Hello my little butternuts, how’s every little thing? Yes, it’s time for your weekly humpletter featuring ten new Plumcake-approved tidbits of deliciousness, mostly on sale!
It’s actually a fairly slow week for sales thanks to the swing back from Memorial Day, so we’re doing something a little different. One of the things I hate hate HATE is when people I know copy my personal style –which is pretty specific– just a little too closely. It’s awkward for everyone involved. I’ll never forget that day years ago when I walked into church to find some sweet but terribly misguided Young Thing wearing what can only be described as a Plumcake costume.
In the parlance of my people, “I liketa died.”
That being said, I thought it might be fun –and I invite you all to play along in the comments– to actually CREATE a Plumcake costume using the sales this week. Create your own costume in the comments field, just don’t worry if it takes a few minutes to post. It might get caught in the pending filter.
First up are these Original Ray Ban Wayfarers in dark tortoise shell, on sale at Lord and Taylor using code FRIENDS to take 25% off your entire purchase. I never leave my house without my torties, which are just as cool as the traditional black ones but a bit more sophisticated.
These are timeless timeless timeless and perfect for either sex, so if your father is still wearing those tragiculous Blu-Blockers, why not buy him a pair of Wayfarers? He’ll look like an Italian movie star (white loafers not included.)
And if I’m never without my Wayfarers I’m never ever without my Hermes scarf. In fact, you could probably execute a fairly reputable Plumcake costume with just the scarf and the sunnies, plus a pair of vintage clip ons.
Pictured here is my absolute favorite foulard from my not-inconsiderable collection. It’s called Les Rivieres de Babel and although I have it in the aqua, there is precisely ONE of these available for purchase from Potero (on sale too, it is to weep), so get it quick. It’s the only scarf I’ve ever paid a premium for and the photos simply do NOT do it justice. So pretty. So SO pretty. When a woman d’une certain age showed up fresh off the plane from Paris with it wrapped around her neck, I fell in love and proceeded to hairlip hell until I located one and purchased it with much whimpering of bank account and a month of meal planning that involved the phrase “beans and toast” more often that I typically find ideal. And you know what? Worth. Every. Penny.
And of course one good turn of Hermes deserves another: the Hermes Bolide in brown box calf. Again, there’s only one of them, but it’s at 63% off retail and in great condition. Of course as with all Hermes bags, it is entitled to the legendary spa, where loved bags are buffed, primped and polished back to new. Now in the spirit of full disclosure: I don’t own a Bolide, I have a Birkin which I received as a break up gift (sorta) and have used exactly once, but for all the folderol over the Birkin being il handbag di tutti handbags, I’d kinda rather have the Bolide.
Moving from the screamingly expensive to the cheap and cheerful, I mentioned earlier you could compose a pretty decent Plumcake costume with just the scarf, sunglasses and a pair of vintage clip on earrings.
I couldn’t tell you how many pairs of vintage earbobs I own. Hundreds probably. I might even know where a few of them are (I always carry some sparklies in my purse in case I need to put them on in a flash, and usually a few pair at the office, in the car…wherever)
It is a shameful truth that, like snails leave slime and skunks leave stink, I leave a trail of earrings wherever I roam. I’ve tried to fix it, but to no avail. I almost always find them again eventually, but in case I don’t, I really hate to invest too much.
I’m a sucker for figural earrings, or something with a little hint of whimsy, like these floral ear clips on clearance from La Vintage, which will set you back a measly 17 smackaroos.
These little darlings measure about 3/4″ and are just about exactly what I go for in an earring. Casual but still a little sparkly, charming but not cutesy and pretty enough to draw light but not so spectacular as to draw attention away from my face.
If you’re not in the habit of wearing earrings, give it a shot. I have pierced ears but only wear clip-ons, so I can pull them off or put them on at a moment’s notice. Also, you should always ALWAYS wear earrings when trying on clothing (nothing dangly, please). You’ll be amazed on how much more put together you’ll look, just with a simple pair of bobs.
We all know Miss Plumcake loves some perfume and Monday in the comments, faithful reader Lisa asked for some summer fragrance recommendations (she assures me her Rossy de Palma perfume from Etat Libre de Orange isn’t strong enough to stun a wild ox, but I’m not so sure, that’s some potent juice).
The problem is, most of the perfume I wear isn’t readily available online, or at least not conveniently.
An exception is my beloved Diptyque L’Ombre dans l’Eau, a lovely blackcurrent leaf bomb with a hint of early morning rose. It’s light and green enough for summer, but it’s not just some one-note cologne. I keep a bottle of it in my glovebox (note: this is bad for your perfume, don’t do this at home) to spritz when I need a refresher.
It’s not overly complex, but you know, you don’t need a ballgown and furs every day, sometimes a linen dress will do.
It doesn’t wrinkle nearly as badly as most people seem to think, and when it does crumple, it looks elegant, not messy. I’ve been positively living in this dress from J Jones New York for the past few weeks. If you wanted to come up with a standard Plumcake Dress, you couldn’t get much more perfect than this (okay, the neck would be a little deeper and there would be sleeves, but I wear a little white cardi and call it a day).
Most of my linen is lined, but this isn’t so I always wear a slip. Honestly I wear a slip most of the time anyway. It keeps me cooler in the summer and warm in the winter, plus I like knowing when The Archbishop of my Pants finally whisks me away to Canterbury at a moment’s notice, at least I’ll be dressed for entertaining.
I’m particularly liking this coral chemise from Torrid, which is a steal at $28. I think I’m going to go back and order a few more in black.
And while we’re on the subject of underthings, let me come clean once and for all: I wear granny panties.
You can keep your thongs and your creatively cut tangas, you will pry the granny pants off my cold dead backside, which will be challenging because I fully expect several beefy men to have thrown themselves on my dead but still lovely corpse in grief.
Besides, I think a nice nude or black full coverage brief in either a solid or lace is WAY sexier than those embarrassing striped and polkadotted novelty britches that look like granimals for grownups. PLUS I spend most of my waking life (okay SOME of my waking life) suffering for the sake of beauty and I draw the line at walking around with something that uncomfortable lodged in my intimate person without at least getting dinner first.
These are by far my favorite undies on the planet. The seamless brief from Lane Bryant, normally $15 each they’re 3 for $29 right now. I drove from Austin to the Grand Canyon in these (well, two pair, it took two days) and nary a chafe or wedge in sight. I always keep a spare pair in my car because, like the good scout I am, I’m always prepared.
Umbrellas, like cars, just aren’t as cool now as they were way back when.
I’d picked up a few here and there for years, but it wasn’t until I was first in London tooling around the City that I realized how chic an umbrella could be. All these gorgeous silver foxes with their stiff upper lips and tightly wrapped umbrellas. It made the knees quiver.
Unfortunately, I’ve never had the expendable dosh to walk into James Smith and have a silver banded whangee cane fit-up made especially for me, or the legendary Brigg No. 92 with a flask in the handle that will set a girl back close to a grand, but I do require my bumbershoots to have at least a certain element of panache. A cheap and cheerful alternative is this charming lady’s umbrella. I’ll never understand why people don’t put a little more thought into their umbrellas. I mean, either they’re boring old Totes or embarrassingly cutesy. But when do you need a dash of charm more than when you’re walking in the rain? I particularly like a lighter colored parpluie for spring and summer showers. It can do double duty as a parasol for a picnic or when your beloved is rowing you across a limpid pool while you read Byron. People still do that, right?
FINALLY you can’t have a Plumcake costume without a truly fabulous pair of shoes, preferably with an almond toe, small platform, elegant heel, timelessly styled and –if you want to tease me because I don’t own a single item of pink clothing and only two sets of black shoes but about 10 pairs of pink shoes– they ought to be pink.
I am crazy for these “Taro” heels from Brian Atwoods and while I didn’t pay the retail of $725 for them, I paid a heck of a lot more than what you’d pay for them now that they’re on major sale at Bluefly. NOT THAT I’M BITTER, BLUEFLY. But they matched my criteria: they had to be stylish in the 40’s, 70’s and today. These are “sixty year shoes” and
So that’s it, ten easy steps to the perfect Plumcake costume. I want to know what I would need to dress in YOUR costume, so be sure to tell me in the comments!