It’s been a while since we’ve had a good old-fashioned Monday Hotness and I thought I’d go for a pretty boy this time.
When Jude Law first came to my attention, he was the gorgeous golden cad in The Talented Mr Ripley, I remember going “WHO is THAT?” People like that don’t exist outside Evelyn Waugh novels. Historically I’ve never been a sucker for a pretty face, but this is a PRETTY FACE. Also? He’s secretly in love with me. True story. *
“Gwynnie lamb, I don’t want to be a pest but I think you’re stabbing me with your elbow. I said you’re a very nice girl, but I can’t be with a woman who thinks eating lawn is a good idea. Lawn is not food. Lawn is what food eats. I need a real woman. A woman with several deviled egg plates and more than one type of bacon in her refrigerator at any given time.”
“Oh Miss Plumcake, come to me. I need the sweet healing love of a fat Episcopalian girl who might be the only natural born American who can brew a decent cup of tea. We will lie in bed listening to the Crab Canon and playing chess while I nibble your ankle.”
“What my darling? No Bach? Even though the calendar very clearly indicates Bachtober started several days ago? Suit yourself, but I shall grab my lip and be abashed. Shall I take off my pants?”
“I know my sweet, I too am sometimes perplexed as to how my lips can be so perfect. I see you are confused. Perhaps you would like to caress my chin dimple and discuss whether I might possibly be wearing too much blusher.”
“Do you admire my shirt studs? Stephen Fry put them on with his teeth. He said that was the traditional way. Was he mistaken? Never mind. Don’t you think this inexplicably salmon waistcoat would look better crumpled elegantly on your bedroom floor, or perhaps the local public tennis courts after posted hours? So do I, darling. Let us off.”
*In my head