown on encouraging the behavior. All sexuality involves risks but this risk seems pretty severe and likely.

  4. Ali March 15, 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    With a man like that I’d have a death wish too. Because I am sorry, nobody reaches 1000 pounds naturally so I really think that woman just wants to die.

    I would have never, ever in my life, dated a man who would have fetishized my fat.
    I grew up with a (single) mom who didn’t date because she was a size 4 at 5.7ft, she had (natural) 34F boobs and she just couldn’t deal with the fact that a lot of men just wanted to date her because they were into her figure. Maybe that’s why I decided that I would only want to be with a man who would really, really like ME. My personality, my humor, my eyes, my big butt. But not just one part of my look.

    Please girls – respect yourself enough to not go out with guys who see you as an object much rather than a person. There are many good guys (and girls) out there, it might take a while to find a really good one but you will, no matter your size.

    And Plumcake – I love all of your posts. You are fantastically fabulous.

  5. LPS March 16, 2010 at 12:56 am #

    I’m on board with your “Mind Three” perspective. It is ridiculous this is getting publicity, and that someone would actually WANT to do this. Unfortunately, you’re right about this producing a stereotype and negates size acceptance steps that have been taken recently. With that being said, there are still a portion of the public that doesn’t see this and think all plus size people are like this. This is an extreme circumstance, and is just like when someone makes a cover/article because of anorexia. They are both extremes, and the people have problems that cause them to do this.

  6. raincoaster March 16, 2010 at 5:53 am #

    Well, you COULD go ahead and rip her apart for wearing those appallingly dowdy pants. I think we would all support you in that.

  7. theDiva March 16, 2010 at 6:39 am #

    raincoaster, ha!

    Seriously, though, I don’t even think I *want* to understand this.

  8. La Petite Acadienne March 16, 2010 at 9:54 am #

    If she didn’t have a child, I wouldn’t give a damn what she does. There are freaks everywhere, and if that’s what she wants to do, I don’t care.

    But she has a child. That changes everything.

    That little girl is dependent upon a mother who is slowly killing herself, and who spends her time feeding her face and running a website where men pay to watch her eat.

    She said she’d be heavier if only she didn’t have to run after her child. First of all, how much running can you really do when you weigh over 600 lbs?

    This is solely speculation on my part, but I somehow doubt she’s outside in the yard running around and playing with her child, bringing her for walks or to the park. And secondly, when she DOES reach her goal weight, she won’t be able to move at all. That little girl will basically have to take care of her mother. And what the hell kind of warped message will she be sending her kid by doing this to herself?

    For the sake of her little girl, she needs to smarten the hell up.

  9. ChaChaHeels March 16, 2010 at 10:44 am #

    Two things, in my mind:

    1. This girl has all the boogey-men: a sexual kink we can’t understand–though, in truth, none of us is comfortable with any sexuality whatsoever (as a culture), plus she’s a Fatty. Fat people having sex! Ewwww! And it’s sex we don’t have any idea what to think about because it’s not what we find sexy! Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!

    2. She’s six hundred pounds now, and not suffering from any of the diseases we’re told we’re all going to get the minute that BMI climbs past 26. Six hundred pounds, but no insidious or necrotic disease. No cancer. No heart attacks or atherosclerosis or implosions. No cravings to eat whole babies, or signs of stroke, or high blood pressure. No diabetes! Maybe not even any “symptoms” of any of these diseases (although none of the news reports included any of them as a way of dismissing her claims of health). So her “taxing the health care coffers” idea is bogus, and I sure wish we’d stop finding ways to blame people when they fall ill of anything.

    What if she got to 1000 pounds, and stubbornly refused to present the apocalyptic signs of death that theoretically follow every fatty? What if she turns out to be 1000 pounds of glowing health and sexual fulfillment? It’s certainly possible.

    All those doctors and “scientists” are going to have to find a way to kill her then.

    Tell me again why what she’s doing matters? Keeping your society healthy costs money no matter what, and everyone’s deserving of that care. This citizen is just as entitled as everyone else. So who cares if she wants to make a world record? How is she harming anyone? If you hate her for being a famewhore, don’t contribute to her fame. But just don’t fall into the trap of judging her for how you think she makes you look to other people.

    This reminds me of the big noise that always follows male figure skaters and “straight looking/straight acting gays”–they want the “outrageous” members of their ranks (what they call the “flaming faggots”) to stop being “so gay” because it makes them all look bad.

    People are going to hate me for being fat no matter how many great articles Kate Harding writes. Fat acceptance isn’t about getting the skinnies to like us: its about liking ourselves for who we are, just as we are, and letting others do the same.

  10. annie March 17, 2010 at 10:54 am #

    Ya don’t like the Drudge Report? Ya probably don’t like Fox news either. You’ve outed yourself as another liberal blogger. Sigh. Too bad.

  11. Plumcake March 17, 2010 at 12:08 pm #

    I don’t like drudge because I’m a newspaperman whose soul hasn’t quite been beaten out of her yet and have a very specific idea as to what constitutes respectable journalism. Drudge isn’t it. I’ve never seen Fox news as I don’t watch TV, so I can’t comment. As for being “another liberal blogger” I really don’t see what my politics have to do with a fashion/humor blog, but if your life is incomplete without knowing my affiliation, I am a filthy, filthy libertarian who doesn’t discuss politics on this blog.

  12. mini_pixie March 17, 2010 at 1:02 pm #

    Miss Plum, while I love you with all the fire my filthy black heart can muster, and I understand that judging people for silly choices is part of the MO here, I have to admit that something about this post had been bothering me in the back of my mind, and I think I’ve put my finger on it:

    Donna Simpson is a “Bad Fatty”. She is the wrong kind of fat. She is fulfilling negative stereotypes. Fatness- your doing it wrong.

    Your 3rd mind seems to feel that way, and I can understand- to a point. But I most agree with Mind 2 – any person should be allowed to make choices that are dumb, as long as they are their own. If she is being coerced to do this, that is another story.

    I know it is another talking point for people who want to dehumanize and reduce fat people to the unhealthy cookie cutter they picture, but she is still allowed to have bodily autonomy. The problem is not with her, but with the people who will use her in this way- and I’m sure you know that.

  13. Plumcake March 17, 2010 at 1:51 pm #

    You’ve hit the nail on the head Mini. I feel the same way which is one of the reasons I couldn’t really come down on one side or the other. I really do feel like people ought to be able to make their own choices about their own bodies (even if that choice is to give up their autonomy) and I’m not saying she shouldn’t be allowed to get as fat as she wants. So if it came down to it, I would always, always put myself on the side of personal freedom.

    And yet, it’s galling.

    Not only do her actions affect me as a run o’ the mill fat person living in a thin person’s world, it affects what I do professionally. This is a fashion and humor blog, but it’s more than that, and I try really hard to strike that balance, but I am also a public figure, and I try to be a good representative of fat acceptance and health at every size.

    It might surprise you (or it might not) to find out a sizable minority, if it still is a minority, of MftBG readers are not plus size. Manolo for the Big Girl is the #1-ranked blog for plus size women and the #31-ranked fashion blog overall, so when I blog, I’m not just preaching to the choir, but am trying to break down preconceived notions about fat people that people might hold and not even know. AND I’m trying to do it in a lighthearted way.

    It’s a tough line to walk and I work really, really hard at it. So when a woman gets a story that millions of people read –and lest we forget, this is also a publicity stunt, her income is from people paying to watch her eat so the more people who know about her, the more money she’ll potentially make– it’s a slap in the face to me professionally, even though she is just trying to make an honest buck, because she is willing to let herself be used to propagate negative stereotypes that I work so hard to fight.

    In a small way it’s like black actors in the pre-civil rights movement era. Of course I’m not saying it’s nearly as difficult to be a fat blogger in 2010 as it was to be a black actress in 1943. But if you were an entertainer, you could make a lot of money playing a maid or a servant and hey, we’ve all gotta eat. But it DID make things harder for actors who refused to play domestic help, like Lena Horne.

  14. mini_pixie March 17, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

    “So if it came down to it, I would always, always put myself on the side of personal freedom.”

    I figured so, you filthy libertarian :)

    I appreciate what you do, really, and I understand where you are coming from. (and btw, I am myself more a forsaken “inbetweenie” than true plus size- darn stores never stocking size 14)

  15. brooklynshoebabe March 17, 2010 at 8:47 pm #

    I’m of mindset 2 although when I first saw the story, I screamed at the tv “You’re making all or other fat people look bad.” Then I had a change of heart. People are always going to look at an overweight or fat person, and think they just sit around and eat all day no matter how many on the contrary proof we give them.

  16. La Petite Acadienne March 17, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    Oh, and just for the record, my comments about her, and what she is doing to her child, would also apply to anybody who by her own actions, is putting herself in a position where a) her child will have to care for her and b) her child will likely not have her mother around into adulthood.

    So whether you’re an anorexic, trying to get to 1000lbs, a heavy smoker with emphysema, a severe alcoholic, or anything else like that, my message remains the same: when you have a kid, it’s not all about you and your wants anymore. And you owe it to your child to do the best you reasonably can to remain healthy enough to attend to their needs and to be around long enough to meet your grandkids.

  17. zuzu March 17, 2010 at 11:51 pm #

    She’s a little like the dog owners who let their dogs take a dump in the middle of the sidewalk and then don’t pick it up. Yeah, it’s not my shit to pick up, and it doesn’t reflect directly on me as a pooper-picker-upper, but it sure does make it difficult to convince, say, the Parks Department to allow off-leash areas in the park.

  18. Maki P June 12, 2010 at 6:05 pm #

    I think it’s sick, mostly her fans, but the whole thing is sick. (I’m a Fat Fetishist with feederist tendencies and I think it’s sick, that should say something).
    What strikes me the most is one thing she said, that she doesn’t buy on the health problems thing. It sounded a bit like “Health At Every Size” gone wrong; I don’t know much about it, but I understand that being doesn’t mean being unhealthy; but morbid obesity is… well it’s not right, the example of an unhealthy lifestyle (Anorexia, being the other example)

  19. Adria Tavolacci July 29, 2010 at 2:08 am #

    Hes a suicide bomber. He planted a bomb then tried to get away but never rode a bike before. LOL