Yeah, I can’t resist the opportunity to make a Stevie Nicks reference. So sue me. What brings her song to my mind today?
Today makes seventeen years since I married Mr. Twistie.
Has it all been roses? Well, roses have thorns and life isn’t perfect, so yes, in a funny way it has been. As with roses, the difficulties we have faced haven’t outweighed the beauty or the charm of our love and our lives. Given the option, I would absolutely marry him all over again. Given the chance, I would marry him every single day.
What does this have to do with being a Big Girl?
We are told every day in every way that being larger than average means we are unloveable. If we just lost weight, we could find love, you know. After all, who could love someone who is fat? Who could love a woman who stands tall or talks loudly?
And yet every day many of us stand in stark defiance of this assumption by having loving relationships with life partners who adore us. We have lovers and spouses and booty calls, depending on our circumstances and preferences.
Does everyone get the brass ring? No. Does everyone even want it? Again, no. Does everyone who is thin get true love by default? Hardly.
It’s not about dress size. It’s not about height. It’s not about toeing the societally acceptable gender line. It’s about the choice to look, the luck to find the right person (and I don’t give a fig whether that person has opposing or matching genitals), and the courage to take a chance on that right person, should you find him or her.
Will you find the sort of love I have? I can’t tell. There’s simply no way to know. It’s a crap shoot at best. But I do know one thing: if you let your packaging stand in the way, you definitely won’t.
If you’re looking for love, the best advice I can give you is to be unapologetically you. After all, you want someone to love you for who you are. Let people know who that is, and you have a much better chance of finding the person who will delight in you the way Mr. Twistie and I delight in one another.