The Big Question: Fat Girl Walking
Okay, let’s say the Feds have finally caught on to your life of crime –you’ve been going on a killing spree, shooting in cold blood every person who says “You have such a pretty face” and then sighs heavily looking at the rest of your body– and you’re sentenced to sit in Ol’ Sparky at the state courthouse bright and early tomorrow morning:
What’s your last meal?
I honestly don’t know what mine would be, because all the great meals I’ve had that I’d want to recreate –the Snug Harbor at Fred’s in Annapolis, where my grandparents and I would go as a special treat, the incredible Taverna burger with Greek-seasoned fries at Dave’s Taverna in my little college town, the eggs over easy at Cafe Edison in Times Square the morning after Andre proposed– wouldn’t be much of anything without the company. It would be edible nostalgia, and for the most part, food nostalgia is lost on me.
I’m not Proustian by nature and if someone slipped me a madeleine I’d be all “delicious! Can I have twelve more to go and a cup of tea please? Cream no sugar. I’ve got to get back to work.”
So I suppose I’d go with toast. I’m always happy to have toast. Toast and jam, toast and butter, cheese toast, shrimp toast, toast with cream cheese and preserves. Toast with runny egg. Anything except Marmite.
What about you?
A steak (mid-rare), a bowl of fresh fruit, a cup of good coffee (cream, two sugars), a Guinness, mac & cheese shells, brussels sprouts, and a glass of port to finish it off.
Skyline casserole. It’s a custom creation by my husband and is heavily reliant on the local specialty, Cincinnati-style chili. Normally said chili is served over spaghetti or a hot dog, with heaps of cheese on top and optionally onions and kidney beans. My husband’s stroke of genius was to make it casserole style with spaghetti on bottom, Cincinnati chili poured on that, chopped up hot dog scattered over that, cheese layered thickly on top, and the whole thing baked until the cheese is a little bit burnt. It’s the ultimate combination of comfort and filling and indulgence and hubbylove, and is easily the last food I’d choose to have pass my lips.
For years I thought I’d have a big plate of beans and rice and half a bottle of Cazadores tequila. But now, I’m not so sure. When I try to conjure a meal, I fail. I can only choose this and that, from times and places very far apart. A cauliflower puree scented with white truffle oil. Foie gras. About eight gin martinis. But also a rhubarb martini that I have only in the spring, macerated from my dad’s rhubarb. Sugar snap peas and baby beets in the spring, too. Tres leches cake, Mr. Hendricks’ favorite (he’d be so disappointed, but not surprised, that I was facing the chair). Champagne. Then maybe one each lychee, mango, and nectarine.
Somehow this has made me sadder than it have ought to. I think I’m mourning the loss of cooking at home for the two of us. We have some big life changes ahead of us in these coming weeks, and, big surprise, I’m very worried about how and what we’ll eat. Silly, isn’t it?
A giant plate of cheese (cheddars, brie, munster, etc.) and a giant chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream. I’m a simple girl.
Burger and fries. Definitely.
Too many things to consider. Chiles rellenos! So amazing. A pile of chiles rellenos and fresh pico, and guac. Or maybe just a fresh tomato salad with all of the amazing heirlooms I grow in my garden, picked and rinsed seconds before they got chopped up with some slightly stale, garlic-studded bread and parsley and olive oil. Or latkes with sour cream and applesauce and scallions. Or crispy chili duck with kale chips from Siam Square. Or my fiance’s amazing gumbo— I did not know an Indian kid from Jersey could make acceptable gumbo, but it beats anything I had in my years living in the south. Or pani puri— pani puri and samosas with lamb and peas.
This is really hard.
Roast lamb that’s been marinated in lemon, olive oil, garlic, sea salt, and fresh oregano. Medium rare.
Roasted new potatoes that sat under the lamb when it was roasting and absorbed all the salty lemony lamby garlicky goodness.
Sauteed spinach.
An ice-cold dry white wine to wash it down with.
Coffee with cream and sugar and my mom’s strawberry shortcake for dessert (biscuit, sliced strawberries, homemade whipped cream).
@Mrs. Hendricks: Nothing silly about that. I’ll be sending good thoughts for good yumminess your way.
As for me, a lot of it would depend on the time of year. If it were to be right around now, I think I would want lots of good berries (straw, rasp, blue, etc.) in half-and-half, a bowl of my dill pickle soup, one perfect lamb chop well seasoned with garlic and rosemary, and some Schwepp’s Bitter Lemon to drink. You can’t get it anywhere I know of in America anymore, but I adore the stuff.
Ask me at another time of year, and chances are my choices would change drastically.
Karen, would you share that recipe with us? I lived in Cincy for five months shortly after college and fell in love with Skyline Chili. I have not had it in over 20 years. The Joy of Cooking’s recipe for it IS NOT LIKE SKYLINE’S, Ethan Rombauer who took over from his mother. I don’t care what he says.
A baked potato with loads of butter, cheese and bacon bits, a loaf of bread still hot from the oven, more butter, peach cobbler with Blue Bell Vanilla ice cream and a bottle of merlot – cause I’d be all about the comfort food and getting in as many carbs as I could before they put the extender belt to fit me in ole Sparky
Prime rib, so rare it could get up and walk away — I’m a total carnivore — a big plate of really good french fries, a six-pack of Dos Equis (yes, the ads are stupid, but it’s still good beer), and a hot fudge sundae. In the last hours of my life, I refuse to eat my veggies!
(But get a couple of fat broads on that jury, and they’ll never convict me!)
Pizza. The Applewood Inn in Los Altos, CA makes a fabulous pizza with smoked salmon and a dill cream sauce, and they have the greatest crust. So, a big pizza from them and my own side salad of cucumbers, tomatoes, avocado, and balsamic vinaigrette. A berry fruit salad (raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries) and caramel ice cream for dessert. And probably a lot of beer.
eggs benedict i think
On the menu would certainly be 5-spice dusted seared foie gras paired with a glass of Sauternes. That was one of the most memorable dishes (or pairings) I’ve ever had, sadly never to be revisited as that restaurant is long closed.
Brussel sprouts? Really? Do you dig that bitter flavor, or do you know a really good way to cook them? I buy them because I like the idea of them… cute little cabbages! But then I only eat them with reluctance.
If I’ve got a date with destiny, I am definitely ordering the lobster.
A hamburger that has been grilled over an open flame outside, with all the fixings. My mom’s fruit salad (apples, bananas, walnuts, mayo and sugar). My mom’s potato salad (longer recipe but it also involves mayo). A tall glass of fresh squeezed lemonade (nothing out of a can, thank you very much) or really good ice tea with a couple of mint leaves. Chilled watermelon for dessert.
@Twistie: Thanks, you’re a doll.
@Mifty: I adore “The Most Interesting Man In The World,” I can’t help it!
@wildflower: I’ll bet you’ll get a lot of ideas for Brussels sprouts, but I like to roast them in a very hot oven (400 or 425 degrees) with some olive oil, salt and pepper for, I don’t know, twenty or thirty minutes. Keep your eye on them. They will caramelize a little bit, and they are delicious. I also roast asparagus this way, too.
A couple of bean-and-cheese tacos from Taco Cabana with Salsa Fuego (I MISS TEXAS Y’ALL), my Great-Aunt Thelma’s country-style baked macaroni & cheese, some fresh strawberries & cream, and chocolate mousse from that one restaurant in Paris my mom and I went to that I can never remember the name of but ohmigod the chocolate mousse will bring you to your KNEES.
Chicken & Dumplings, just bring me the whole pot.
Chicken Vienna (cutlets with mustard on them then breaded and fried and served with crispy fried onions and cognac sauce), rice, salad, and that bread pudding from Minella’s Mainline Diner in Wayne, PA. Champagne to drink. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD
(Whenever I eat particularly fast, my father asks me if I’m going to be executed tomorrow)
I’d probably go for: goat vindaloo (HOT), basmati rice, fresh baked naan and a samosa. Oh and a nice big frosty glass of mango lassi! YUM!!!
I have lived in H-burg for a year and I have yet to go to Dave’s Taverna (and they even deliver!). I keep hearing how good the food is I just haven’t gone, I suck.
A Frogmore stew for sure. Succulent crabs and shrimp mixed with corn on the cobb and small red potatoes in a savory sauce. Add a ice cold Corona with lime and Im in heaven. Or….my highbrow meal…cashew covered grouper in a champagne sauce finished off with a creme brulee at Ansens in Charleston. Oh my word am I hungry now!!!
Mrs. Hendricks… that sounds delicious! I wonder if you could also skewer them and grill them. But I’ll definitely be trying that. Thanks! :)
Do convicts on Death Row actually get whatever they want, for real? I had wondered whether that was an urban legend, and if there were limits. I mean, they couldn’t have foie gras with lobster and caviar and a $500 bottle of wine, could they?
A vahlrona dark chocolate soufflé, with a chocolate fondue and chocolate. Now that really would be “death by chocolate”
My mother’s beef stroganoff – the way she made it when I was a kid, with scratch egg noodles and everything and not all the shortcuts she takes now that she’s getting a bit up there and arthritis, etc., is getting in the way. Mushrooms and onions in a sea of beefy, sour-creamy bliss.
And if I can’t get that I’ll settle for the world’s largest dry-aged Delmonico steak, 1″ thick please, medium rare, maitre d’hotel butter and don’t bother with the sides beyond bread.
Wildflower, another great way to cook brussels sprouts (and quicker, too) is:
Take a heavy skillet and put in a good glop of olive oil (the type to sautee in..) and as much garlic as you can stand (I start with two big cloves and go up from there).
Cook on low until soft.
Meanwhile, wash, trim off the bottoms and split vertically in half, as many b-sprouts as you want (in our house, serving is 5 sprouts each, but your mileage may vary).
Raise the heat in the skillet and place the sprouts cut side down, sautee until they start to brown (you may have to adjust your heat as you go….burned sprouts are NO FUN). Stir around, pour in liquid of choice (stock, water, white wine, whatever), cover and steam for 5 minutes. Drain and serve.
My son asks for seconds on this so it has to be pretty likeable.
Mine would be a big bowl of mussels in white wine to start, followed by a medium rare hamburger, corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes from the garden w/ salt and pepper (I’ll need to be executed in July, obviously), baguette & butter. Dessert will have to be my Mom’s apple pie, and to wash it all down I’ll get a whole bottle of Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame all to myself.
John Maynard Keynes’s last words were “I should have drunk more champagne”. Mine won’t be.
@Jennifer: I hope those won’t be my last words, but I fear they may.
@wildflower: Great idea! I’d blanch those babies, first though: Brussels sprouts take awhile to cook through.
I want a bowl of Great Nanny’s chicken soup, her fried turnip greens, ribs, a bowl of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream, and a big slice of juicy, ripe watermelon.
Chicken soup as made by my sister + Asian fresh fruit salad with peanut butter sauce, a bottle of Zinfandel, some crusty bread. And my young man.
@ wildlflower–last meals are constrained us usually in cost and by what is available and policy. Wardens tend to have discretion. And the availability thing is a big constant. Lots of facilities are in places where the best you are going get is carls jr or the HyVee deli. In some places your familh can bring what you want.
I have no idea. I think I’d make twistie cook for me and plummy make a cocktail for me and manolo read poetry to me.
My last meal would start with this pizza I saw on the Travel Channel. It’s $1,000, and it’s a 12″ pie with creme fraiche, lobster, and 4 kinds of caviar. No red sauce.
Then, I’d ask for the best medium-rare ribeye that money can buy with a side of creamed spinach and a basket of rolls from Ryan’s buffet.
For dessert, I’d ask for caramel apple cheesecake. Mind you, I fully expect an appropriate wine to accompany each course.
I would want the 10 Course Omakasa from Morimoto’s in Philadelphia, with the beverage pairing. OMG, Better then all but the best Sex…
If I could not have that, Give me the best rib eye, scorched a perfect rare over an open fire, paired with steak fries and bread and a mess of grilled asparagus. As an Appetizer I’d like stuffed mushrooms, I’ll take the cheese plate and a strawberry shortcake, or angle food cake, and the appropriate wine pairings followed by a bottle of Chrystal.
Or really good bread, excellent butter and raspberry jam and some cafe con leche, and some Jamon de Serrano and heirloom tomatoes.
Or, Huevos Rancheros Christmas style with hash browns from Tia Sofias in Santa Fe.
And Chloe- I will now have dreams about Ryans Buffet Rolls. When I was in college there was a Ryans right across the street, we would go there between our 2:00 PM and 4:00 Pm Classes and gorge ourselves on their rolls and sweet tea. So very, very good.
** Cristal- cannot type.
None of us have mentioned breakfast at Brennans in New Orleans. Each of the four courses comes with wine and the to die for chocolate cake is the perfect breakfast ending. This is a waddle away from the table meal!
Lisa, thanks for the response. Wikipedia doesn’t actually address the issue, can you believe it? I thought wikipedia knew everything!
Toby, that’s a great idea… I’m surprised it had never crossed my mind since that’s how my family cooked the majority of our veggies when I was growing up.
And Mrs. Hendricks, thanks for the tip. :)
And just to contribute to the OP, I’d probably have the cheesiest lasagna ever. In fact, who needs pasta? Just melt mozzarella and marinara. Actually, who needs marinara? Just melt mozzarella! I’ll eat that straight up.
mmmmm…mr. gamma’s prime rib (medium rare), mashed potatoes, steamed asparagus with hollandaise, soft homemade rolls, and mr gamma’s once-a-year homemade trifle–layers of fruit, custard, lemon pound cake, and syrups, topped with whipped cream. And work some great chocolate in there somewhere. And a bottomless Dr Pepper.
On second thought, just bring the whole trifle. The execution would then be unnecessary, and it would save the state a bundle.
@Gamma (are you so glad you amma?) That makes me think of my own grandfather’s Hollandaise with steamed broccoli. One of my earliest and happiest food memories.
@Peaches excellent call re: New Orleans. I’d still probably just have a cup of cafe au lait made with Community coffee (with chicory, mais bien sur) and all the Cafe du Monde beignets I could eat and I would make a bet with the governor that if I could eat a beignet without getting powdered sugar on me, my execution will be pardoned.
@KimKS: Mmm, ribeyes. I actually had pretty much that exact meal on Tuesday because well…it was Tuesday!
@ChloeMireille: Caramel apple cheesecake? I am intrigued. It sounds absolutely revolting which means it’s probably delish. If you ever come to Austin, the jalapeno creamed spinach at Hoover’s Home Cooking will make you weep tears of high cholesterol joy.
@Lisa: How fun! What would be your last cocktail? I want to start perfecting my recipes now!
@Retna: Fresh fruit salad with peanut butter sauce? Please to explain. I think I might be a Philistine when it comes to sauces for fruit salads, but I have a Deep and Meaningful Relationship with peanut butter and fruit so this might be right up my alley.
@Melissa, I am ashamed to be a Texan who has no love for Blue Bell. It tastes gummy to me, always has. Watermelon though…mmm. I am DETERMINED someone will make me a watermelon shark for my birthday this year.
@Jennifer: yours is my very favorite so far! I love love LOVE every.single.thing. you wrote. In fact (your mom’s pie notwithstanding) I think that’s what I’ll have for dinner tonight.
@Klee. Wow. That’s a lotta chocolate.
@Jeni, GO NOW. Siiiigh, of course I was there when the earth was still cooling and the university only had one building on the other side of the highway. The fries are The Best In The World.
@Peaches: sign me up! Having spent much of my happiest time at my grandparents’ estate in Annapolis, I love soft shell Atlantic blue crabs more than I love almost anything but Jesus and …no, that’s it.
@Whitney: I regret to tell you that beautiful tableau was ruined for me because I cannot see the word “stroganoff” and NOT read it “strokin’ off”
Plumcake, I’m an Austinite who can’t stand Amy’s Ice Cream, in any flavor. It tastes like Crisco to me. So I feel your pain.
@Wildflower: I am a Brussels sprouts fiend now that I’ve actually learned to cook them. I buy the most petite fresh sprouts I can find, most no bigger around than a quarter. I cut them in half lengthwise if they’re biggish, otherwise I just cut off the base and any rough-looking outer leaves and toss them in olive oil and/or the fat from one piece of bacon. Then I grind a ton of salt and pepper (or a seasoning mix) and roast those little bastards on a foil-covered pan in the toaster oven about 10 or 15 minutes until they’re caramelized and a little blackened. Squeeze o’ lemon and crumble the piece of bacon on top.
Sometimes if I can only get the big Stalinist sprouts, I shred them in the food processor and fry it up with bacon and shredded apples, plus salt, pepper, garlic etc.
@wildflower–I have this information as my husband once researched it for a book he was working on. The various dribs and drabs of stories from different facilities are interesting. In some places, you get nothing. In others, the warden tries to provide a bit of comfort. Anecdotally, favorites in include milkshakes/hamburger/fries combo, KFC, and root beer.
@Plumcake I’d like a nice, not too-sweet just right mint julep in the summer and something dark and mysterious for the winter.
I’ve been thinking about the toast issue, and I have to agree with Plumcake about the utter wonderful greatness of toast. Only I do like Marmite, but not enough for my last meal. I like that Chocolahagel Puur stuff. YUM.
@Plumcake, why is it whenever you and I discuss food it always gets a li’l (or a lot) blue? Remind me not to bring up my fondness for Rocky Mountain Oysters…
Thanks, Plumcake! That sounds delicious!
As long as we have people talkin’ about brussel sprouts, does anyone recall the book that this scene comes from? I think I read it maybe within the last year, but I read so much I can’t recall which book, and it’s driving me nuts! The scene is, beloved brother comes to visit parental abode. Beloved sisters all greet him, and there is genuine affection, though they are a bit stiff. As they fuss over him, the brother announces that he’s learned the BEST way ever to make brussel sprouts, and one sister (I think our narrator) scribbles it down. He goes into a long, detailed description, and it does sound quite good. Along the lines of, slice them with shreds of ginger no wider than 1.6 mm, put just one or two spritzes of lemon juice, and an eensy bit of soy sauce, toast at exactly 324 degrees for 9 or 9.5 minutes, etc, etc. And all this time the ladies are fussing over him. After two or so pages, he says, “Now, this it he most important part… Lift of the whole pan… and toss it out into the yard!” And they all crack up. Does this scene sound familiar to anyone?
Really good mashed potatoes with lots of butter. Fritos with guacamole and sour cream. Rhubarb cobbler with vanilla ice cream. And a really great blue chese with a great red wine, because screw migraines, I’ll be dead anyway! Whee!
I really like roasting my brussel sprouts surrounding a whole chicken I have slathered in butter and garlic. That always seems to come out well.
My last meal would involve crawfish from Hot and Juicy in NV (seriously, seriously the best sauce ever…EVER). I’d also like a bottle of Raspberry Clearly Canadian, a ridiculously large hunk of my moms lasagne (before she found out about ricotta cheese and only dwelled in the land of mozzarella), and Limoncello flavored gelato. Throw in a cream filled chocolate glazed donut from Buehler’s circa 1985 and and a gin soaked glass of sparkling lemonade and I’m all but happy to meet my fate.
@KimKS– I live in Houston. The closest Ryan’s to my house is 27.5 miles away. I still have dreams about the rolls.
@Plumcake– Caramel apple cheesecake is much better than it sounds, depending on your feelings concerning the marriage of cheesecake and apple pie filling. I’ve had a really good one before, but it was at a small operation that no longer exists. The only adequate mainstream substitute (for a given value of adequate) is at the Cheesecake Factory.
Also, if I ever go to Austin, I will bear that restaurant in mind.