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Who wears short shorts? | Manolo for the Big Girl

Who wears short shorts?

Do you wear shorts?

I don’t.

I’m not against them per se, but I cannot say the last time I wore shorts. High school maybe? They’ve just never worked on me. It seems no matter what cut, drape or material, I take two steps and I’d have that horrible inverted V where the inseam of my shorts climb heavenward and and attempt to insinuate themselves into my Very Thing, which while an understandable yearning, is not really what I’m looking for in a pantular relationship.

I cannot be the only person who has this problem.

And it’s not like I simply long to wear the things.

First of all, my lifestyle doesn’t really support shorts.

Yes, I live in Texas but my legs aren’t long enough to carry off  a “city short” and I refuse to wear regular twill shorts because that’s a level of casual that, on me, is equivalent to the guy I saw once during a biker convention wearing a t-shirt that read “Party ’til Your Crotch Stinks.”

I just can’t do it.

Oh sure I’ll wear shorts under dresses, or I’ll wear leggings under a short tennis skirt if I’m working out, but as a rule shorts are a no-go.

What about you?

52 Responses to “Who wears short shorts?”

  1. Ash August 15, 2010 at 4:44 pm #

    I am short and long torso-ed, and I gave up on shorts just before my 30th birthday. I am never going to have attractive legs, and that is just How It Is.

    It is approaching 100 degrees outside and I am wearing a knee length loose skirt, lined, from Target.

  2. La Petite Acadienne August 16, 2010 at 10:05 am #

    Shorts are incredibly tricky. The only ones I’ve ever found that worked for me were of a substantial fabric, knee-length, and on the slim side. Anything else results in them riding up, and there is not much sadder than seeing some oblivious Big Girl out and about with her shorts riding up into her Very Thing.