Did you know runners often put Band-Aids over their nipples so as to prevent chafing when they’re doing long runs? It’s true!
The one and only time I’ve ever put bandages (well really electrician tape) over my nipples was when I was a “celebrity” bartender for an Out Youth fundraiser in 2002 and while I’m glad to strip off and tape up for a good cause, any activity that involves the real and present danger of nipple injury is not an activity for me.
That being said, in the Venn diagram of fat chicks and dedicated runners we do overlap when it comes to chafing issues. They have their nipples and God knows what else (the only serious runners I know are a priest and clergy spouse and while I love them both unreservedly, I’m not yet comfortable saying “Hey padre, howzyer nips?”) and big girls?
Big girls have the indignity of chub rub.
Chub rub, for those lucky souls fortunate enough to be in the dark about this extremely unpleasant phenomenon, is when your thighs rub together when you walk, thereby creating enough friction to light a forest fire big enough to do away with California once and for all.
Everyone has their own favorite prophylactic chub rub treatment. I used to use good old Johnson’s baby powder when I was a teenager, but now my heart and thighs belong to the Avenue seamless bike short.
Can we just give it up to the Avenue for a minute? Because their seamless collection rocks, and their long line bike shorts were the best plus-size leggings I found. In fact they were so good the company renamed them.
Anyway, for the best chub rub prevention I like the Avenue seamless bike shorts:
(click images for links)
Generally speaking I prefer the high waist shorts because I’ve got quite a long torso and it just feels more secure, but I certainly have no objections to the short with lower rise. One thing to keep in mind is this is not shapewear, or at least not shapewear in the Hateful Tyranny of Spanx vein. It does create a smooth line under a dress or something more flowy and I wouldn’t wear a white dress or trouser without a pair underneath, but if you’re looking for something to suck you in then you’ll have to go to their “control” line, which is great for what it is, but it’s a little more intense than what I want to do every day. There is also a cotton no-ruffle bloomer I find mighty intriguing.
Of course if you prefer something a little looser there are always pantaletts
(click images for links)
These have those snip-to-fit hems my grandmother used to have on her slips, so you can cut them to your ideal length.
You can even have custom bloomers, knickers, pantaletts and pantaloons MADE for a very reasonable price, in any fabric you want.
Imagine, velvet knickers!
On the more proletarian side of things –of course you pretty much HAVE to be more proletarian than velvet knickers, which btw is my new drag name– are the various gunks and goos designed for athletes:
(click images for links)
I’ve never used these products but I am intrigued. Does anyone have experience with these products (I know there’s a Girls Only version of the stick, but it’s the same thing but with perfume and pink packaging for $5 more)? Do YOU have a handy chub rub secret? Let me know!
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Comment by Strip Clubs AZ — August 9, 2010 @ 9:15 pm