Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

March 27, 2011

Twistie Recommends Some Films

Filed under: Media,Movies — Twistie @ 8:30 am

I believe I may have once or twice mentioned that I have a great fondness for movies, both good and bad. And since I’m feeling in a movie kind of mood,  I thought I would suggest a few for your various viewing pleasure and a brief, terrifying glimpse into my psyche. If you have any other good views to suggest, go to it in comments. I always enjoy hearing about things I may have missed while I was saving up to visit the popcorn stand.

The films in question are on no special theme and are listed in no particular order. They’re just five films I’ve been watching and thinking about of late.

March 22, 2011

What Miss Plumcake is…

Hello my little bourbon biscuits, it’s Tuesday and while I am wandering about the hills and dales of the Emerald Isle with my two besties, I thought I’d take a minute and share with you an Irish-tinged edition of What Miss Plumcake is…

Reading: The Complete Short Stories of Oscar Wilde If all you know of Wilde are his pithy quotes and frothy plays (both of which are still highly recommended) you owe it to yourself to check out some of his no-foolin’ literatoor. Beautiful, tender and razor sharp, these are some of my favorite short stories. Half Daudet and half Kipling, it’s all brilliant.

Watching: The Commitments I was just learning to play the saxophone when this film about a bunch of misfits from Dublin and their dream of blue-eyed soul stardom came out and I fell in love. Even if you saw it years ago, rent it and be reminded what a great flick it is.

Hearing: U2 – Achtung Baby I’m just going to go ahead and say that the seventh studio album from Bono and the lads is the most important pop album of the 90’s.

Smelling: Vol de Nuit by Guerlain I’m wearing the vintage, which is even more heartbreakingly beautiful, this 1933 creation by Jacques Guerlain was an homage to Antoine Saint-Exupery (yes, the Little Prince guy) and his novel, Vol de Nuit. On me Vol de Nuit is a pale butter daffodil floating in a cup of softly spiced milk tea. Unusual comfort at its best.

Loving: Funnel-necked peacoat Until last week I didn’t have a coat. It doesn’t get very cold in Texas so usually I either wear my vintage blonde mink stole or my lynx stoller. However, I figured it would be a bit nippy here in Eire and I thought maybe it would behoove me to get some sort of outwear that didn’t once have a mother and a dream. I picked this up for a song from Lane Bryant and I just love it. I’ve never worn double-breasted before, but it looks great and is a fantastic spring coat. Word to the wise: apparently the buttons fall off easily. I reinforced mine before I left across the pond and haven’t had any problems at all.

Hating:  Stupid Giraffe-print Bag So when did this become attractive? Because this is not attractive. I’ve been seeing these things for YEARS and I just cannot TAKE it anymore. This is not a good bag! The original, which is Dooney and Bourke (and why would you even knock off Dooney and Bourke? That’s like knocking off Juicy Couture.) is bad but at least it’s potentially well-made. These are just AWFUL. So please. Stop buying them. They’re not hip, they’re not clever. They’re just dreadful.

Wanting: Let ‘Em Hang soccer boot shirt from Studs Up Football Club Oversharing time. I’m pretty good about being friends with my exes. One of my favorites played in Serie A for seven years and is an all around good egg. Obviously he was great looking (mama, as previously mentioned, does not do ugly)and we still see each other occasionally, but the only time I ever regret relegating him to the friend zone is when he walks around with his boots hung around his neck. Do I find the strung boots look hot because it is sexy on its own merit or is it a product of conditioning? The world may never know, but I do know this is a piece of class kit and it needs to go into Miss Plumcake’s personal collection with a quickness.

Buying: Revlon Hushed Blush nail color Why do I always forget Revlon makes great nail colors? It’s been a million years since I’ve bought anything but OPI or Essie, but I picked up this understated blushed rosewood color when I couldn’t find my beloved Kreme de la Kremlin and have been twitterpated ever since. Is the product as good as OPI? No, not really, but the color’s great and there’s no reason a well-applied manicure with Hushed Blush won’t last you a week.

March 20, 2011

Americans Still ZOMG! Fat… But We’re Living Longer Than Ever

Filed under: Health — Twistie @ 11:20 am

That’s right, we haven’t lost weight as a nation, but our life expectancy has just reached a new high. According to the Associated Press, the life expectancy of a child born in the US in 2009 is seventy-eight years, two months. That’s up from the kid of 2008 who could expect to live just seventy-eight years, zero months. But hey, at least that’s up from the seventy-seven years, eleven months statistic that was caused by a computer glitch, apparently.

Let’s see… we haven’t gotten thinner in the past year. So what has changed? Well, deaths are down in ten of the fifteen leading causes, including: heart disease, stroke, cancer, Alzheimer’s, homicide, accidents, and influenza and pneumonia.

Unfortunately, suicide made the top ten causes of death list for the first time since 1999. This, however, is not due to a major upswing in suicides, but rather the fact that blood infection deaths dropped by some two per cent.

Of course the news isn’t equal for everyone. Women still live longer than men, whites longer than blacks, and let’s face it: money makes a big difference.

What isn’t making a big difference? Despite years of hand-wringing, weight doesn’t seem to be killing us off at record numbers. Even assertions like the ones made here aren’t killing us off. Not even this one:

People who are fat do not like to have an active social life, and keep themselves restricted inside their home because of the fear of being embarrassed with their obesity.

Guess I forgot about that last night when I went out with Mr. Twistie and four fat friends to listen to a favorite local band… and so did all the other fat people in the place. There was even (GASP! CONSTERNATION!) dancing. Even by fat people.

Yes, there’s stigma. There’s a whole freaking lot of stigma. But you know what? The best way to combat it is to live out in the world, doing things we love to do and giving the lie to the prejudice all around us. The best way to combat it is to freaking live like we mean it.

After all, if I can expect to live to be eighty (which isn’t in any way out of the question, knowing my family), I want to realize when I get down to my last days that I really, really lived. What’s the point in living a long life if you don’t do anything with it?

March 18, 2011

Your Weekly-ish Humpletter: Now Almost Never on Wednesdays!

Happy Friday everybahdy! I have been remiss in letting the weekly sales slip through my elegantly sausage-like fingers. Well no more!

At Lane Bryant you’ve got 30% your entire order until March 25th using code 000300384. I’m a big fan of the cargo jegging which is really more of a riding pant with cargo detailing than a legging. It’s surprisingly well-made and makes my legs look like ten miles of very good road.

I’m also digging the tissue-weight striped sweaters they’re practically giving away. They’re low cut but If you’ve got a defined waist and a good bust, this will be all about Brigitte Bardot on you.

From One Stop Plus you’ve got your choice of sales codes.

Use OSPCOUPON7 for 40% off a single item or OSPCOUPON8 for $20 off your $50 purchase, $25 off a $75 one and $30 off $100. Have you stocked up on slips? If not, now is the time. Whether you prefer shapers or full slips, get your underpinnings in order before those light spring dresses come out of the closet.

At  Avenue you can take 50% off your highest priced item using code JLE4473 and take 40% off your entire clearance purchase if you use code AV111081.

That’s right, you can double up on coupons. I’m liking this mini ottoman dress (get a better belt though, I’ve seen it in person) for your full-priced item and then clean up on denim with your clearance coupon.

If you’ve not been turned on to Amazon’s monthly $5 album downloads, you’re missing something good. There are some killers this month including The Velvet Underground & Nico, The Rolling Stones’ Let It Bleed,( featuring two of the most iconic album covers of all time. Everyone knows Andy Warhol’s “peel slowly and see” banana for Louie Blue and the VU, but far fewer people know the woman responsible for Keef’s cake was none other than Delia Smith)  OK Computer from Radiohead, Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On and The Score from the Fugees.

March 17, 2011

The Big Question: Green Beer Edition

Filed under: Holidays,The Big Question — Miss Plumcake @ 10:32 am

Considering I’m just a few days away from heading to the land of the leprechauns and liver failure,  I’ve never had that much of a yearning for the Emerald Isle. I like England, I like Scotland, I’m pretty sure I love Wales but Ireland? Meh. Never really thought about it.

Nor do I spend a lot of time thinking about St Patrick’s Day. He’s like my least favorite Celtic saint (Saint Cuthbert of Lindisfarne por vida, mijas!) plus St Patrick’s Day is right up there with New Year’s Eve, Halloween and Mardi Gras as the most amateur of amateur’s nights. And yet, we’ve all been there. We may not remember being there. But we have.

I’ve never actually been slizzered (see! I listen to the pop music!) on St Paddy’s, but I have been the designated driver of many who have, including one person when last I saw her was licking a clown’s bald head at the local expat Irish pub.

So today Miss Plumcake wants to know:

What is your best, by which I mean worse, St Patrick’s Day story? Change the names to protect the innocent…as if there are such things!

March 16, 2011

It’s Easy to Be Green

Filed under: Fashion History,Jewelry — Miss Plumcake @ 11:01 am

Gina Lollobrigida once asked “What’s the point of being beautiful if you have to buy your own emeralds?” and while I’m sure there’s a good answer out there, it still doesn’t change the fact that there are entirely too few people in the world who have made it their life’s mission to cover me in Bulgari.

So to tide us over until then –and in honor of Saint Patrick’s Day tomorrow– let’s have a little celebration of some seriously glam costume jewelry for the girl who finds it extremely easy to be green.

Kenneth Jay Lane Foiled Drop Earrings — this classic 80’s drop looks fresh and modern but not *shudder* ironic.

Kate Spade New York Palace of Mirrors Large Bib – life is too short for small jewelry and this proves it.

Kenneth Jay Lane Snake Cuff – Queen Victoria’s wedding band was a serpent. Cartier made them big in the belle epoque and beyond and KJL’s iterations in crystal and enamel have been iconic since the early 60’s.

Kendra Scott Sona Earrings – a little Paul Poiret, a little Edie S. What’s not to love?

Nicky Hilton Sterling Silver Bullet Earrings – I hate that these are good, but they are. I’m going to guess they’re copies of some Lalique earrings in the family vaults.

Privileged NYC Green Aqua Quartz Gold plated Branch Earrings Sweet little figurals manage to be both delicate and statement-making.

Kenneth Jay Lane Ergo Ring – Until that plover-egg emerald comes in, you could certainly console yourself with this.

Lilly Pulitzer Behind The Hedge Cuff – A little prep never hurt anyone, and you know I’m a sucker for basket weave.

Kenneth Cole New York “Urban Rock” Green Hoop With Gold Wrapping – I still maintain that Nice Girls Don’t Wear Hoops (go ahead and argue, it’s a cultural thing) but I’m awfully tempted to make an exception for these.

March 15, 2011

What Miss Plumcake is…

Filed under: Books,Dating,Intimates,Lingerie,Movies,Music,Perfume,What Miss Plumcake is — Miss Plumcake @ 10:45 am

Hello my little gangsters of love, how’s every little thing? I hope you all are recovered from yesterday’s Monday Hotness, because now it’s Tuesday and time to find out What Miss Plumcake is…

Reading: Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda – Dual Language Edition Do you want to know how good Pablo Neruda’s love poems are? They got me into a co…commi….into one of those things, with the two people and the feelings and the listening instead of replaying Gareth Bale’s jaw-dropping hat trick at the San Siro in your head until it’s your turn to talk again. That’s powerful mojo.

Watching: Turtles Can Fly I say watching because I can only get through about fifteen minutes at a time. The first movie filmed in Iraq after Hussein’s fall, it takes place on the eve of the American invasion and tells the story of 13 year-old Satellite and his young friends who clear minefields in a Kurdish refugee camp on the Turkish border. Equal parts Les 400 Coups, The Great Escape and Waiting for Godot, it’s not easy to watch but it’s as important a film that’s been made in the past decade.

Hearing: Cultura Profetica – DiarioHot hot babymakin’ reggae en Español. Sure back in college I owned Bob Marley “Legend” and watched The Harder They Come with a bunch of my trustafarian pals one night, but that’s about as far as I got. Until, of course, I get this dropped on me –in Spanish– by my…uh…person friend:

I would like to live in your legs
Creeping up you like ivy
Or sail the thousand leagues
fixed at the helm of your hips


Smelling: Serge Lutens – Ambre Sultan Let us make a hypothetical situation. Let us say that once upon a time, and definitely not like, the first weekend in January or anything, there was a girl who had a special friend (and that was totally okay because it was before her person friend came in the picture) and that special friend happened to be a scorchin’ hot former professional soccer player from Casablanca. And let’s hypothetically say that one day this special friend invited the girl over to his house for a homemade Moroccan meal and to watch Casablanca in the traditional way, which apparently involves a several-hour massage with sweet almond oil and some mysterious green stuff he got at the souk followed by some premier grade necking, something just highly ill-advised involving mint tea and eventually breakfast. With me so far? All of that, without the mint (which seriously, I give points for creative enthusiasm, but that was just poor planning all around). That’s Ambre Sultan. Or so I’ve heard.

Loving: Better Business Bureau Charity Checker (click here for a list of BBB-approved organizations doing relief work in Japan). Chip in if you can.

Hating: Everyone in town for SXSW. Listen, I get it. I love Austin too, that’s why I live here. But you and your girl jeans and your ironic facial hair can just go back to Cleveland now. Stand up straight, get that hair out of your eyes and get a soul-killing job like the rest of us!

Wanting: Jeanne Moreau’s buffalo plaid cap from Jules et Jim. WHY? WHY is it so hard to find this thing? I just don’t understand.

Buying: Dream Curves Seamless Hi-Waist Bike Short Man I love these things. Alluring? Not so much, but I like the way they smooth my stuff out without locking it down. There’s nothing worse than shapewear that pancakes your butt or causes the Vesuvius of all muffin tops. Plus they don’t roll, by which I mean they roll a little but not so much they make me want to die and or kill.

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