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July 22, 2010

The Hot Boy Speaks

Filed under: Dating — Miss Plumcake @ 3:31 pm

“It takes me more time to explain to a bigger girl why I like her than it does for me to hook up with a skinny chick.”

This from a friend who wouldn’t be remotely out of place in a Calvin Klein underwear billboard and whose preference is for bigger women.

He went on to explain that big girls often don’t believe he’s interested, or suspect he’s up to something. Now I don’t want to belabor the whole self-worth is tied to the men you can attract nonsense, because that way madness lies, but I do find it interesting that big women are –at least in my pal’s experience– less likely to believe a regulation hottie’s motives are pure (or at least not mean-spirited) than a thin girl.

What’s up with that?

As I wrote years and years ago, there are a lot of ways to get self-esteem, and none of them come by injection, but I hate to see a big girl tossing away the attention of a potentially great guy because she deems out of her league.

So where does it come from?

We’ve all heard of “dog parties” or “pig parties” where hot guys find the least-desirable women they can find in some sort of weird competition. However I have never been to a pig party, I have never known anyone who’s been to a pig party. I think they’re more the domain of urban legend and Very Special Episodes than reality, but it’s a boogie man for many big girls.

I’ll admit to being perhaps more suspicious with the Abercrombie and Fitch types –particularly the young ones– than with your more run o’ the mill fellas, not because I don’t believe they’re attracted to me, but because fat women, rightly or wrongly, are often known for their, uh, ease of virtue and I’m just not that kind of girl so I make it known in no uncertain terms that if he thinks his eight-pack will help him get All Up In This with anything approaching ease, he’s got another think coming. I don’t do cheap and cheerful in any respect.

Is it fair? Maybe not. What are your experiences?


  1. I have never experienced something like that as an adult, but I experienced it plenty as a (un-fat, but nerdy) middle schooler and high schooler. I still remember a boy that I thought was very cute sending word through friends that he “liked” me, wanted to go out, etc. I got all twitterpated until he finally came up to me and told me it was a joke.

    Was that a long time ago? Yes. Should I get over it? Certainly. However, having that sort of experience at an early age and those jokes being my *only* experience with guys until I went to college, it made me a bit wary.

    Now, as a fat woman, if a man with cheese grater abs started chatting me up, my instinct would be to look for his friends hiding around a corner and snickering. I’d be able to get past it, but it would take some effort on both our parts.

    Comment by Lunakitsch — July 22, 2010 @ 3:42 pm

  2. @Lunakitsch: Interesting! I had –in fact I’m sure we’ve all had– the same experience where a boy in middle school. I’m certainly over it, but those years are called “formative” for a reason. Of course I’m almost positive I did the same thing when I was the Mean Girl, so fair play. Kids suck.

    Comment by Plumcake — July 22, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

  3. I’ve dated the “hot guy” he really does like big girls but I don’t typically expect that those guys are the ones that hit on me in public. Although I was 22 before i ever seriously had the “hot guy” after me.

    Comment by Sarahbe — July 22, 2010 @ 4:39 pm

  4. @Sarahbe: why do you think that is?

    Comment by Plumcake — July 22, 2010 @ 4:52 pm

  5. In high school I was the butt of many of those jokes, I don’t know if it was because I was a big girl or because I was a capital T tomboy. When they weren’t doing that they were calling me a boy.

    In college I girled myself up a bit and dated a little. A couple of the guys mentioned me being the first big girl they’d ever been with. I started to feel like dating me was an experiment on their part.

    Now I’m married to a normal looking guy- but one who dated a lot before me (he’s a bit older). He tells me and shows me how beautiful he finds me but I still worry sometimes that it’ll all turn out to be a big joke.

    Comment by BatGirl — July 22, 2010 @ 5:07 pm

  6. @BatGirl: Huh, I got that a lot in my early 20’s, and sometimes wondered if I was an experiment. I felt like I was a gateway drug for guys who maybe really were attracted to big girls, but were maybe just trying something different. I’ll never forget *after* my first horizontal assignation with a very short-lived gentleman caller when I’d well and truly rocked his world, he said, genuinely surprised, that he didn’t think he was going to be able to do that with someone “so big”. The relationship ended as soon as I could wiggle back into my cocktail dress. That being said, I’m not necessarily sure that at a certain age, being an experiment is such a bad thing.

    Comment by Plumcake — July 22, 2010 @ 5:21 pm

  7. Yes I’ve seen guys do the pig party – I wish it was an urban legend.

    I think guys have to grow up a bit to be man enough to own their own preferences around their friends. I’ve definitely seen men who wouldn’t date plus sized girls or flat-chested girls or girls of different religions or races when they were younger change as they got older and more confident. Unfortunately they may have done damage to a lot of girls along the way who were also younger and less confident.

    I think what facinates men now is that I honestly don’t give a crap what they think of me (thanks to a fab husband). I’m more concerned about what they can do for me

    Comment by Thea — July 22, 2010 @ 5:29 pm

  8. @Thea, is it truly because you have a fab husband that you don’t care? What if you didn’t have one? Would you feel the same way?

    Comment by Plumcake — July 22, 2010 @ 5:38 pm

  9. I dated a really, really hot, well-dressed Italian artist guy in my early 20s. He was so hot, that my gay roommate and a lot of other people I knew had a crush on him before I even had a crush on him (he pursued me for a while – he had a – skinny – girlfriend at the time but I only started dating him after he broke up with her). I eventually broke up with him because I found out he was cheating on me, a lot (which I guess was to be expect from a guy who pursued me when he was still with his girlfriend). Now, that could happen to anybody, big or small girls. But I recently reconnected with him via Facebook and I found out that he now is Facebook friends with a lot of bigger girls who remind me a lot of myself back then (ok, so maybe I did a bit of internet stalking there and read their profiles …) – outgoing and sexy big ladies who at the same time seem lonely and a bit desperate. We emailed a little bit (I am now happily married, so I am in no way interested in re-kindling this relationship) and when he saw that I had lost some weight since back when we dated he seemed less interested in me all of a sudden. He told me I don’t look like myself anymore (though I am still big, just less big).

    Anyway, I was wondering if I was just a sexual phantasy for him and if he ever truly was interested in ME. Part of me thought, well, maybe I was so awesome that he has been looking for a replacement and that’s why he now tries to date girls who look and behave like me back then.
    So I just try to think it’s the second one since it doesn’t really make a difference to me anyway, other than that it makes me feel better.

    Comment by Ali — July 22, 2010 @ 6:15 pm

  10. Also – high school and college boys often just need to grow up to be confident to date who they really want to date. My husband and I were going through some old papers and we found “get to know each other” questionnaires that were handed out in my husbands old dorm. One was from one of his friends (who is still his friends, 15 years later). Under “Dislikes” it said “Fat girls, especially the arrogant ones”. I was disgusted but also surprised, not only because this guy is really nice and smart today but also because his wife – who he met in college – is a confident big girl and has always been.

    Comment by Ali — July 22, 2010 @ 6:23 pm

  11. A few years ago, I was in a Lane Bryant when a nice-looking enough but not gorgeous guy, early 30s, came up and started chatting to me, smiling, asking me if I worked around there.

    Nothing weird, really, but I wasn’t interested — wondered what he was doing in the store, for one thing — and I gave him short answers and no encouragement. He started getting a little pushy –“Why not talk to me?” — and I had to get back to work anyway, so I just left.

    And he followed me out the door and met up with his buddies, who saw I was annoyed and walking away. And buddies started hooting about how their pal had struck out with the random fat chick he’d hit on as a joke. I wasn’t hurt, really, but I was kind of stunned, in the “Does junior high never end?” sense.

    So from time to time these things do happen to grownups too. Though indeed, I’d like to think a**hats of that degree are rare. I am not easily wounded, but those creeps could really have flattened some nice woman.

    Comment by Mifty — July 22, 2010 @ 6:26 pm

  12. When I was a law student, there was a group of very good-looking young men led by a sociopath, and they followed the leader. I’m guessing that is (or was) a fairly common dynamic among young men of unformed character. Sociopath even wrote a letter to a hot boy in the group and signed MY name. I was a very objectively attractive size 8 (5’9″) at the time.

    Some young men I’ve known just want bragging rights about sex (with any girl) and they’ve been VERY INDISCREET. Most were good-looking because girls were attracted to them and the men probably had yet to develop empathy and morals.

    So, whether women are fat or not, some young men are just pigs themselves. I was suspicious of hot guys based on my law school and law firm experiences, but had a boyfriend so not much happened. (And I’m a prude myself. But we can get into Jewish stereotypes another time).

    Comment by Debs — July 22, 2010 @ 6:28 pm

  13. I had the same experiences in middle school and high school, though I never fell for it (I have a hard time watching Heathers because I was basically Martha Dumptruck back then). It was only in college that I had the experience of being hit on by some good-looking guys who didn’t seem to be assholes about it, though by then I was a lot less fat than I had been in high school, and a lot less shy and withdrawn as well.

    But I’m still kind of wary, especially with white guys. The guys in my high school were pretty much all white, and they’re the ones who were asshats (for whatever reason, I’ve not had similar experiences with black or Latino men, so I’m less wary. Don’t know if that’s cultural, or if it just reflects the fact that I didn’t live in a very diverse place until I was an adult dating other adults). My economic/social/racial milieu didn’t allow for much deviation from the thin-tan-blonde milieu. I learned to hide my interest for fear of being mocked. Now, it’s still hard for me to tell when someone likes me, and I’ve had the awful experience of having a nice time with a guy and then being asked to congratulate him for how open-minded he’s being (sample dialogue: “Do I make you feel beautiful?” “No, I don’t need you to feel that.”). But I’m up-front about my size in personal ads, and I will put a guy on the spot to feel out if he’s either playing me or a fetishist. OTOH, it’s been a while since I’ve really bothered dating, because I’ve been going through some sorting of mental stuff, and it just doesn’t appeal.

    Comment by zuzu — July 22, 2010 @ 7:57 pm

  14. Quite frankly, in my experience, 90% of the guys who have hit on me (both before I got married and continuing afterwards) seem to all only be out for one thing – sex.

    Well, during my early 20s, after no dating, no first kiss or anything like that until I was 21 – I “went there”. And boy do I regret it now! But after I learned my lesson from that (i.e. don’t actually sleep with someone unless you REALLY like them…..or even love them – because otherwise, they’re just using you…and for me, it was that whole “if it’s the only way to get attention, even if it is bad”), I no longer need or want that kind of man around.

    And “that kind of man” is usually pretty obvious. They are pushy, arrogant and convinced of their own worth. Nothing dissuades them short of “Get the hell away from me before I call the cops on you, you jacka**.” Telling them that I’m married usually gets a reply of “Well, he doesn’t have to know!”

    Sorry, toots! Just because I am fat doesn’t mean I have a drive-thru sign on my hootchie!

    Comment by Cat — July 22, 2010 @ 8:31 pm

  15. Hi Plumcake, no, I really stopped caring about what men thought of me when I turned 30. When I met my husband I was well into my “yeah but can you do for me?” phase – and was having the time of my life with a lot of male attention. He said my cheekiness was what attracted him to me. So I was already there before said fab husband, but I went thru a lot of bad experiences before I developed the confidence.

    PS “what can you do for me” refers to the ability to make me laugh and impress me with your wit and kindness. It does not refer to ‘pay my rent and buy me things’ – but y’all knew that :->

    Comment by Thea — July 22, 2010 @ 9:17 pm

  16. Yeah, I think a lot of us bigger girls have had the experience of really liking a guy, him appearing to like us back, and then realizing with a sinking heart that all of the dates consist of him coming over at 11pm on a Saturday night to “watch a movie”. But we don’t kick him out because we think that once he gets to know how awesome we are, then SURELY he’ll fall in love and want to take us out on proper dates and actually be a real boyfriend.

    And once you’ve been burned like that a few times, you can’t help but develop a defensive shell.

    Comment by La Petite Acadienne — July 22, 2010 @ 9:44 pm

  17. I think part of the problem with interest from hot guys comes from not being sure of their motivations. And it’s not just concern that they might be pranking you. There’s also the very real possibility that a hot guy who is into fat chicks is, like, waaaay into fat chicks — fetish into them.

    It may seem strangely narrow, but I think many fat chicks are looking for a guy who loves them despite their fat, not because of it. They want someone who is won over by their sparkling personality and thinks they’re beautiful, not someone who just happens to be turned on by whatever fat ass is available.

    So on the one hand, there’s the risk that the guy’s not really into you and is either pranking you or abusing your lack of self-confidence for an easy lay and on the other end is the risk that he’s into you in an unhealthy, objectifying way. It’s hard to imagine that Mr. 6-pack might actually be just sorta into you as you.

    Comment by Jacquilynne — July 22, 2010 @ 10:50 pm

  18. Some of that behaviour does have to do with age. I recall a remark of Craig Ferguson’s where he said most men aren’t “worth a toss” before 35. I think there’s some truth to that.

    I had guys try to play that game on me back in junior high. I never fell for it. However, because I was suspicious and defensive I suspect, looking back, that there was at least one guy around my age who was genuinely interested (very cute, too–no idea who he was) but I kept brushing off his advances. I was so sure he couldn’t be interested.

    The ones who came on to me (particularly when I was younger) with lavish compliments were quickly given the boot. I prefer someone who’s smart, kind and funny over a ton of insincere compliments.

    My DH is 11 years older than I am, and we got together when I was about 20. I was attracted to him not only because he found me attractive but because he was levelheaded, smart, kind, and funny. But he still had to work pretty hard to get past my defenses.

    I have more confidence in myself than I did when I was younger, but still don’t really see myself as particularly attractive. It’s a part of me I tend to not think about–ignore it, if you will. I feel more confident if I don’t think about my looks.

    Comment by Geogrrl — July 22, 2010 @ 11:01 pm

  19. So I guess I’m the only one here who is sometimes just oblivious to flirty attention?

    I don’t think I need to be extra super convinced that a man is interested in me–I just don’t think about that interest as why we’re talking or whatever until much later than women who are approached by men all the time.

    At the beginning of our relationship, my beloved actually got on a plane and flew halfway across the country to hang out with me on New Year’s Eve, and I *barely* got a clue that he was into me.

    Comment by Courtney — July 22, 2010 @ 11:51 pm

  20. Courtney, I’m the same way. I’ve always lived squarely in the “friend zone” so I’ve just come to think that pretty much any attention is just friendly attention, not really flirty attention. I also had a bit of the Middle School, realizing you’re the one being distracted by the wing man so the hot guy can hit on your sister crap other ladies have mentioned, not bad, but enough to be remembered and I’m sure that’s colored things a bit too. But yeah, so the hotter the guy is the more I tend to think he just thinks I’m “awesome and fun and able to talk to about anything… Like that other petite, blonde girly girl (read: opposite of me) I totally have a thing for.”

    Comment by Beth C. — July 23, 2010 @ 12:40 am

  21. @Beth: oooh, I hear that last one! I’ve always been a bit (read: rather a lot) of a tomboy–think multiple black belts, a weapons championship, and being one BA prop for a rugby team–and pretty hefty besides, so any guys I know pretty firmly shuffle me into the “sibling/friend” category. I actually had one guy tell me that, with him and some of our other male friends, I was “the little brother” of the group!

    I also dealt with some pretty stupid adolescent boys, and am still doing so. In my chem seminar this past semester, I had to deal with one charming example of humanity who liked to tell me, “Woman! Go make me a sandwich…and don’t eat it!” when he wanted to be funny. Worst part was the professor saying that he was “just being a guy” when I told him that I was uncomfortable with this.

    People swear that guys get better as they get older, but, I’ll be honest. I’m 20 and I’ve never so much as had a guy interested in me–except as the butt of a joke. At this point, when they are mature enough to admit that they want alllll a’ that, I’m not sure if I’ll be able/willing to listen. :

    Comment by Verita — July 23, 2010 @ 1:36 am

  22. I developed really early – I was wearing a C cup by 5th grade and was constantly mistaken for being way older than I was. And that led to a lot of inappropriate attention, which made me turn skittish as a deer. I also grew up a size 12/14 in an area where most girls were 4/6, so the boys in my grade would constantly make fun of me or try to sleep with me. And then when I was 17, I was raped by the “hot” guy. So I have a bit of PTSD. When it comes to very attractive men approaching me, I want to run. If he breaks my personal space, I will run.

    I am married. My husband was willing to meet me halfway and really spend time taking it slow, letting me get to know him and vice versa.

    Comment by Meggie — July 23, 2010 @ 9:39 am

  23. And regarding whether it’s fair – what in life is fair? It sucks for the “nice” guys who have to deal with the repercussions of the jerks of the past, but there’s honestly no way to tell at first or maybe even second or tenth contact if any specific guy is going to turn out to be a great person or you should run for your life. If he’s really sincere, he should woo the girl and go at her pace.

    Comment by Meggie — July 23, 2010 @ 9:44 am

  24. Riffing off @BatGirl’s comment, I wonder if some guys think of sex with a Big Girl as a novelty, rather than an experiment.

    I am not a proper Big Girl (size 10P), but I am of part-Asian descent. The “Asian fetish” remains a damning part of my dating psychology, because “Asian” is the first thing that most guys see, as “fat” probably is for Big Girls (rather than, you know, “sparkly eyes” or “great rack”). It’s the first mental hurdle guys have to clear: “do I want to date a minority?” Doing something “different” is a conscious choice they seem to have to make at the start. And the majority of guys of dated (who, obviously, chose “yes”) have at some point copped to having “a thing for Asian girls”. Not me in particular.

    This is all to say, even if you don’t feel like you’re being dated as an experiment, there’s still a concern that your main physical attractions are about being part of an “exotic” (whether Asian or Big) type, not an individual.

    And because it should live in infamy FOREVER, an ex’s excuse: “Dating you didn’t count as indulging my Asian fetish, because Asian girls are skinny.”

    (P.S. Thanks for the reply re: futbol fellas!)

    Comment by Jophiel — July 23, 2010 @ 9:56 am

  25. Gee Courtney, I thought I was the Queen of Oblivia! When I was in college and in my 20’s I was so firmly convinced I was a non-starter that I could not see it when a guy was attracted to me. I’ve actually woken up in the middle of the night years later and gone “Duh, he LIKED me” Unfortunately it’s 10-15-20 years later.

    I was also an early bloomer, C cup in Jr. high, so had to deal with the obnoxious jr hi guys (and college guys and on and on)….that along with growing up with 3 older brothers ensured I had a hard shell and a sharp tongue.

    I always say “Men think I’m a dumb busty blonde until I open my mouth”

    Comment by Thea — July 23, 2010 @ 10:54 am

  26. @Verita: in my experience there is very little difference between an 11 year old boy and a 20 year old one. Generally speaking I have always found men in their 20’s to be useless as a species. Of course it is also my opinion that women and men both are completely unfit for public consumption until about 27 and should be allowed into adult society only with three sponsors and a letter of reference from their local maiden aunt.

    That being said, I’ve got to make a teensy little correction to your post. “I’m 20 and I’ve never so much as had a guy interested in me–except as the butt of a joke.” is almost certainly untrue. You are 20 and you’ve never noticed a guy interested in you except as the butt of a joke.

    I think being unattached in your early 20’s is definitely the way to go as long as it doesn’t make you hard or bitter. Then you can spend those formative years deciding what you do and don’t want and by the time the boys come to their senses and start trying to bust up your chiffarobe, you’ll be in a position to say “yes” or “no” with wisdom.

    Comment by Plumcake — July 23, 2010 @ 10:59 am

  27. @Jophiel, I’ve often wondered about that with Asian girls and what a PITA it must be. My family spent 30+ years in Asia so mother was born in Hong Kong and grew up in Southeast Asia. There have been certain men who perked right up when I said that, only to visibly deflate when I tell them that she is –and I am– 100% round eye.

    I think your point about the “exotic” is right on. Excellent comparison.

    Comment by Plumcake — July 23, 2010 @ 12:00 pm

  28. “Sorry, toots! Just because I am fat doesn’t mean I have a drive-thru sign on my hootchie!”

    There I was, innocently drinking coffee while surfing the blog. Despite your greatness, Cat, you owe me a new keyboard. :-)

    Comment by SusanC — July 23, 2010 @ 2:25 pm

  29. Me. I’m often oblivious. Just the other day I was in the elevator at work and a very handsome young thing asked if I worked at the law firm or Victoria Secret (one of the other business in the building). It took me a few beats after he got off the elevator to realize that he’d probably been flirting. It makes me wonder how many signals I missed when I was younger.

    Back in my early 20s, I was usually the flirter vs. the flirtee. In my late 30s-40s, when I was dumped back in the dating pool, internet dating had taken some of that uncertainty out of the interaction … in the swath I cut there were some conventionally hawt men, and truth be known, I wasn’t necessarily interested in them for more than their looks either … boytoys … candymen … *smiles fondly* Of course, my gay boyfriends swear I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, so … LOL

    Comment by Sarahbyrdd — July 23, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

  30. By the by, Plummie, is this fella single and looking? Does he like probably-older women, and does he ever get to New York?

    Comment by zuzu — July 23, 2010 @ 4:54 pm

  31. @Zuzu Back off, cougar.

    Comment by Plumcake — July 23, 2010 @ 5:32 pm

  32. There was some interesting Twittering going on (oxymoron I know), when an actor ( some pics a bit NSFW) said that he was into non-straight-sized girls. His actual tweets aren’t too interesting (basically, he said he’d gotten w/ a very tall plus sized model), but the number of people attacking him for this was a bit…staggering. To his credit, he told them to screw off. (And not to equate thin with healthy to a former heroin user.)

    So I think there’s an effort for men who honestly like women who aren’t straight-sized to keep it to themselves. I remember reading an article on pig-parties many years ago that ended with one of the guys basically admitting that he liked heavier women, but was too shamed to actually date one.

    The only ones who admit it may come off like scammers or fetishists or disingenuous. I’m straight-sized, but I don’t look white (another long story), and I have a hard time believing that guys hitting on me aren’t into some weird ethnicity fetish. The bf is the first guy in a long time who hasn’t called me “exotic” (you know, like a plant. Or a disease.), which made me actually believe he liked me.

    Comment by Dontsleepsharks — July 23, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  33. For me, I chalk this up less to being a big girl than to something my friend Tom calls “Spheres of Attractiveness™.”

    Essentially, it boils down to this – you have an assessment of about how attractive you are (you think for instance that you are cute..not gorgeous, but cute) When someone in your “sphere of attractiveness” (cute and such) chats you up, you totally get it – “oh this person is interested.” However, if the person is outside your sphere of attractiveness – i.e. drop dead hottie – you can’t completely conceive that this level of hotness is talking to you in an interested way. You think they are friendly, or really asking if they can help you carry the two glasses of ice and the coke to your hotel room because they are an extremely helpful bartender at the hotel bar even though it’s about a few feet away (yes, I missed that, as obvious as it sounds now as I type it.) Indeed, the “spheres of attractiveness” has caught me out many times – esp. when pointed back out to me by friends.

    Comment by Alyssa — July 23, 2010 @ 6:51 pm

  34. @Alyssa: I’ve been thinking a lot about how willfully oblivious I’ve been because of the “spheres of attractiveness” (btw, great phrase). It really makes me wonder how many times I’ve missed signals. I guess it’s easier to pretend that the other person is just being friendly rather than recognizing it as flirting and returning the favor — thereby risking rejection. How do you teach yourself to read the signs correctly?!?

    Another thing, I’ve come to hate southern men; they’re so flirtatious! (Just kidding, I of course don’t hate them, but just frustrated at how their charm makes it so much harder to discern real interest from plain friendliness)

    Comment by notacynic — July 25, 2010 @ 6:08 pm

  35. I hate the mini freak out I always have in my head when a “hot boy” hits on me. Usually I spend the whole time fighting an inner battle between 1/2 my brain saying “he is just f*cking with you, he would never like you, run away!” and the other 1/2 saying “your freaking adorable, why wouldn’t he want to talk to you, relax!”. It gives me headache.

    I’m currently talking to a very good looking guy (tall, nice hair, great smile, killer body and beyond ridiculously smart) online. I have sent him a ton of pictures showing my body in every angle I can think of just to make sure he realizes how big I am (26/28). The only shots left to send would be me sans clothing and…no. He wants to meet me for coffee and I’m trying to get the nerve up to go.

    Did I mention he is French?? Yea, hot FRENCH guy wants to meet me. Of course all my very helpful friends keep saying things like “huh, I didn’t think French men liked fat girls”. Thanks y’all, very helpful!

    Comment by Jeni — July 26, 2010 @ 1:54 am

  36. @Jeni…are you sure these people are really friends? Good Lord. I can’t imagine saying such a thing.

    @Verita As a professor, I can say that your professor is *wrong*. That’s not a “guy being a guy” thing, that’s harassment, and you don’t have to put up with it, and your professor should have put a stop to it.

    Comment by Lisa — July 26, 2010 @ 2:15 am

  37. @Jeni, The French Moroccans or North Africans DO like their big girls. A LOT. That being said, I can tell you on the otherside of a long term relationship with a French man that FRENCH is not always a feature, but a bug. Good luck!

    Comment by Plumcake — July 26, 2010 @ 10:14 am

  38. @Plumcake, Yea he is from the south of France and most definitely not Moroccan or North African. If that was the case I would not be nearly as stressed out. Yea this guy is very…French. I am not sure if that is meant as a compliment or not.

    I am not really into the who “Ooooh French men are so sexy” thing. I prefer big rugby playing Scotsmen myself. I will say he is taking all my French jokes very well and supplying his own so…there is hope.

    Comment by Jeni — July 26, 2010 @ 4:00 pm

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