So remember how on Monday I said I was ALMOST finished talking about World Cup? That’s because I wanted to wait until today to go out with a bang. See, today is English referee (and South Yorkshire police sergeant) Howard Webb‘s birthday. He called the World Cup Final between the Dutch (ptui ptui) and the Spanish.
It is also my birthday, which marks 31 glorious years of Plumcakedom and the beginning of the feast of Plumcakemas, a month-long liturgical season wherein pretty much everyone has to be nice to me and buy me drinks because those are the rules I, uh, made up in my head.
Which brings me to my Birthday List.
I am surprisingly unmercenary when it comes to birthday boums, and though I am grateful for the birthday presents I get, I don’t really yearn for them as a rule.
This year it’s different. I’ve been yearning in a big way and here is my list of requests:
3) “You Really Got a Hold On Me” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles, played with lots of pedal on a big pipe organ just for me
Oh c’mon pleeeeeeease? It’s not weird or anything. It’s just, uh, one grown adult rubbing a pat of butter onto another adult’s shiny shiny melon just to see what it’d be like. I promise I’d go organic. And you don’t have to LIKE it, but please? It’s my birthday too, you know. Just this once?
Aww thanks Sarge, you’re a pal.