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In Praise of Men, Again. | Manolo for the Big Girl

In Praise of Men, Again.

It was interesting to read the comments to yesterday’s post because I think what many of my beloved readers picked up was not what I was intentionally putting down.

I’m not going to tell you how to Get The Guy.

First of all,  I don’t KNOW how to get the guy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a fantastic guy but I fell backwards into it, just as I do into most of my relationships and frankly, though my relationships are usually full of fabulous prizes and exotic men, I wouldn’t exactly say they’ve been entirely successful.

That wasn’t the point of yesterday’s post –which was really just an appreciation of men– and it’s not something I could do even if I tried. Although if I did try it would probably go something like this:

1)Be interested.
2)Be interesting.
3)Don’t be psycho.
4)If you are psycho,  at least have great tits.

That’s all I got.

But honestly it wasn’t about how to meet a man, although I can see how it might read that way. It was about not perpetuating these bogus gender wars that make men the enemy and our lives more complicated than they need to be.

When I used to watch television I would get so riled because almost every commercial and sitcom would feature a smart, sassy wife and a dopey, oafish husband. What is wrong with us that we think men are these stupid creatures? I mean there are plenty of stupid men out there, I nearly hit one with my car today (THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR FRONT PLEATS, OKAY?) , but there are just as many stupid women.

The point I was trying to make, not very effectively, is that men are great as a species, not just as potential objects of desire and it’s a lot easier to have a good time in life if you don’t view them as the enemy or a bunch of dopes who automatically judge you in the negative for being fat.

14 Responses to “In Praise of Men, Again.”

  1. Dawn September 24, 2010 at 4:09 pm #

    ” dont be psycho” …lol . Yes that would be a key objective . I have a single guy friend and it seems like every girl he gets involved with is , um ..unstable . Of course , he’s a good deal younger than me so the girls he’s messing with are somewhere between 18 and 21 . That may be the issue . Idk . Poor guy cant find a normal chick to save his life . lol .

  2. Astra September 24, 2010 at 4:16 pm #

    “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a fantastic guy but I fell backwards into it…”

    Maybe that’s how to get a man: men like it when you fall backwards in their presence. Tee hee.

  3. Astra September 24, 2010 at 4:18 pm #

    I stole that joke from Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet):

    “For then she could stand alone; nay, by the rood,
    She could have run and waddled all about;
    For even the day before, she broke her brow:
    And then my husband–God be with his soul!
    A’ was a merry man–took up the child:
    ‘Yea,’ quoth he, ‘dost thou fall upon thy face?
    Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit;
    Wilt thou not, Jule?’ and, by my holidame,
    The pretty wretch left crying and said ‘Ay.’
    To see, now, how a jest shall come about!”

  4. ananas September 24, 2010 at 4:24 pm #

    Man Dawn, story of my life. I think every girl in the 18 – 20something range is kinda crazypants. (Including myself, of course.)

  5. Friv September 24, 2010 at 6:27 pm #

    WhatEVer.

    How DO I get a man?

  6. Dawn September 24, 2010 at 6:31 pm #

    @ananas . I guess so ! lol . When I was 18 I got married , 19 bought a house and had our 1st son when I was 21 , so I never went through the ”typical” late teen , early 20’s years . I had a hard childhood , so I had to grow up fast . Maybe being a lil nutso in your late teens and early 20’s is normal ??

  7. Courtney September 24, 2010 at 6:42 pm #

    I’d add:

    5) Be you.

    If you have to be something other than exactly what you are, how long can you keep that up? How unhappy will it make you? How much time will you waste? What’s the point?

  8. Cat September 24, 2010 at 7:20 pm #

    Ah, now Madame Plumcake, this I can get behind.

    Particularly the DO NOT BE PSYCHO part.

    And everyone, it is NOT just girls in their 18-25 ages. There are psycho ladies all the way up into their 80s.

    I don’t care who you are, what your body size is, or whatever, being insecure about yourself is NOT an excuse for psycho behavior (and from what I see, every single psycho woman I have ever met has used the “but I feel insecure” excuse for their behavior).

    Feel insecure – it’s part of life. I get insecure. It means that you need to look at yourself and see WHY you feel insecure. If you’re in a relationship, and the insecurity or jealousy or whatever emotion makes you want to act psycho – look at WHY you feel that way. Both insecurity and jealousy basically mean that YOU do not validate yourself. It means that you define yourself by who you are in the relationship.

    You are still you whether you are single or not. You do NOT need to define yourself against whoever you are seeing romantically (woman, man or marmoset)!

  9. The gold digger September 24, 2010 at 9:50 pm #

    1)Be interested.
    2)Be interesting.
    3)Don’t be psycho.
    4)If you are psycho, at least have great tits.

    I better be interesting and interested, because I sure don’t have option 4 available to me, at least not without surgery.

    a smart, sassy wife and a dopey, oafish husband.

    My dad hated almost all situation comedies except the Cosby show. It was one of the few where the father/husband wasn’t a moron.

    I would like to know in what world the loser guy gets the great wife, as they do in Hollywood.

  10. dcsurfergirl September 25, 2010 at 12:23 am #

    I totally appreciate this post.

    I live and work every day surrounded by men. They are not stupid. They can dress themselves. They CAN take care of themselves. We may not understand them always but hey, our half of the population probably gets on their collective last nerve.

    When women underestimate men, they screw themselves over.

  11. Rebekka September 25, 2010 at 2:48 am #

    Yes, yes, yes. Men are not the enemy. (Some men are, but as you pointed out, there are also some nasty, stupid women out there who will make you roll your eyes til they fall out of your head if you don’t get over it.) I also hate those sitcoms.

    I’m not an expert but I feel like this whole “Men are thugs” thing is a component of feminism – a really paranoid, grim feminism. And the truth is that there are tons of nice, cool, funny, strong, helpful guys out there, but you’d never know it if you watch TV. And talk about lowering the bar – starting with expectations around zero is not really the way to get people to live up to them, y’know?

  12. megaera September 25, 2010 at 5:07 am #

    “4)If you are psycho, at least have great tits.” Aaaaaaaaaaaand I’m saved!

  13. AmazonAngelle September 26, 2010 at 12:24 am #

    “it’s a lot easier to have a good time in life if you don’t view them as the enemy or a bunch of dopes who automatically judge you in the negative for being fat.”

    Thank you! I kinda needed to hear this one :)

  14. LizzyB October 3, 2010 at 3:38 pm #

    “4)If you are psycho, at least have great tits.” I am…sunk!