If I’ve done my job, I’ve just given you a wicked Erasure earworm. For that you are welcome.
I may not be the smartest, or the nicest, or the prettiest girl in the room but I’m almost always the best dressed. Okay, I’m also almost always the smartest, nicest and prettiest too, but that’s because I spend a lot of time alone. Plus people find my modesty appealing.
You’re probably expecting me to bang on and on about how important it is to look your best at all times and don’t leave the house without full on pageant hair and makeup (butt paste and Vaseline optional) but I’m not going to. I actually don’t care about that. What I care about is respect.
Show of hands, back in college, how many of us every went to class in our jimjams or some jimjam-adjacent body covering? I never went the full pajama route, but I’m fairly sure I went to a botany lab in black slippers once. It’s a rite of passage, like your first Communion or flashing your first cab driver when you realize you didn’t have enough cash for a tip.
The thing is, that stuff doesn’t fly in the real world.
It’s not okay to leave the house in your pajamas unless you’re on the way to the emergency room. It’s disrespectful to the people around you and more importantly it’s disrespectful to yourself.
When I see a big girl wandering about in her pajamas, I automatically think “oh look, another sad fat girl who’s given up.”
Is it fair? Maybe not, but it’s accurate more times than not.
And I know, I know I’m going to get 800 comments from righteously indignant moms who Don’t Have Time to put on a pair of pants as they take little Madison and Mackenzie to their seventy-third holistic water polo lesson of the week. Yes, you do. I have taken off and put on all sorts of clothes in all sorts of locations, often in the dark and ALWAYS in a rush. You’re not proofing the Oppenheimer experiment, you’re throwing on a pair of cargo shorts because if you’re old enough to get knocked up on purpose, you’re old enough to leave the Makin’ Bacon’ novelty jammies at home. Or in the fire. Probably fire.