I had an Uncle Guido growing up.
Now he wasn’t actually my uncle, nor was he actually Italian, so I have a hard time associating “guido” with anything but a towering wall of Irish muscle who lived across the street and kayaked with my actual –though still not Italian– uncle and married a woman who was given MY ruby earrings right out of my ears, not that I’m still bitter about that twenty four years later, DAD.
(You may say a six year-old has no business wearing ruby earrings, in which case I weep for the depth of your wrongness. I loved those things and have NEVER had a pair since.)
Apparently the old less-than-flattering term has surfaced again from the cast of that show with the little orange girl and the big orange guys. I’m not familiar with the show or its cast, but I do get PR invites to go to parties with them. Yeah. Which incidentally cracked my brother up since I put on my facebook page “What’s a Jwoww and why would I want to go to a party with it?”
I still don’t know the answer to either of those questions.
I DO know, however, that I want to lick these shiny shiny shoes, the “Guido” patent leather drivers from Salvatore Ferragamo:
Also I DEFY you not to be cheery when wearing a shiny pair of red patent leather drivers. It cannot be done.
They’re on sale at Saks so the sizing is limited and getting increasingly so, but they were available in bigfoot sizes last I checked.