Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

October 15, 2010

Letters to a Young Fat Girl: Lesson the Fifth

Filed under: Be Super Fantastic — Miss Plumcake @ 10:00 am

A strong black woman trying to pass as a white southern belle

A group of gay men

A syndicated character written by The Manolo

A mousy girl’s alterego

Before I was outed as an actual living person who’s pretty much exactly what you read here, your Auntie Plumcake was accused of being all of these things, and more. The last thing anyone thought was the person writing about her life, loves, shoes and style was an actual person.

But let me tell you a secret: Years before I took my fruity name and before this blog was even a glimmer in The Manolo’s eye, I willed myself to become Miss Plumcake, and now I am. It illustrates today’s lesson:

People Buy What You Sell.

I wasn’t born especially stylish, I didn’t emerge out of Hubert Givenchy’s forehead a fully formed Glamazon. But when I was younger and realized I didn’t really like who I was, I decided to…adjust.  I didn’t fundamentally change who I was any more than adding ginger instead of cinnamon to an apple pie recipes changes the fact it’s an apple pie. And now, my beloved little brother who knows me better than anyone does (Hi little brother! Love you! Thanks for shaving your goatee and not looking like a homeless viking anymore!) says he loves reading my blog because I write just exactly as I talk.

This is different than the idea of “fake it ’til you make it” because it’s not about pretending you’re something you’re not.

It’s about honing the things you have inside you that you like, and graciously ignoring those things that perhaps you don’t love as much, like putting on a flattering outfit, except if you sell an idea long enough, eventually it becomes true and people will accept those things –confidence, beauty, sex appeal, brains– at face value.

So don’t lose hope. If you’re not exactly who you want to be at fifteen –and who is?– don’t change your nature, just rebrand a little. Even if it’s just a tiny glimmer of something inside you, you can fan that flame into a big bonfire of kickassity (is that a word? I don’t think that’s a word. BUT, if I kept using it, soon other people would use it too, and then it would be a word.  See? It works everywhere.) Good luck!

Gin and Tonics,

Auntie Plumcake


  1. That’s not just great advice for a big girl, but for every girl. And boy, for that matter.

    Comment by Mrsbug — October 15, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

  2. I must be very credulous, because I take all net identities at face value, unless the author really throws in my face that they are an alter ego (such as ‘fake Steve Jobs’). Reading is more enjoyable that way. It’s the same as country music and novels–whether it’s true or not, why not just get into it and enjoy it, instead of playing sleuth?

    This has been a great series, Plumcake, not just for big girls, but for everyone. :)

    Comment by wildflower — October 15, 2010 @ 3:57 pm

  3. So now what does he look like? Just a viking or just homeless?

    Comment by GoP — October 16, 2010 @ 5:08 am

  4. Hey Plummy! I don’t know if you remember this one, but shortly after I started writing for this blog some other blog posited the theory that you, Francesca, and I were all one skinny guy named Jim in Macon, GA.

    I don’t know about you, but I’ve never even been to Georgia.

    Comment by Twistie — October 16, 2010 @ 5:13 pm

  5. YES. Some of the best advice I ever got was “behave like the person you want to be; in time, you will become that person”. It works for two reasons:

    1) your behavior affects both how you see yourself and how other people see you.
    2) if behaving like the person you want to be sucks, you stop wanting to be that person quite so badly.

    Unfortunately, the source of that advice also inadvertently provided the nudge that started me off on the path to an eating disorder. >:( (Not blaming that source; she didn’t cause it, and she didn’t mean to. She just planted an idea that my already-body-image-hurting mind ran away with.)

    Comment by Jess — October 17, 2010 @ 3:13 pm

  6. @Twistie: How fab! I love Maconga (apparently that’s what the locals call it) it’s a great town and two of my favorite people on the planet live there. I’m pretty sure I’m not a guy named Jim though.

    Comment by Plumcake — October 17, 2010 @ 4:36 pm

  7. @Plummy: My name isn’t Jim, either. In fact, it never has been.

    Comment by Twistie — October 18, 2010 @ 1:44 am

  8. I SO want kickassity to be a word. I want to use it everyday.

    Comment by Violet in Twilight — October 18, 2010 @ 10:59 pm

  9. I’ve always felt that this is the only way to succeed in life:

    “But when I was younger and realized I didn’t really like who I was, I decided to…adjust. ”

    We have to evolve and adjust as people to get ahead!

    Comment by Plus Size Lisa — October 21, 2010 @ 12:44 pm

  10. I always hated when people asked me “What are you going to be when you grow up?” How was I supposed to know. I find that we all make adjustments throughout life, and a little rebranding can do a lot of good.

    Comment by Plus Size Dorita — October 21, 2010 @ 12:46 pm

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