Do you know what I love about this blog?
I mean other than the money and free stuff and all you crazy wonderful dames? I love that this is a space where you don’t have to hate yourself.
Because you know what? I am thirty-one damn years old and Mama is TIRED of being told I’m supposed to hate myself because I’m too something and not something else enough. I don’t, okay? Never did. Sorry! And you probably don’t either and even if you DID feel that way I am here to tell you right here, right now, in front of God, Gaultier and everybody else, that you officially can stop feeling bad about the way you look because I like you just fine the way you are and I am pretty much always right when it comes to people I’m not going to sleep with and although I love you, I don’t, you know, love you.
It might sound strange coming from someone who is for all intents and purposes a Professional Fat Chick, but I really don’t care about fat. I barely stop to think about mine so you can be darn sure I don’t think about yours.
What I DO care about is connecting with people who have been told their whole lives that they had to change the way they look to be accepted, popular and loved.
Because that? Is horsehockey. Big, stinky, steaming, gelatinous, horsehockey, with flies and worms and all other gross things I can’t really think too much about because I just ate lunch.
Woo! Okay enough of that rant.
Let’s have some fun, shall we? Tomorrow I’ve got some fab fall clothes I’m really excited about, so today let’s do a Big Question:
Today Miss Plumcake wants to know:
What is the most ridiculous fad diet you have tried or been forced to try?
I think my mother bought every snake oil on the planet and tried it on me. She also tried to wax my fourth-grade moustachio using PARAFFIN, because it’s wax, right? blessherheart, which is neither here nor there except to remind you that if you do screwed up things to your kid, be prepared for her to get at least semi-famous and tell her thousands and thousands of awesome fans alllll about it. ANYHOODLE, I know I was subjected to various shakes and puddings and unnatural things to do with cabbage, but the one that sticks out in my memory was when I was about in fourth grade, and she brought home this little spray. From what I remember now it was bitter grapefruit oil and you were supposed to spray it directly on your tongue every time you were hungry so it would suppress your appetite. Anyone want to guess the end results? That’s right, I found it delicious and to this day bitter, almost mentholated grapefruit, is one of my favorite flavors on earth.