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Shoe Month! Why Plumcake’s Dad Didn’t Get That Bottle of Scotch for Father’s Day | Manolo for the Big Girl

Shoe Month! Why Plumcake’s Dad Didn’t Get That Bottle of Scotch for Father’s Day

Oh I’m so mad. I…I…GRRRRR.

We all know how I love snakeskin shoes because they wear forever and stand up to a lot of abuse and also snakes are all bastards who must die, not that I am at all scarred from that time my dad took me over to his bff’s house as a kid, and that bff also happened to be the head herpetologist guy or something for the National Zoo and had snakes all over the place INCLUDING A FREAKIN’ COBRA because sane people totally keep FREAKIN’ COBRAS in their HOUSE and think nothing of lifting up a little girl to eye level and taptaptapping the glass trying to get the aforementioned FREAKIN’ COBRA to display its hood BUT THEN INSTEAD IT STRIKES THE GLASS 2 INCHES FROM MY FACE, DAD.

<deep breath>

And that, dear readers, is why my father needs to count his lucky stars that his Korean child bride and NOT his permanently traumatized daughter, will be choosing his eventual nursing home.

Where was I?

Right, shoes.

A few months ago I bought these Brian Atwoods, even though they’re totally not “me” I tried them on and they look a.maz.ing. on the leg. Seriously.

and now, NOW they have these:

and these are BETTER, and they’re snake! AND they’re like…a THIRD of what my Atwoods retailed for at almost 60% off regular retail.

Plus they’re from Elie Tahari so I’m glad to toss them a little extra cash in appreciation for finally FINALLY offering a plus size line last year.

13 Responses to “Shoe Month! Why Plumcake’s Dad Didn’t Get That Bottle of Scotch for Father’s Day”

  1. madame suggia June 22, 2010 at 8:57 am #

    AFAIC, the only sensible use for reptiles is accessories. Shoes, bags, belts, luggage. And these are GORGEOUS!

  2. Astra June 22, 2010 at 11:04 am #

    My great fear (meeting up with a rattlesnake while mountain biking) finally took place and I think I handled it with aplomb. Certainly, the adrenaline rush took me along the next mile or two at a brisk pace. Unfortunately, my great fear has now morphed into a new one: that I will meet a rattlesnake while slowly climbing up a narrow singletrack and, once having seen it, will promptly scream and fall over right onto said snake. Well, hopefully this one will not come true.

    Those purple shoes have no place in my current lifestyle which is a shame because they totally rock.

  3. dcsurfergirl June 22, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    Great shoes!

    I hope you feel better after sharing the snake episode!

  4. Plum-kin June 22, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    How could one ever forget your encounter with “Cathy”? Alex, (our fathers bff) was not just a herpatologist though. The reason he had the cobra, along with the plethora of other nasty, extremely venemous critters, was that he was at NIH doing neurotoxin research for alzheimers and such. Snake skin make pretty cool fashion items. As the bleeding heart animal lover I am, I must say MOST (non-venomous) snakes make great pets!!! But, I’ll still let you turn my python into a belt once she passes. Love you Sis!

  5. Plumcake June 22, 2010 at 2:06 pm #

    @Plum-kin, Ladies and gentleman, my brother! I didn’t know Alex was doing neurotoxin research, I just though he was, you know, a creepy dude with snakes. Not that they’re mutually exclusive! Love you too, Kiddio!

  6. gemdiva June 22, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    @ madame suggia a friend of mine posted on FB that she had a snake in her aprtment (which has now gone missing, the snake not the apartment) I asked her how big it was and recommended that when she found it she should consider turning it into shoes a bag or a wallet depending on the size. Great minds & all that :-)

  7. madame suggia June 22, 2010 at 3:21 pm #

    @gemdiva well let’s be honest here…if the snake will go around your waist with a little left over, you just add a buckle and you’ve got tourself a snazzy belt. Once the snake has…ahem..shuffled off this mortal coil, of course…

  8. Jeni June 22, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

    OK, I’m going to have to agree with Plumcake’s brother on this one. Some snakes make pretty cool pets. I should note that I am the daughter of a zookeeper so I have literally grown up eating breakfast with them in my lap*. I’m kind of use to them by now.

    * Its not a scary as it sounds. The snake was in a snake bag and he was a docent snake…besides, it was winter and he was cold! Someone had to keep the little (OK big) bugger warm!

    Also- Shhh, don’t tell my mother but the snake skin shoes are pretty fab!

  9. raincoaster June 23, 2010 at 7:20 am #

    If you watch the first Indiana Jones movie you can see, when he falls into the pit of snakes, the cobra spit on the glass between him and the cobra. Go on, I’ll wait while you queue up the DVD.

  10. ChaChaheels June 23, 2010 at 9:06 am #

    As a kid I was a bit too fascinated with snakes, mostly because of the patterns of colour on their skins. I still am. But if I had had someone hold me up to a cobra in a glass box and the cobra struck out at me, I’d have been traumatized too. Probably enough to stop being fascinated with snakes. Probably more than enough to want them all made into some chic accessory.

  11. Nicole July 1, 2010 at 2:17 pm #

    Now imagine being the daughter of said insane herpetologist and growing up with him trying to convince you of how genuinely harmless those cobras and rattlesnakes he has in the basement are. You come to learn to avoid any animal in a cage very, very quickly and learn to endure your father’s introduction of his python to your bed because “he wanted to meet you!”. The cobra was at least a nice little thing. The copperhead was the real evil snake; he actually attempted to get out of his cage numerous times.

  12. Plumcake July 1, 2010 at 3:45 pm #

    @Nicole: You aren’t Alex’s daughter are you? I didn’t know he had kids! And was there or was there not an alligator just walking around.

  13. Nicole July 1, 2010 at 9:43 pm #

    There was a real alligator that would just walk around! It liked to sleep under his bed. It was an odd one too, liked most people actually. And yes I am alex’s daughter! Living with him has always been an interesting experience in and of itself. The snakes were always interesting and sometimes the other things were even weirder (baby tarantulas as pets for your 6 year old, good idea). It was always fun at least.