Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

June 6, 2010

How Not to Settle a Neighborly Dispute

Filed under: Suck it — Twistie @ 11:23 am

Last night my next door neighbors held a party. They were celebrating a birthday. This is good news in my world. You see, it meant that Mr. Twistie and I were invited to come over and eat homemade posole and flan. It also meant hearing a really great live mariachi band.

Okay, in our neighborhood there is an accepted rule: you can be as loud as you like until ten at night. That’s when live music is supposed to stop. The rule was set decades ago and is recognized by pretty much everyone.

Last night the mariachi band played until (GASP!) 10:01. Yeah, one song bled over by a  minute. Not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

What happened next, though, well and truly smacked my gob into next week. You see, just as the band was taking their final bow and starting to break down, two eggs came hurling over MY fence into the party! Not only was my cat not in the backyard (he’s indoor only), I know he isn’t that good a pitcher. Mr. Twistie and I live alone with said cat, so I know it didn’t come from my house. Nobody at the party thought that we did it, either, what with the fact that I was right there petting the chihuahua and Mr. Twistie was getting details about the band in case he ever needs a mariachi band for any reason… including a possible future party at Casa Twistie. Besides, we’re buds with the family. We wouldn’t hurl eggs at them.

I have my suspicions about who threw the eggs, but I can’t prove anything. I will however tell them here and now to suck it. Suck it for behaving so childishly. Suck it for choosing to involve MY yard in your nastiness. Most of all, suck it for not having the cojones to identify yourselves as the complainers.

If you have a problem with a neighbor that doesn’t involve immediate physical danger to you, have the guts to come over and deal face-to-face. If there’s physical danger involved, call the cops. A party where the band plays one minute over the curfew? Is not a physical danger to anyone.

Oh, and if you simply must take the most immature route, leave my backyard out of it.


  1. Oh, noooo. I would be *beyond* upset that my yard had been used in that attack. I would probably spread the word throughout the neighborhood that I was looking to press charges for trespassing – hopefully instilling some fear into the culprits.

    Ugh. And it just gives me the creeps. Having an unauthorized somebody in my yard is… just ugh. Gives me the heebie jeebies.

    Comment by Meg — June 6, 2010 @ 12:43 pm

  2. Believe me, there is much fuming on my part over this. Unfortunately, there is no direct evidence that anyone actually entered my yard. We are, however, seriously considering putting in a couple of motion-activated lights back there so that if something like this happens again, there will be a clear spotlight on the miscreants.

    Now that would be worth the price of admission!

    Comment by Twistie — June 6, 2010 @ 1:26 pm

  3. OHO!! Twistie! My feathers are thoroughly ruffled on your behalf! What appalling manners.

    Comment by Lisa — June 6, 2010 @ 5:09 pm

  4. That’s not just a breach of etiquette; that’s trespassing! I am galled on your behalf!

    Comment by wildflower — June 6, 2010 @ 9:36 pm

  5. Twistie, motion sensor lights are good just for security purposes, although they didn’t do my neighbors much good yesterday when someone smashed in the window of their minivan at 5:15 p.m. While our across the street neighbors were out working in their yard. Some people are just shameless and mean. Have the guts to deal the problem like an adult. (Says the person who called the city repeatedly on her neighbors because they left their trash can on the sidewalk all the time, which was against city code. Yes, I am ashamed. But notice – calling the city and the subsequent letter from code enforcement did nothing, so why would an appeal from me have been any different?)

    Comment by The gold digger — June 7, 2010 @ 8:53 am

  6. Dang, gold digger! That’s pretty bold to break into a car while people across the street are in clear view!

    As for calling the city on your neighbors’ code violation, at least you called an authority about a clear violation. You didn’t hurl food through someone else’s yard. There’s a difference. Would it have been nicer to talk to them directly first? Sure. Were you within your rights? Absolutely.

    Oh, and update: not only did some douchebag hurl those eggs across my yard into my neighbors’ party, they had lousy aim. At least two eggs hit my side of the fence. How fun is that to clean up? And we didn’t even have the party!

    @wildflower: my guess is that they weren’t actually in my yard when they threw the eggs. At least three people looked over the fence when the first egg grenade hit and didn’t see anyone in my yard. Also with the way they hit my side of the fence… well, I don’t see how anyone could have such crap aim if they were actually in my yard. I would have gotten them across and my arms are made of pure spaghetti. Besides, while this is a suburban paradise, the neighborhood is pretty densely populated and yards are quite close together. I can think of two places from which the launch could have been made… and one of those houses is populated by people far too mature and pleasant to do such a repugnant thing. That includes their teenage daughter, who happens to be one of the nicer people I know.

    Comment by Twistie — June 7, 2010 @ 7:49 pm

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