Welcome to the Humpletter!
The Humpletter is our weekly-as-of-last-week Wednesday sales post. Twistie, having cracked the bottle of champagne over the bow, has returned to her weekend post and will do her own salesthingum on Saturday or Sunday so I’m skippering this salesboat during the week.
So that’s (let me put on my “puke” which is radio-parlance for that really disgusting overly cheerful radio voice normally announcing monster truck rallies) two Two TWO sales roundups a week!
First we’ve got Lane Bryant, who’ve got a ton of things on sale, up to 40% off. I particularly like these twill shorts because they have a bit of a flare to them.
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s shorts with kung-fu fabric deathgrip on my thighs. Plus they remind me a teensy bit of the 1930’s and 40’s sporting shorts –as seen here on Martha Vickers as Carmen in The Big Sleep— without being frilly or costumey.
Cacique has all Cacique bras buy one get one half off. Of course I must recommend my All Time Favorite Bra (also known as my “What seems to be the problem, officer?” bra)
They also have all fashion panties 5 for $29. I love these lace jobbers because they’re dead comfy and sexy enough for visitors. Whenever I entertain a new gentleman caller I get all new lingerie because, well, I don’t reuse wrapping paper for gifts of any variety.
Continue reading Your Weekly Humpletter after the jump!
At the Avenue we’ve got buy one item and get any other item of equal-or-lesser value at 50% using the code AV101087. I’m digging on this Dip Dyed Tunic because it reminds me of those egg yolk flats Prada did a few years ago, plus I like seeing a dark-to-light ombre, it’s quirky. Also? HEAVEN on darker skin tones. Just don’t wear it around me and make me hate you.
With your bogo discount, why not pick up a pair of the Avenue Plus Size Seamless Shaping Hi-Waist Bike Short that are my BFF in chubrub season? I heart them big time.
Over at Torrid they’ve got camis, tube tops and board shorts 2 for $24, but what’s really striking my fancy are these fab stockings and this little vest
, which would look fantastic deployed over a short n’ shiny cocktail dress to give it a little edge.
Over at Macy’s, which is probably the best department store in terms of variety for the big girl, we’ve got free shipping on orders over $75 with code DRESSES.
Here’s a quartet of my favorites, all on sale:
The sapphire blue dress from Calvin Klein is beautifully made, and perfect for a summer wedding, but wear it over a breton to take it from pretty and polished to chic-a-la-Gaultier.
I love a ballet neck dress because it’s so unexpected and it does wonders to balance out your hips. I always feel so graceful and lithe (graceful I may be, lithe? Not so much). I’d tie an Hermès scarf gypsy style around the waist if I’m going “casual but still way more fabulous than you’ll ever be” or do a great scarf, brooch or pendant for a more jolie madame look.
This little black and white number reminds me of something a Tennessee Williams heroine –maybe Babydoll?– would wear in a contemporary staging. Particularly nice for apples as it gives the illusion of a waist without really requiring one. Plus it shows off those great gams.
Finally, can you even think of a more perfect dress for the summer’s inevitable Gatsby parties? Beautiful fabric, great cut for a plus-size girl (the 20’s were not historically kind to womanly curves so most of the dropped-waist deals look a mess on us). It’s not costumey in the least, but pair it with a parasol, gloves –crochet if you can find them– and enough pearls to drive Zelda mad(der) and you’ve got a tremendous look.
so i’m finally gonna buy those bike shorts, no really. but i read the comments on the Avenue site…and some users said buy your regular size, some said buy a size up, some said buy TWO sizes up. uh, help? your opinion?
Comment by marjorie — May 26, 2010 @ 12:22 pm
@Marjorie: If you want it as shapewear, buy your regular size. If you want it as a chafe-preventative only, buy a size up. Two sizes up? Crazytalk, unless you’re between sizes and want your bike shorts to be really really granny panties loose.
Comment by Plumcake — May 26, 2010 @ 12:39 pm
Oh, I have that bra. It rocks in a very big way. I also love Cacique’s balconette bra. It does wonderful things for the girls.
Hey, plumcake, it’s my birthday and since I didn’t get the New Zealand rugby team doing the haka for me this morning to wake me up like I reeeeeeeeally wanted…wanna post some hump-day hotness for me?
Comment by Eilish — May 26, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
@Eilish. Happy birthday! I can’t provide you with your requested hotness today, but I’ll let you pick the Monday Hotness for your birthday! (not Ralph Nader)
Comment by Plumcake — May 26, 2010 @ 1:35 pm
@plumcake No worries. I have no secret Ralph Nader crush. Obviously, I’m a fan of the All Blacks, other than than that–should I email pics?
Comment by Eilish — May 26, 2010 @ 1:54 pm
“Whenever I entertain a new gentleman caller I get all new lingerie because, well, I don’t reuse wrapping paper for gifts of any variety.”
Everyone should go by this philosophy. <3
Comment by Katsu — May 26, 2010 @ 3:44 pm
I own that Calvin Klein dress! Bought it for a Malibu wedding two weeks ago, and wore it with silver latin dance shoes. Did the hair up in a topknot-style bun with flat ironed bangs, and was kind of rocking a fat hipster Audrey Hepburn thing. Which is a thing.
I seriously could not recommend that dress any more, because if I did, then everyone would own it. The silhouette is great – that real 50s-style flared skirt; I’m pear-shaped and long-waisted and it really did look amazing. Plus, it is really that color of blue, which is BLUE.
Comment by Siobhan — May 26, 2010 @ 3:57 pm
@Siobhan I have a shirt-dress that has lines very much like the Calvin you have and I get so many compliments on it everytime I wear it. I’m usually not a shirt-dress fan, but I’m so glad I went out of my comfort zone on it. Darn, I just checked, Lane Bryant doesn’t have it up anymore, otherwise I’d post a link.
Comment by Eilish — May 26, 2010 @ 4:19 pm
OK, google isn’t helping and I must know, what is a breton? I’m assuming you aren’t suggesting I wear a person from a certain region of France.
Looking at Macys’ dress selection reminds me how much I hate hate hate the cap sleeve. You might as well wear a sign that says “look at my big fat arms!” Either go sleeveless or give me an actual, useful sleeve. Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.
Comment by Abby — May 26, 2010 @ 4:32 pm
@Abby, a Breton is the blue and white striped shirt that’s been the uniform for French seamen (hee, seamen) since 1858.
Comment by Plumcake — May 26, 2010 @ 4:58 pm
Oh yes! I feel a bit silly. And I want to buy one instantly for my five year old son.
Re ballet necks, I always think they’re going to make me feel graceful and then they don’t. Perhaps I have slope-y shoulders or something, because it just turns into a bra-strap-showing situation, and that is never good for one’s grace quotient. This goes also for gaping buttons, too much cleavage and that whole “I’ll just wear a wrap and cover up my arms” thing that never works, at least for me.
Comment by Abby — May 26, 2010 @ 5:46 pm
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
Second year in a row hubby destroyed my basic khaki straight skirt. As I Do Not Wear Pants, this skirt is a huge staple of my wardrobe and very hard to find – most are A-line and I don’t want to look like a soccer mom from 1979. Above the knee is even better.
Help????
Comment by Whitney — May 26, 2010 @ 6:06 pm
@Whitney: Talbots?
Comment by Abby — May 26, 2010 @ 6:50 pm
PS hope the destruction was fun!
Comment by Abby — May 26, 2010 @ 6:51 pm
@Whitney: Like this? http://tinyurl.com/3x348k2
Comment by Jana — May 26, 2010 @ 6:56 pm
For the love of God, get the bike shorts, high-waisted or not. If I wasn’t about to go into radio silence for the next 4 days, I’d buy 4 pair.
Comment by ChloeMireille — May 27, 2010 @ 9:53 am
Abby, thank you! I hate cap sleeves too. Cap sleeves remind me of toddler clothes. I *loathe* them. They hit at the least flattering possible place if one has fat upper arms.
Comment by Jezebella — May 27, 2010 @ 10:51 am
@ Abby, neither time not so much fun. Husband is professional illustrator and both time involve splatters of impossible-to-remove-no-matter-what acrylic paint (or in this case the brush water, which is even worse).
Comment by Whitney — May 31, 2010 @ 11:29 am
@ Jana: Just like that, in a size 20-22.
Comment by Whitney — May 31, 2010 @ 11:31 am