So I’ve been a professional blogger for what, sixty, seventy years now? It takes a lot to excite me.
Well honestly all it takes photographs of the All Blacks in a swimming pool to excite me (sigh) or a photograph of Iker Casillas doing pretty much anything, ever, including crying –but NOT including kissing that Carbonerwhatever woman who I can’t help but notice ISN’T ME– but that’s not the point.
The point is, if there’s one thing I love more than shoes, gin and Jesus (not necessarily in that order, depending on the shoes and gin) it’s soccer, and if there’s one thing I love more than soccer, it’s a good soccer blog.
Now those of you who have been longtime readers of the blog will know that I have done the WAG thing twice in my life: once back in college with a midfielder from KV Mechelen and once recently with a seven-year veteran of Atalanta Bergamo, which means nothing to any of you so just trust me that I love soccer and I’ll just show you a picture of Freddie Ljungberg wearing half a bottle of baby oil and a profoundly stupid tattoo so you’ll keep reading:
Anyhoodle, while discussing this weekend’s coming matches, my sportscaster pal Joey, knowing I am currently involved with a rather legendary Bulgarian athlete, pointed me in the direction of this bit of brilliance from My New Favorite Blog Ever: Dirty Tackle.
(trust me, it’s funny even if you don’t know a thing about the second greatest sport on earth, third if you count hunting poor people)
If you just got off the boat from Mars, Berbatov is the second hottest Bulgarian–my own being the first, of course– on the planet and is currently a Hot Young Thing paying for Manchester United he’s also captain of my fantasy team, which is only slightly less important. The legendary Lothar Matthaeus –yeah alright I know you don’t know who he is, but trust me, he’s lege, also fun fact: I have the last shirt he ever wore on the field at Bayern, a gift from my ex– is the new coach for the Bulgarian national team and is trying to convince The Berba to come back to Bloc-ville (see what I did there? With the Communism and the early R.E.M. reference?) which would be like me calling up Karl Lagerfeld and asking him if he wanted to resign from Chanel and Fendi and devote himself entirely to L.L.Bean.
Wait, where was I going with this?
Um. Let’s see…gin, Jesus, hot Swedish dude with an inexplicably stupid tattoo…RIGHT! The Dirty Tackle. You should read it. You should also have a fabulous weekend, and if you’re too young to remember The Continental and thus won’t understand what Brooks Peck is talking about, let Christopher Walken take you to school (with bonus Phil Hartman voiceover!)