Comments on: The Death of Cute

By: me

me — Sun, 16 May 2010 14:24:51 +0000

Sorry for me the black one says secretary or hopeless middle management. It is conventional, has absolutely no risk or individuality involved, is not elegant or stylish or anything at all, it is just boring. It is a shoe for a person that is going to be forgotten the moment she walks out of the room. The Jimmy Choo has at least its improbable height going for it, it says the woman wearing this shoe will do everything to have things her way.
We are not living in a time anymore, where being conventional gets you anywhere, if you want a career don’t dress to be forgotten or blend into the background, dress as you. In a lot of careers you may very well be the only woman around, you stick out anyway, why not stick out as you.

By: Ai

Ai — Wed, 12 May 2010 23:26:56 +0000

Oh my, i happen to be in that stage of high school where cutesy goes. I wear blazers and cowboy boots but i never get any guys. one of them actually said to me, “Christ, why are you so dressed up!” Sure i wear Mary Janes but a darling little pair of Mary Janes can’t stand up to a pencil skirt, a tuxedo blouse and perpetually threaded Veronica Lake eyebrows! i suppose i should be cute but i like where I’m at. just gotta wait for everyone else to catch up

By: KimKS

KimKS — Tue, 11 May 2010 16:47:00 +0000

I am the Executive Assistant to a pretty important bad ass woman- I make the coffee and I wear stilettos, not because I am forced to but because I like to. I am well educated, well compensated and I pretty much run my office. People see me as the right hand to the CEO and in being her right hand I occasionally have to get the coffee or the pastries, so be it.

I think the respect I get comes from doing my job well. The fact that I look the part also helps.

By: Jana

Jana — Mon, 10 May 2010 22:46:42 +0000

@ The gold digger: It isn’t about the task itself but about the context. If my work group is pulling a late night will we go coffeeless? Of course not. I’ve hauled hauled boxes to help out and set up people’s email when IT was busy. What I’m not going to do is get someone coffee or mail their stuff because they can’t be bothered. Just like you should dress for the job you want, if you act like you have a less impressive position than you do, other people will treat you that way. (I’ve particularly had this problem with older men at work–the fact that I’m a woman does not make me your secretary.) There’s no need to be rude but a simple, “You need those mailed? I’ll mention that to one of the assistants on my way out. I think *87 is their direct line.” works perfectly well to set the record straight.

By: SusanC

SusanC — Mon, 10 May 2010 18:44:48 +0000

What a great comment trail to read through.

Thanks, Plumcake, for continuing to fight the fight against cutesy-wootsy-ness and reminding us that, although we may not like it, dressing like a 2nd grader means one is more likely to be treated like one. I’m sure many of the readers here could even wear those hideous cat birkies and not be asked to make the coffee, but not me. I aim for Hepburn elegance (Katherine, not Audrey) since I’m a college professor, and I need to project authority- both to my male peers and my 100+ students that love to do things like plead to write an extra-credit term paper so they can increase their grade. It’s just easier for me to cast that stern professorial glare of “you just asked me for WHAT?” when I’m not wearing big floral prints, fuzzy-wuzzy cardigans, or anything pastel. Cutesy = pushover in my book.

By: wildflower

wildflower — Mon, 10 May 2010 17:58:40 +0000

Ahhh… Thank you, lucylang and Jana. I stand enlightened.

By: Plumcake

Plumcake — Mon, 10 May 2010 17:55:54 +0000

@Style Spy. No, thank YOU (I’m still not fighting that battle with your momma, though.)

By: Style Spy

Style Spy — Mon, 10 May 2010 17:48:28 +0000

Thank you. Now would you please speak with my mother?

I think some of us may be taking this a tad too literally. Plummie’s general point, if I may be so bold and I almost always am whether or not it’s a good idea, is that grown-up ladies should not wear clothing, shoes, or hair accessories that might be found on your average third-grader. For the nine-squillionth time, sophisticated does not necessarily mean uncomfortable or impractical.

By: The gold digger

The gold digger — Mon, 10 May 2010 13:07:49 +0000

categorically not part of their job description

I’ve never had a job description that didn’t end with the phrase “and other duties as assigned.” Nothing makes me more nuts than to hear someone tell me, “That’s not my job.” Really? Your job is to do what is (legally and ethically) necessary to advance the interests of the organization.

By: Jana

Jana — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:00:16 +0000

@ wildflower: I didn’t take “the one who makes the coffee” as a secretary who isn’t moving up, but rather the type of situation where you have a co-hort of junior professional types. Some of them will shine and move up whereas others just get ignored and asked to do things that are categorically not part of their job description–make coffee, sent out someone else’s mail, etc. Though my particular field also happens to be one that divides heavily between professional men and paraprofessional women. It’s getting better, but I have to put forward extra effort to avoid getting sorted in the wrong professional category strictly because of my gender (in social situations–like going out for lunch).