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The Monday Hotness: La Furia Roja Edition (part 1) | Manolo for the Big Girl

The Monday Hotness: La Furia Roja Edition (part 1)

If you know anything about your pal Plummy you know I love three things: Fashion, football and shirtless men I don’t have to talk to.*

Lucky for me, these three worthy pursuits have come together to form the sort of tripartite hotness spectacular that usually can be created only in laboratory conditions using highly theoretical mathematics, super computers and flecks of Jose Mourinho’s man-tan.

That’s right, I’m talking about the Spanish National Team’s new kit, which debuts today and was preceded by what I feel comfortable in calling the single greatest contribution to the visual arts since Michelangelo decided that popcorn finish looked a bit slapdash.

Hat tip to the gentlemen and scholars of The Beautiful Gear.

For those of you who just got off the boat from Mars, Spain won the World Cup back in July against the Filthy Filthy Dutch. You may recall Spain Captain Iker Casillas as star of the previous Monday Hotness and the one off Monday Adorableness some months back (for those of you who don’t know why I hate the Filthy Filthy Dutch or how I dated my first professional footballer this is essential reading) or how I wanted to rub a pat of butter on referee Howard Webb’s head for my birthday.

If you’ve never seen him in action, look at this clip that just about makes me want to DIE:Basically this weekend Real Madrid had a game against another Spanish club and the managers don’t like each other very much –the manager for Real Madrid being Jose Mourinho aka “The Special One” who is like the Karl Lagerfeld of football and a very divisive character– so there was much hissing and booing and Throwing of Things, including a balled up piece of newspaper.

Because that’s a good idea.

SURELY someone who CATCHES THINGS FOR A LIVING, and in fact does what he does better than ANYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET AS RECENTLY PROVED IN THE BIGGEST SPORTING EVENT IN THE WORLD would never, you know, CATCH THE NEWSPAPER.

GOD competence is so sexy.

SO in honor of Spain’s new jerseys and the dedicated return of the Monday Hotness I will give you the ENTIRE 2010 Spanish National Team over the next two weeks:

There’s no better place to start with our beloved keeper,Saint Iker who has made Monday Hotness history today by being the first man to score a hat trick of hotnesses (hotnii?)

Next we have defenders Carles Puyol (bless his heart, they can’t all be Beckham pretty)

and Gerard “Senor Crazypants” Pique who may in fact be insane.

(poor dear has gnawed through the leash again)
You can’t really expect much from defenders in the ways of bringing the pretty. They’re like the drummers of the football world. Sure you need them to get the job done, but you know they’re just going to end up getting inappropriate fluids on your couch.

Sergio Ramos, like Puyol, is a brilliant footballer with Very Bad Hair. Instead of showing you one of the myriad photos of him in his stupid Mary Kate Olsen headband (and I’m not even emotionally prepared to address the Unfortunate Cornrow Incident), we’ll go for this more, uh, casual shot.

I know what you’re thinking: Gingham?

Stay tuned next week for even more Roja hotness!

*Also Scotch, but the doctor said I’m not supposed to have Scotch for a while. He made no mention of shirtless foreign men.

9 Responses to “The Monday Hotness: La Furia Roja Edition (part 1)”

  1. The Accidental Tangoiste November 15, 2010 at 4:37 pm #

    Oh my goodness. Would someone please be a dear and bring me a glass of ice water?

  2. Plumcake November 15, 2010 at 4:47 pm #

    @Tangoiste: help yourself, but hands off Xavi and St Iker!

  3. K November 15, 2010 at 5:04 pm #

    As both a fatshionista and a Madridista, I LOVE your comparison of Mou to Lagerfield (and heartily approve of your love affair with San Iker).

  4. Plumcake November 15, 2010 at 5:12 pm #

    @K: It’s sort of perfect, right? He’s fantastic! Be champions!

  5. Frances November 15, 2010 at 6:21 pm #

    I keep thinking I hate the Spanish football team, then I remember it’s really their basketball and tennis teams that I hate.

    Iker is a deliciously muscled cupcake, and I love his politics too.

    True story: I was such a footie fan til Spain lost to South Korea in the World Cup. I cried my eyes out and never watched it again. I distinctly remember sobbing down the phone to my friend about how it “wasn’t fair”. Ay.

  6. Eilish November 15, 2010 at 8:44 pm #

    I just…I love you. I’ve denied myself for too long. Let us run away together so we can drool over Spanish footballers with those that understand our mad obsession!

  7. klee November 15, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

    Oh, I feel MUCH better now, thank you

  8. Camo November 15, 2010 at 10:46 pm #

    I LOVED watching Puyol et al. during the World Cup! He looks like he should be on the drums in a Rush cover band.

    I love the hotness here and forthcoming, but I really developed some dark, wretched desires about the delicious Uruguayan Diego Forlan this past summer. Pale eyes, strong nose, Goody-type headband…and a serious, seriously gorgeous underwear model girlfriend. Of course.