Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

October 20, 2010

The Big Question: Just the Perfect Blendship Edition

Filed under: The Big Question — Miss Plumcake @ 11:36 am

Hello my little cassowaries, how’s every little thing?

I’m gratified so many of you responded to the Letters to a Young Fat Girl series.  I’m semi-ambivalent about giving Meaningful Life Advice because last night (well, last night at the time of writing) I fell asleep in a hotel room somewhere in the beautiful hunt country of Virginia wearing nothing but a pair of Lane Bryant microstretch briefs and my fur coat and when I was greeted by the dawn, I was spooning an unopened bottle of 30 year-old Glenfiddich and that, generally speaking, is NOT the behavior of person from whom you should take instruction in the fine art of …well, doing much of anything other than maybe getting drool out of Eurasian lynx.

I’ve been on vacation for the past week and a half and although the beginning of my hols suckdiddlyucked the second half has been ten pounds of awesome in a five pound bag courtesy of my best friend Meg.

Once upon a time when dinosaurs ruled the earth and Justin Bieber was just a roofie in his mother’s mapletini, Meg and I met at the Shenandoah Conservatory of Music in a summer program for teenage musicians. We became fast friends in the way  young teenage girls do, swore allegiance for eternity –or the two weeks of camp, whichever came first– and after a cursory attempt to keep in touch after summer, fell out of contact.

Fast forward to the winter of 1998.

I’m a sophomore in college preparing my gourmet dinner of fishsticks and uh, fishticks in the dilapidated deathtrap glamorous confines of the very first Chateau Gateau when the phone rings.

It’s Meg.

I hadn’t heard from her for years, but in one of those fabulous bits of serendipity, she had been assigned to the exact dorm room I had occupied the year before and in the back of the closet was a brick doorstop with just my first –relatively unusual– name on it. She got her Nancy Drew on, tracked me down and we’ve lived happily ever after.

Sure we’ve had our rough patches, but she’s a once-in-a-lifetime pal and I wouldn’t trade her for a guided tour of Daniel Craig’s swim trunks, even if he was in them at the time.

Today Miss Plumcake wants to know:

Tell me all about your best girlfriend. How did you meet, what do you love about her? Got a fun adventure you’ve shared? I want to hear about that too!


  1. My best friend Wendy and I met at birth, hers specifically. My mom and dad are her mom and dad’s best friends, and we were waiting for them when they came home from the hospital. Our families did everything together growing up, and I probably spent as many weekends at her house as at my own. We grew apart a bit through high school and college because we took different paths, but she’s great, because no matter how long we’ve been apart, we can call each other up and re-start any conversation we’d been having, keep each other apprised of current situations, and just plain dish dirt like nobody’s business. I’m so glad we live near each other again and have schedules that work together so we can go do things again. I’ve missed hanging out with her. She’s been the one to make me adventurous – gotten me to climb trees or get tattoos.

    Comment by Emi!y — October 20, 2010 @ 12:22 pm

  2. My friend and I met roughly 14 years ago in Texas (where I was living at the time). We have sons who are the same age and were in the same activities for special needs kids. We’ve stayed friends though I have moved far far away. I am so very lucky because she can now afford to travel and she’s taken me with her. This year we’ve spend a spa weekend in Miami and last week spent an extended weekend in Vermont on horseback. We are already planning on returning to Vermont with our families next summer; and then perhaps a ladies-only trip to Ireland. We’ve loved sharing the good time and supported each other through the horrible times as well. I am so lucky to have her in my life since she keeps me sane most days. Or at least mostly sane some days!

    Comment by jfsnyder — October 20, 2010 @ 12:43 pm

  3. Since you’re in hunt country right now, you’ll appreciate this: We met at the barn. I was the new girl, waiting in the parking lot for my riding instructor, and she rode up bareback with another girl behind her. The other girl had fallen off and they didn’t realize the horse would come home. They had looked for him for an hour, and they were dismayed when my instructor told her he had already returned to the barn. My bestie got a little snotty about the instructor’s exasperation, and my first impression of my best friend was that she was kind of a brat and not too bright. She had other best friends at the barn, but our friendship grew slowly over two years, and I’ve had a clear lead for the past thirteen years. ;-)

    What do I love about her? I love the sound of her laugh and that she’s the one person who understands me but still has a different perspective.

    Comment by Karen — October 20, 2010 @ 1:01 pm

  4. My friend K and I have had some adventures. Back in 2000 we had a big chick trip to Vancouver, Canada, for her baby shower weekend. About ten of us went. I drove up to our hotel garage, her in the passenger seat, and we sat there for a while not knowing what was going on or why the car in front of us was empty. She got out and asked another man standing around if the car in front of us was his. He said, “Does that LOOK like my fucking car?” She snarled back “How the FUCK would I know what your fucking car looks like?” and I’m thinking Oh god, I’ve got to beat this guy up because she’s seven months pregnant. I got out, we all exchanged “pleasantries” for a couple of minutes, and then the driver of the car in front of us showed up. It sure was awkward the next day when the guy wound up in the hotel’s elevator with us! I gave dude the stinkeye but K couldn’t stop laughing. It was a fun weekend!

    Comment by Harri P. — October 20, 2010 @ 1:16 pm

  5. I think my favorite friend story (sorry, I have more than one BFF, I am greedy that way) is my friend Gwyn and I. She was a new grad student at my undgrad school but we were both in the same service fraternity (co-ed frats RULE!). During the announcements part of the meeting she stood and introduced herself and also invited anyone who was interested to an English Country dance practice. At this point I turned around and said “Are YOU the new dance mistress?” because it turned out we were both also in the same historical reenactment group as well!

    We hit it off immediately and even ended up living together for a while. She is still a rock in my life and I try my hardest to be there for her. I am Auntie B to her two adorable moppets as she is truly the sister of my heart.

    Comment by Miss B — October 20, 2010 @ 2:26 pm

  6. My bestest friend EVAH is a tomboy named Alison, my lovely Ali-cat. I met her 4 years ago when we worked together for the gov’mint. We shared a cigarette, Imade a Breakfast Club reference, and we have been together since. She is my babies’ godmother, my confidante, the only one on Earth who never judges me.

    She hates shopping, she wears tennis shoes with her jeans, she insists on pulling her gorgeous blonde hair back into a bun. She’ll share a gallon of wine with me, she helps me shop for cars, she smiles like sunshine, and she helped a linebacker of a man try on my bra at my bachelorette party (at which she also drove me home, held my hair back as I lost my cookies, and carried me into bed).

    I am fairly certain I could handle the death of my husband better than losing my ALi-cat.

    Comment by rebecca — October 20, 2010 @ 2:26 pm

  7. My best friend’s name is Flo. It’s not short for anything; just Flo. We met as 14 year olds, when we were competing against each other as figure skaters. Initially I didn’t like her (then again, she was some chick I’d never heard of who’d whooped me quite soundly), but within a year we were besties. It’s been nearly a decade, and the funny thing is we’ve never even lived in the same time zone, but it doesn’t matter. We talk almost every day, and try to see each other at least once a year.

    We’re as close as possible to being the same person, but I admire those aspects in her I wish I had more of. She has always been so very much her own person, and completely unapologetic about it. She has the most fabulous sense of style, and is one of those people who lights up a room with her energy.

    Comment by SarahDances — October 20, 2010 @ 4:06 pm

  8. Erin and I have now known each other for 25 years as we met at the tender age of 17 during our orientation week at college. I finagled sitting next to her in the cafeteria because I thought she looked so cool and New Wave. As we talked we, as she puts it, discovered we’d been leading parallel lives. Even now people always think we’re sisters.

    I admire how outgoing and friendly and creative she is. I’m so grateful to have someone who I can be honest with even when what I’m expressing goes against the norms of society. She makes me laugh like crazy and is able to share in my very dark sense of humor. She’s also a terrific travel companion as we both enjoy museums, shopping, and having a nice sit-down and a snack.

    One of our best stories is a crazy trip to England that included a B&B where the old guy at the front desk wanted to tell us vaguely dirty stories at 3:30am, running into the same German tourist 3 times in the course of a week, winding up at a bachelor party full of Welsh guys, being over-run with French teenagers, a skinhead Tube driver and his ginger-haired locksmith friend who gets no respect, and a restaurant where we ordered chicken in a cheeky lemon sauce.

    I’m ready for the next 25+ years.

    Comment by KellyGirl — October 20, 2010 @ 6:12 pm

  9. My best friend and I met in 5th grade, in one of those unusual bouts of impulsive brashness that I always have when I meet someone who is going to be immensely important in my life. We were in the same class and had barely said a word to one another–she thought I was scary, as I’d borrowed my cousin’s goth dress and she’d seen me yelling at a butterfly; I thought she was strange and overly-energetic what with her near-constant cartwheeling–when out of the blue I looked her up in the phone book and just called her. And immediately began to poke fun at her name. Maybe it was because we were both tall.

    In any case, we were inseparable from then on. When her family moved to another state, she stayed with me for a month after they officially moved, and on school breaks our parents would meet halfway between our houses and we’d spend half the time at one house, then the other. When it came time for college, I moved so we could go to the same one. To borrow from a comic we were both obsessed with as 12-year-olds, we’re “sisters in all but blood.” Or as Jay and Silent Bob would say, she’s my “hetero life-partner.”

    Comment by Catrina — October 20, 2010 @ 6:18 pm

  10. My BFF is a girl named Gillian. We met in Germany in 2004. We were both au pairs in the area, probably the only Americans in like a 50 mile radius (at least that is how people acted when they found out where we were from) and just happened to be signed up for the same German language class. I walked in and she took one look at me and said “You’re an American!”. We became fast friends after that.

    Her host family helped me out a lot during the months I lived there (my host family was awful, still get a bit twitchy when I think about them). I owe it to her that I am not in a German prison somewhere for murder…We returned to the states within about 2 weeks of each other (Me to VA, her to Long Island, NY). I quickly found a job as a live in nanny in CT (2 hours away from her and with a fab family) and moved to NE for the next 2 years.

    When my job ended there and I FINALLY decided to go to college (fashionably late…) I moved back to VA very sad to leave my best friend. We kept in touch, me going up to visit her and her coming down to visit me. I don’t remember how it all came about but she decided to also go back to school and I (jokingly in the beginning) told her she should move down here (VA) and come to school with me! Maybe its my epic power of persuasion (or she need to leave $$$ Long Island) but she did!!! Now I’m a senior at JMU (she will enroll next semester) and she is my roommate in the hell whole we call our first apartment. We hate our apartment (anyone who knows Harrisonburg- Devon lane, ICK) and are constantly out of money but I couldn’t ask for a better roommate.

    As she says, the reason we get along is that we are enough alike (“our crazies match”) but yet different enough that we don’t want to kill each other. Plus we have totally different tastes in guys which I really think is key when girls live together…

    Comment by Jeni — October 20, 2010 @ 7:01 pm

  11. @Jeni: Meg and I were both assigned to room 522 in Shorts!

    Comment by Plumcake — October 20, 2010 @ 8:21 pm

  12. I am surprised mine didn’t delurk to comment! But then, we both use RSS, so I guess it isn’t too surprising.

    I have no clear memory of meeting Miranda–we went to preschool together, so in my head she’s just always been there. We went to different middle schools, which was hard, but she lived a few blocks away just on the other side of the district line, so she was always there for me. She moved to Kentucky for parts of high school, and as we are Texas born and bred this was a disaster! But I got lucky and we ended up going to college together and being roommates after.

    I was her maid of honor, she’ll be my matron. I think I’m like the girl above–I’d rather lose my partner than my Miranda. She’s been with me longer and those roots are stubbornly deep.

    Comment by Katie — October 21, 2010 @ 12:32 am

  13. @Plumcake I (thank GOD) avoided dorm life but I know where you’re talking about. How you managed to live in such a small room (and with another person) without killing people I’d love to know. I need space to roam baby! Plus I realized Id need a completely separate room for my clothes…

    Comment by Jeni — October 21, 2010 @ 8:54 am

  14. My best girlfriend, Erika, was my sorority kid at college. I met her in English class – I think Shakespeare Tragedies I or something. My friends in class and I were all seniors, and she was a freshman, but we loved her because hiding behind the sweet exterior was someone as snarky as us! She fit right in, and she and I became close.

    I moved to Colorado after college, and then Ohio, but she and I have kept in touch. Just last month I got to see her for the first time since she graduated college, and meet her kindergarten-age son in real life for the first time. I was worried that we wouldn’t have much in common anymore, but we finished each other’s thoughts and picked out the same shoes from opposite sides of the clearance rack!

    Recently we have become even closer, and what makes her such an important friend to me is that we can talk about ANYTHING and give each other well-considered, considerate advice. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she calls me as I am drafting her a text message!

    Comment by Jennie — October 21, 2010 @ 9:22 am

  15. My best friend *sigh* I dont know how on earth I would live without her ! We met YEARS ago while she was dating my high school friend , Roby (who she is now married to and has 2 beautiful lil girls with) . We hit it off right away , which was odd bc she and my then besty , hated each other (long story) . We have been friends ever sense ! We have been through so much crap together , some very bad times and LOTS and LOTS of really good ones . Other than my hubby , shes the best friend I have ever had . She knows everything about me and vis versa . Shes onea those ppl I can tell the things I think about , that I would otherwise not dare say out loud . LOL . Every year on our birthdays we get togather (which is sometimes a trick , being she lives almost 3 hours away) have a few …or several , drinks and dance around naked in the yard in the middle of the night . LOL . This year on her birthday , it rained and well , we did it anyway and had a TON of fun , roll in the grass like a 5 year old , laugh so hard your belly hurts fun . I have to say , I would’t do that with ANY of my other girlfriends ! She is undoubtedly my sister from another mister <3

    Comment by Dawn — October 21, 2010 @ 3:51 pm

  16. I met my best friend online back before AOL. We realized that we’d lived parallel lives in LA and had known the same people, gone to the same clubs and probably the same parties – but never met, and probably would have hated each other since she was a punk/goth at the time and I was dripping in vintage store pearls and sequin twin sets.

    When we did meet, it was 10 years later and we were both fundraisers at major universities – her on the East Coast and me on the West.

    We saw each other thru bad relationships, busted relationships and no relationships.

    She makes me laugh and cheers me on and is my biggest supporter. She would probably back over anyone who hurt me twice (just to make sure they’re dead) and the feeling is utterly mutual.

    One of my best memory is on a road trip to Canada when I watched her fix her car while wearing a Regency ball gown. Or the time we spent the afternoon leafing thru the September Vogue together, on the phone, long distance.

    She is mom to the daughters I’ll never have and don’t need to – cause I’ve got hers.

    We’ve never lived in the same city, and sometimes the different time zones, but we’re family.

    Comment by Thea — October 22, 2010 @ 6:14 pm

  17. Sofy and I met sometime during the first week of high school. I remember her as being in my Italian class and us just clicking as we conjugated essere. But she remembers me walking up to her and introducing myself as we waited for the doors to open on the first day of school as she was on the verge of a panic attack. During that time my house was kind of a refuge for my friends who would show up with me on Friday nights and sometimes not leave until Monday morning when we would all go to school. Most of my friends at the time were not so well off as I was and our little house among the trees was a break from divorcing parents, city noise, and rough neighborhoods. Sofy became a fixture in our house with chores and duties and my parents still refer to her as their “other daughter.”

    I love Sofy’s laugh, her sense of humor, the way we finish each other’s sentences, and how she keeps me from getting stuck in a rut. She’s like my cooler, artier, funner alter-ego. We’ve got big plans or we used to involving world travel and goats and things. She helps me to see things differently and it kills me that we live so far apart currently. She is almost a part of me and is at the same level in my internal hierarchy as my husband is. I couldn’t get on without either of them.

    Comment by Sara A. — October 22, 2010 @ 9:05 pm

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