The Sincerest Form of Flattery

It looks like it’s time for me to practice what I preached early last week about how to take a compliment, seeing as it seems I was paid a big one in the sincerest form by both Kate Harding and Jezebel who chose to write about the selfsame relatively unusual subject, mere days after your pal Plummy did. I am truly humbled.

Of course it’s probably a coincidence, like the coincidence that neither the comment I made nor the one from Manolo mentioning this weensy coinkydink made it onto Kate Harding’s site or on Jezebel. Or the coincidence of probable duel site-wide outages that prevented acknowledgment from Jezebel or KH after Manolo’s emails (I believe Manolo wanted to get their input).

Feel free to read both their articles, but if for some reason you feel you’ve had enough on that particular lesson, let me recommend another piece: Ms Harding’s Handy Guide to Not Plagiarizing (language warning there, lambkins.) Apropos of nothing, of course.

17 Responses to “The Sincerest Form of Flattery”

  1. klee April 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

    That was my first thought when I saw the articles yesterday. You’re a trendsetter, Plum.

  2. Cathy April 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm #

    I think Kate’s post was much less close to yours than Jezebel’s- it was certainly on similar themes, but I think it’s Jezebel that was on questionable ground, not Kate.

  3. evilsciencechick April 27, 2010 at 2:03 pm #

    When I saw those, and the lace of credit given, and thought “Hmmmmmmm….”

  4. Anne M April 27, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    Kate’s didn’t seem as close to yours as Jezebel’s, but I sure had a bit of a “oh, isn’t that INTERESTING?” reaction when I read the post on Jezebel crediting Kate Harding. It sure is a small internet, eh?

  5. Sarah April 27, 2010 at 2:30 pm #

    Also noticed that on BOTH of the other blogs, and thought… this is freshly-trod territory, people! At least acknowledge! Shout out! Something!

    Say what you will about accepting a compliment… but those other ladies should know, this is no way to GIVE a compliment.

  6. klee April 27, 2010 at 3:46 pm #

    while on the subject: excuse me if I miscounted, or were there only 4 parts posted in the 5 finishing school lessons?

  7. OTM April 27, 2010 at 4:19 pm #

    Kate was pretty clear that the inspiration for her post was this post at Tiger Beatdown (http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/04/11/boners-for-fun-and-profit-the-extent-to-which-you-dont-care-about-boners-revealed/). She was addressing the negative responses to the Tiger Beatdown post, which was not about the problem that some people have with gracefully accepting comments, but about the fact that women are discouraged from self-acclaim in any form, even when that acclaim is hard earned and well deserved. Kate did use a real-life example of her friend not only accepting a compliment, but also going beyond a mere “thanks” and acknowledging that indeed, she is quite good at what she does. I agree that an inability to accept comments and the pressure for women to undermine their own accomplishments are both symptoms of the same societal pressure that women face to remain modest and effacing at all costs, but I don’t see how this is in any way plagiarism.

    In fact, with all due respect, your post reads as though you’re trying to stir up some internet drama of your own.

  8. Plumcake April 27, 2010 at 4:35 pm #

    @Klee, yes, there will be another final Finishing School lesson this week!

  9. Kate Harding April 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm #

    Hey, Plumcake, in my case, it really was a coincidence. A friend just sent me the link to this post, and I didn’t see the first one. I don’t know what happened with your comment. (All first-time comments go to moderation, so they wouldn’t have appeared immediately, but I never saw yours in the queue. It’s possible the other mod deleted yours, but I’d have to ask.) I just found Manolo’s comment in spam, which means either that it got caught there because the spam filter is finicky, or the other mod sent it there because she found the presumption that I’d ripped off a post I hadn’t actually read annoying. Which, frankly, I wouldn’t blame her for. Though if I’d seen it, I’d have published it and addressed it exactly as I’m doing here.

    So. I am a fan of your work — just not a daily reader — and I think you deserve loads of credit and compliments for what you do. But as has been mentioned upthread, the post I wrote was inspired by one Sady Doyle wrote, which is why I gave her the credit, in keeping with the principles in that plagiarism post you linked to. Now that I’ve read your post about taking a compliment, I do think it’s terrific. But I just saw it for the first time five minutes ago. You can choose to believe that or not, but in light of my long history of linking to the posts that inspire me and clearly stated position on people who don’t, I’d certainly like to think I’ve earned the benefit of the doubt.

  10. Chiken April 27, 2010 at 9:23 pm #

    I love you Plummy, and I read you every day. But it’s not really that unique a topic. I think this was a coincidence.

  11. Plumcake April 28, 2010 at 12:31 am #

    @Kate that certainly makes things a lot clearer. I mean coincidences happen, but when both Manolo and I had commented and they just went away, although other, later commenters went up. It raised the eyebrow. I don’t have a reason to not believe you. So truce. Great minds and all that.

  12. Kate Harding April 28, 2010 at 12:39 am #

    I can see how that would make you raise an eyebrow. The unfortunate truth is, we’re down to two mods at SP, so the mod queue doesn’t get cleared out as quickly as we’d like it to, and I rarely remember to check spam.

  13. Tony April 28, 2010 at 5:24 am #

    Kate was pretty clear that the inspiration for her post was this post at Tiger Beatdown (http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/04/11/boners-for-fun-and-profit-the-extent-to-which-you-dont-care-about-boners-revealed/). She was addressing the negative responses to the Tiger Beatdown post, which was not about the problem that some people have with gracefully accepting comments, but about the fact that women are discouraged from self-acclaim in any form, even when that acclaim is hard earned and well deserved. Kate did use a real-life example of her friend not only accepting a compliment, but also going beyond a mere “thanks” and acknowledging that indeed, she is quite good at what she does. I agree that an inability to accept comments and the pressure for women to undermine their own accomplishments are both symptoms of the same societal pressure that women face to remain modest and effacing at all costs, but I don’t see how this is in any way plagiarism.

    In fact, with all due respect, your post reads as though you’re trying to stir up some internet drama of your own.

  14. evilsciencechick April 28, 2010 at 9:41 am #

    awww….group hug!!!!

  15. raincoaster April 29, 2010 at 2:30 am #

    Gawker had this exact experience a couple of weeks ago with my favorite columnist in the entire world.

    http://lolebrity.net/2010/04/28/marilyn-monroe-plays-keep-away-with-truman-capote/

    Kate; that was gracious.

  16. raincoaster April 29, 2010 at 10:55 pm #

    Eeek, that’ll teach me to post on flu meds. This is the actual link:

    http://gawker.com/5505993/hey-look-a-guardian-columnist-stole-our-justin-bieber-jokes-updated

  17. Jolyn Simpton May 26, 2010 at 3:33 pm #

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