Welcome to the Humpletter!
The Humpletter is our weekly-as-of-last-week Wednesday sales post. Twistie, having cracked the bottle of champagne over the bow, has returned to her weekend post and will do her own salesthingum on Saturday or Sunday so I’m skippering this salesboat during the week.
So that’s (let me put on my “puke” which is radio-parlance for that really disgusting overly cheerful radio voice normally announcing monster truck rallies) two Two TWO sales roundups a week!
First we’ve got Lane Bryant, who’ve got a ton of things on sale, up to 40% off. I particularly like these twill shorts because they have a bit of a flare to them.
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s shorts with kung-fu fabric deathgrip on my thighs. Plus they remind me a teensy bit of the 1930’s and 40’s sporting shorts –as seen here on Martha Vickers as Carmen in The Big Sleep— without being frilly or costumey.
Cacique has all Cacique bras buy one get one half off. Of course I must recommend my All Time Favorite Bra (also known as my “What seems to be the problem, officer?” bra)
They also have all fashion panties 5 for $29. I love these lace jobbers because they’re dead comfy and sexy enough for visitors. Whenever I entertain a new gentleman caller I get all new lingerie because, well, I don’t reuse wrapping paper for gifts of any variety.
Continue reading Your Weekly Humpletter after the jump!
At the Avenue we’ve got buy one item and get any other item of equal-or-lesser value at 50% using the code AV101087. I’m digging on this Dip Dyed Tunic because it reminds me of those egg yolk flats Prada did a few years ago, plus I like seeing a dark-to-light ombre, it’s quirky. Also? HEAVEN on darker skin tones. Just don’t wear it around me and make me hate you.
With your bogo discount, why not pick up a pair of the Avenue Plus Size Seamless Shaping Hi-Waist Bike Short that are my BFF in chubrub season? I heart them big time.
Over at Torrid they’ve got camis, tube tops and board shorts 2 for $24, but what’s really striking my fancy are these fab stockings and this little vest, which would look fantastic deployed over a short n’ shiny cocktail dress to give it a little edge.
Over at Macy’s, which is probably the best department store in terms of variety for the big girl, we’ve got free shipping on orders over $75 with code DRESSES.
Here’s a quartet of my favorites, all on sale:
The sapphire blue dress from Calvin Klein is beautifully made, and perfect for a summer wedding, but wear it over a breton to take it from pretty and polished to chic-a-la-Gaultier.
I love a ballet neck dress because it’s so unexpected and it does wonders to balance out your hips. I always feel so graceful and lithe (graceful I may be, lithe? Not so much). I’d tie an Hermès scarf gypsy style around the waist if I’m going “casual but still way more fabulous than you’ll ever be” or do a great scarf, brooch or pendant for a more jolie madame look.
This little black and white number reminds me of something a Tennessee Williams heroine –maybe Babydoll?– would wear in a contemporary staging. Particularly nice for apples as it gives the illusion of a waist without really requiring one. Plus it shows off those great gams.
Finally, can you even think of a more perfect dress for the summer’s inevitable Gatsby parties? Beautiful fabric, great cut for a plus-size girl (the 20’s were not historically kind to womanly curves so most of the dropped-waist deals look a mess on us). It’s not costumey in the least, but pair it with a parasol, gloves –crochet if you can find them– and enough pearls to drive Zelda mad(der) and you’ve got a tremendous look.