Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

January 19, 2011

F(l)at Foot Week! Fat and Flat

Filed under: Shoes — Miss Plumcake @ 12:26 pm

Okay gang, I’m interrupting our regularly scheduled Flat Foot Week post –that’ll go up later this afternoon– with a quickie about fat and flat feet, arch support and what we can realistically expect from a contemporary fashion shoe.

In a perfect and reasonable universe, all shoes would come with decent arch support regardless of design or price. Alas, we live in a broken and sinful world and our arches suffer, particularly big girls.

My arches were never nosebleedingly high to begin with and a combination of fatliness and accidentally falling down a flight of stairs are breaking both my feet endowed me with what I gently refer to as a “firm understanding with the ground.” They’re not flat, but they’re not far off. That being said, they don’t bother me.

Any foot pain I have can generally be categorized under: Damn Fault, My Own.

Because frankly, any girl who nearly harelips hell to find these shoes in a size 41:

Gets all the foot pain she has coming to her.

It’s been my experience that most fashion shoes do not come with any sort of useful arch support. Regardless of price point, it’s style over substance (or support) nine times out of ten. So you could Complain On The Internet –always a valid choice– or you could, you know, quit whining and just buy some damn inserts.

As far as I’m concerned most of those foam-type inserts suckdiddlyuck.

The only inserts I’ve ever used and loved are the WalkFit plastic jobbers and I swear by them. Those things rock my face off, although –word to the wise– they can hurt the first few days you use them. They come with three arch inserts so you can adjust it for your footly needs. I’ve got low arches so I generally use the lowest insert.

At about twelve bucks a pair, it’s well worthwhile to have a few sets around. Think of it like getting your pants tailored. Yeah it sucks because you just had to pay God-knows-how-much for the pants and now you need to throw MORE money to make them Just Right, but those are the breaks and it’ll save you the trouble of having to worry about whether this shoe or that has support, because you’ll come with your own.

January 18, 2011

Fat Foot Week! Five Great: Flats for the Fat of Foot

Filed under: Five Great...,Flats,Wide-width Shoes — Miss Plumcake @ 12:55 pm

Okay, well it’s Fat Foot Week and there’s no better place to start than the bottom. Flats. Love ’em or hate ’em, a girl’s gotta have at least a pair. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t have any personal experience with most of the brands we’re going to be dealing with today, so caveat emptor and whatnot.

First up are these little “Neve” ankle-strap skimmers from Gabriella Rocha. I’ve never worn any of her shoes, but they’re pretty cute and modern-looking, with good lines and fun colors. We’ll be seeing more of them this week.

Next is the Geneva from Romantic Soles. They come in a mess of colors, but the beige looks very much like the Chanel and Delman flats with the sculpted leather flowers on the vamp, both of which I’ve always liked.

Speaking of Chanel, you can definitely see the Coco influence in the cap-toe “Buffy” by Fitzwell. They’re all man-made materials so these might be a good pick for those of you who don’t like to wear leather.

Also animal friendly are the “Gable” slip-ons from Annie that come in wide and double wide. They come in five colors, but I like the purple velvet suede treatment the best.

Finally we have the grossly misnamed “Burlesque” from Hush Puppies. These are the exact sort of shoes that people go nuts over because they think they have some sort of “naughty librarian” thing going on and I just have to shut up and try not to make faces because I just.don’t.get.it. But here they are and they come in narrow, medium, wide and double wide so have at ’em.

Fat Foot Week: The Preamble

Filed under: Stuart Weitzman makes 'em wider,Wide-width Shoes — Miss Plumcake @ 8:00 am

I’ve always felt guilty for not writing about wide-width shoes.

Here I am, slingin’ verbs for Manolo the Shoeblogger, I own…well I don’t know how many shoes, but I can see <countcountcount> 14 pair and six stragglers, and that’s just on the baby grand I spite-bought a few years ago because you know, I’m mature like that.

Anyway, I’ve got fat feet, the best or maybe second-best (Style Spy still probably beats me) shoe collection of anyone I know, and a whole awesome audience full of women who just want pretty shoes to fit their fat feet. It ought to be a no-brainer.

Yeah. Well.

You know how there are writers who do research and write complex, beautifully articulated prose? Yeah. Those people are suckers. I’ve been at a newspaper since I was 22 and still I resent having to Google, so funk that unbiased reportage noise. I am at heart a gonzo journalist. If I can’t talk about it from personal experience, I’m probably not gonna talk about it at all.

Because this is a personality-driven blog I really only feel comfortable recommending things I’d put on myself or someone I styled. I have a hard time pulling a piece for the blog that –however cute– doesn’t meet my personal quality standards. It just seems like dirty pool, particularly if I’m in the position to make a buck off it. It’s like “Oh I wouldn’t ever wear that rag, but it’s fine for you, since you’re infinitely less glamorous and stylish than I could ever be. Thanks for the cash though!” I mean I’m a jerk, but I’m not THAT big a jerk.

And yet.

I know not everyone has a ton of discretionary income to toss around. I certainly don’t and I don’t have kids or a mortgage or a scorching coke habit to deal with. It’s just me and the dog, and the dog is used. So while I know some folks read the blog as aspirational, I never intended to be that way.

When I first started writing for the blog, I wrote about my life; my stuff, my shoes, my utter incapability of maintaining a healthy adult relationship with a man who is in possession of both an American passport and his marbles. You know, the whole rich Plumcake pageantry. I purposefully didn’t make this an aspirational blog because honestly, unless you yearn to wake up in your shower naked except for fake hair, a roll of tin foil and a pair of cowboy boots (true story, 27th birthday party) I’m really not much of an aspirational figure. (No, I don’t know where the tin foil came from, but I do seem to recall a very short gay man holding my hair on while I danced. That happens to you guys too, right?)

So what does this have to do with fat feet?

Basically this: It’s slim pickings when it comes to wide shoes I’d actually buy. Aside from the aesthetic aspect, I don’t wear shoes made in countries known for sweatshop labor (you pick your battles, this is one of mine.) That pretty much leaves us with Stuart Weitzman and Salvatore Ferragamo and since I don’t wear Ferragamo, I’d pretty much be posting the same half-dozen Stewies over and over again. No one wants that.

Yet, like a baby in a tumble dryer, I can only ignore your cries for so long. You want wide width shoes, you’re gettin’ em. All week long. That being said, these get the Plumcake Seal of Approval on design alone. I don’t have experience with the brands. I’ve never touched ’em, held ’em, tried ’em on. You’re on your own out there, ducklings. Make your own call.

January 16, 2011

A Way to Help

Filed under: This Week In Fat Blogging — Twistie @ 1:46 pm

The image above is from the flooding in Brisbane, Australia. The images have been scary, but the reality of the devastation is far worse. People have lost their homes, their businesses, their clean water and electricity, and some have lost their lives.

If you want to help with this – or with another great cause, hie thee over to Fat Heffalump where the glorious and charming Sleepy Dumpling is raising money.

A couple months ago, Sleepy Dumpling announced that she was going to shave her head for charity later in January. The original plan was to raise money for the Cancer Council of Australia, and the money she has raised thus far is still going there. But in light of the flooding (which came precariously close to where she lives, but missed her), she wishes to donate any further funds raised to the Queensland Flood Appeal.

Please, if you have funds to spare, consider this excellent cause.

January 14, 2011

Your Weekly-ish Humpletter

Filed under: Accessories,Cheap Thrills,Cold Weather Coats and Cozies,Deals and Steals,Sales,Swimwear,Your Weekly Humpletter — Miss Plumcake @ 10:02 am

Hello my little heffalumps and woozles, it’s time for the return of the Weekly –by which I mean “When I can be bothered”– Humpletter (not strictly speaking ON Humpday, but it is humpy in spirit) highlighting steals and deals from the fatosphere and beyond.  There are some doozies to be had this week, so let’s get on with the show. And as always, I feel I ought to remind you that I do not Run The Internet (yet) so prices might have changed, stock been depleted, blah blah blah.

SWAK Designs are having their Pink Hanger Sale now through January 17th. Lots of trendy pieces to be had, many under $10. My picks? This shawl collar cardi and black bib necklace
.

The Avenue is having its Final Winter Sale with hundreds of items more than 50% off. My picks: ruched hem chino crops and a gunmetal sequined pencil skirt, both perfect paired with a slouchy cardigan and an aggressive, architectural heel.

Over at 6pm.com we’ve got a huge handbag sale, up to 80% off.  I’m digging the orange eel clutch from Be & D and the purple polished leather hobo from BCBGMaxazria, that are 76% and 70% off, respectively.



more sales after the jump!
(more…)

January 13, 2011

How to Wear It: Jeggings

Filed under: Advanced Fashion,Boots,How To Wear It — Miss Plumcake @ 8:31 am

Let me be clear: I hate the word jeggings.

Usually it’s a crapshoot whether fashion portmanteaux stick or not. Remember when they were trying to make “shooties” happen? It failed, as well it should. However, it looks like we’re stuck with jeggings so we might as well deal.

Jeggings are leggings that are supposed to look like jeans. They are like skinny jeans on speed and as such should be approached with great fear and trembling. Also, it is important to remember that just as Tights Are Not Pants and Leggings Are Not Pants, Jeggings Are Not Pants. They are closer to pants than traditional leggings and tights, but just like making out with your third cousin is not technically as wrong as making out with your first cousin, it’s still something that’s best avoided, even in emergencies.

I have never been a fan of the skinny jean on big girls because it’s such a tricky look to deploy. Big girls, like Tolstoy’s unhappy families are all big (or unhappy) in different ways. Yet back in October my bff Meghan, who was also a plus-size model and is even more beautiful than I am (if you can imagine such a thing), was not just wearing but actively rocking jeggings. My tiny world was turned upside down.

I was tempted.

Finally, after serious and measured consideration –let it not be said that anyone, myself included, gets into my pants without effort– I caved. I’d just purchased two pair tall boots from DUO, the over-the-knee (though foldable for when the OTK look is out) Tulip in black suede and the possibly sold out Rochelle in a gorgeous cognac leather and I really did need an incredibly slim-cut jean to wear with them.


No, I didn’t get them in purple suede. There is a very particular type of woman who can get away with wearing over-the-knee purple suede boots. I am not that type of woman.

So on the advice of Meghan, I picked up a pair of the Lane Bryant knit jeggings. Rumor has it these are about to be discontinued in favor for jeggings without a functional fly so if you want a pair, get them with a quickness.

They are surprisingly good. Unfortunately, you pretty much have to be tall and have shapely legs to make these work.

I hate saying this because I’m tall and have shapely legs and I feel like it’s saying “I can wear this, but you can’t.” But if you’re short and round, this might not be a great look for you. On the other hand, you’ve got miniskirts and the adorable thing going on, plus you get all the tall guys so you’re just gotta let us have this one.

On the bright side –I’m talking to you, apples– if you ARE reasonably tall and have reasonably shapely legs, it doesn’t matter what you’ve got going on up top, you can rock the jegging and look great doing it.

The trick is careful shoe selection. (more…)

January 12, 2011

Elements of Style: Too Hip For The Room

Filed under: Elements of Style — Miss Plumcake @ 12:23 pm

Today we’re going to learn about the phrase “Too hip for the room.”

Comics use it to describe what happens when they die on stage, not because the material is bad, but because it wasn’t the right material –generally too sophisticated– for their audience. If you’ve got a fart joke crowd and you start making Schopenhauer gags, you’re going to get a bottle thrown at your head.

I think you see where I’m going with this.

While yes, it’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed, being too hip for the room is a pit into which even the most seasons fashionista –and I’m including myself– can occasionally fall.

Case in point:

New Year’s Eve is amateurs’ night, and if I didn’t have an annual tradition of celebrating it at Beerland (the happiest place on earth) with two of my dearest friends, I would stay home in my underpants and Barcelona jersey painting my nails, the way Leo Messi and the Good Lord intended it.

But a girl’s gotta make an effort and since I was planning on seeing the impeccable Lady Bunny (and if you’re not imagining a choir of hot houseboy angels singing upon mention of her name, you’re clearly a broken person and I feel sorry for you) the next night at Oilcan Harry’s, I wanted to test run my outfit.

The outfit was as follows:

-a beautiful pair of tobacco brown slim-cut suede “cargo” pants
-a black, Elizabeth Taylor-style lace-top slip
-my favorite push up bra
-a blonde mink stole
-my big Cleopatra necklace

You might have noticed there wasn’t a shirt mentioned. The slip+bra was enough, with the mink for warmth and upper-arm coverage. It was a variation on an outfit I wore to Towndanceboutique a reunion night of the legendary Velvet Nation in DC with great success in October.

The outfit was great: a flawlessly executed combination of hard/soft and high/low and I looked SMOKIN’.

HOWEVER.

I was too hip for the room.

I gauged my audience incorrectly.

What is a perfect acceptable level of rackitude for a gay disco where ain’t nobody interested in your ladybidness except the occasional seven foot-tall drag queen named Cookie who just has to check if they’re real (what? I’m tall and wear big jewelry, mistakes are bound to happen) is way, WAY too my cleavage for a straight club full of drunk dudes.

I still looked great, but I was too hip for the room and had entirely too much of the wrong sort of attention the whole night, to the point where my friends’ hugely tall and gallant husband literally had to orbit around me with his arms out to get the crazies to leave me alone.

Don’t let this happen to you.

There’s nothing wrong with being the best dressed person in the room (except if you’re at a wedding or trying to sleep with someone else’s husband) but know your audience, and if you’re going to overshoot it, do it thoughtfully. Don’t be too hip for the room.

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