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A Little Respect | Manolo for the Big Girl

A Little Respect

If I’ve done my job, I’ve just given you a wicked Erasure earworm. For that you are welcome.

I may not be the smartest, or the nicest, or the prettiest girl in the room but I’m almost always the best dressed. Okay, I’m also almost always the smartest, nicest and prettiest too, but that’s because I spend a lot of time alone. Plus people find my modesty appealing.

You’re probably expecting me to bang on and on about how important it is to look your best at all times and don’t leave the house without full on pageant hair and makeup (butt paste and Vaseline optional) but I’m not going to. I actually don’t care about that. What I care about is respect.

Show of hands, back in college, how many of us every went to class in our jimjams or some jimjam-adjacent body covering? I never went the full pajama route, but I’m fairly sure I went to a botany lab in black slippers once. It’s a rite of passage, like your first Communion or flashing your first cab driver when you realize you didn’t have enough cash for a tip.

The thing is, that stuff doesn’t fly in the real world.

It’s not okay to leave the house in your pajamas unless you’re on the way to the emergency room. It’s disrespectful to the people around you and more importantly it’s disrespectful to yourself.

When I see a big girl wandering about in her pajamas, I automatically think “oh look, another sad fat girl who’s given up.”

Is it fair? Maybe not, but it’s accurate more times than not.

And I know, I know I’m going to get 800 comments from righteously indignant moms who Don’t Have Time to put on a pair of pants as they take little Madison and Mackenzie to their seventy-third holistic water polo lesson of the week. Yes, you do. I have taken off and put on all sorts of clothes in all sorts of locations, often in the dark and ALWAYS in a rush. You’re not proofing the Oppenheimer experiment, you’re throwing on a pair of cargo shorts because if you’re old enough to get knocked up on purpose, you’re old enough to leave the Makin’ Bacon’ novelty jammies at home. Or in the fire. Probably fire.

48 Responses to “A Little Respect”

  1. klee May 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm #

    Preach, miss Plum! I almost always wear a dress-not always fancy or expensive (in fact, JC Penney has some great, machine washable dresses, usually for under $50). I feel good, I look good, and I am always appropriately dressed. I throw a few in a carry-on and travel for months at a time. I’ve worn the same thing to the vatican and walking my dogs. Simple, easy, presentable, washable.

    Point is, not only do I look better, they make me feel better. There were times when I was recovering from one of the 17 orthopedic surgeries, completely drowning in self pity, but I put on a dress and some lipstick, and it helped me. As comfortable as nightgowns, and I don’t look like an oversized toddler in a raggedy tee shirt and shorts.
    I kept my self respect, and I believe others treat me with more respect too.
    try it

  2. Mrs. Hall May 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    AMEN SISTER!

  3. BatGirl May 25, 2011 at 6:09 pm #

    Now, I am the furthest thing from fashionable, but I never go out in my pj’s or sweats. Wouldn’t even do it in college. At least it’s always been jeans and a t-shirt. They may both have paint on them, but at least they’re not pjs.

    Funny story. When my brother was about 4 (back in his would only wear button down shirts in public days) he used to refuse to get out of the car with my mom if she was wearing sweats or any sort of pj like clothes.

  4. Denise May 25, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

    I have the same thought, along with “Why does she think that we can’t see her?”

  5. wildflower May 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

    I work on a University campus, and I’m sorry to report to you that quite a few young women wear PJs or sweats, not out of laziness, but purposefully. The reason I conclude this is that they are *matching* PJs/sweats, and the young ladies in question wear makeup, style their hair, and look otherwise well-groomed and put-together. I think it is considered “cute” to evoke some deliberate disheveledness.

  6. Jophiel May 25, 2011 at 7:21 pm #

    It’s not a new idea, but one, I think, worth repeating:

    Mentally,
    1. Pajama-wear is like wearing camouflage.
    2. “Dressing up” feels like body armor.

    There’s nothing like going into a big meeting with sartorial guns blazing ;).

  7. JosieBellaBirdie May 25, 2011 at 8:00 pm #

    ‘I try to discover, a little something to make me sweeter…..’ That song is going to be stuck in my head all day now…..Thank you :)
    Oh and totally agree re public PJ wearing. Unless you are under the age of 5, definitely not on.

  8. Lili Bitmore May 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    Story time, so happy to share with the Big Girls! I get up once a week for my very early, ‘not interacting with the public’ shift. I have been Spring (closet) cleaning & found some heretofore unworn combo-combo’s. Set new combo clothes & ‘acchechepies” out last night, then game/outfit changing rain was forecast locally. Changed it up at 4:10 am, a.k.a. oh:dark hundred. After changing and grabbing lunch box and gear bags, made it out by 5:15, work work work. Mid-morning arrived with a student bearing a camera, asking if he could film the workplace for his video project. (!) I have rarely been so relieved to be caught in cuteness, in a put together array. Hooray for the tips garnered here; I ‘may’ have been sporting the Just Bitten lipstain in Twilight/Crepuscule. My work today did not have me in public, so dressing up is strictly for my own enjoyment, entertainment. Thanks hugely for the good words and for the great fun.

  9. Toby Wollin May 25, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

    Many many years ago, when my kids were little, my younger daughter had a birthday party to go to with a family we were not familiar with and my husband dropped her off because I had something else I was attending to (I think my daughter was in the 7-8 year old range). I was to pick her up later at a predetermined time. Soon after he got home, I asked him how things were at the party and he said, “Well, when I brought her in, all I saw were the kids, but I finally found the mom in the kitchen – she was still in her nightgown.” I bolted out of the house like my tail was on fire and arrived at the party to find my daughter cringing in a corner, looking absolutely overjoyed as I walked into the room announcing, “We’ve had an emergency and I need to take xxx home now; sorry.” The mom was in the kitchen in her nighty all right, with the SO/spousal unit/boyfriend/who knew and they both smelled of drink. The mom waved us out of the house, while the little birthday girl basically cried to see her little friend go. As I belted my daughter into the seat, she said, worriedly, “Mommy – what is the emergency?” And I answered “The emergency was getting you out of that house!!” We laughed in that sort of rueful way all the way home, with her saying, “Mom, why was she not wearing clothes? You always wear clothes.”
    See — kids notice that sort of stuff and they really do know that if you get up in your nighty and stay in your nighty either a) you are sick, in which case you need to be in bed, with a breakfast tray, the humidifier, and a good book, or b) something really really weird is going on.
    I work from home several days a week and I make it a rule that I get up, shower, dress in something good (which might be dressy pants and a good blouse and proper shoes), put on a bit of makeup, and do things in an organized way (like, not eating at the computer, taking breaks away from the computer and so on). When I have not, I..do…not…get…anything…done.
    Jammies are for bed. Or for when you are sick or so depressed you can’t get out of bed (in which case, you are ill and need to get your heinie to an appropriate medical practitioner ASAP). Dress is like that line from “French Kiss” about facial expressions: The appropriate one for the appropriate activity.

  10. Christine May 25, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

    Do you (posters) find it disrespectful when you see a pretty, tiny little girl in sweats or cut offs and a tee, or some other sloppy wear? So you think: Oh, there’s another skinny girl who’s given up?

    I’m aware that its much easier for fat girls to look sloppy than thin girls. But if Miss Tiny Little Thing gets to throw on anything when going grocery shopping and nobody bats an eye, it makes me grumpy when I think I have to go to extra trouble to avoid pitying stares.

    Then again, I always disagree with posts about pitying the poorly dressed fat girl. I still enjoy reading them, though. Carry on, beautiful women!

  11. Katie May 25, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    I work on a farm and in a bakery and as an artist, so I’m generally covered in flour and/or mud and/or industrial strength egg-dye. Whenever I stop in the store on the way home, I feel like I’m representing Big Girls Everywhere poorly by looking so unkempt. When I go somewhere where I’m not going to get covered in who-knows-what, I definitely make sure I dress properly, out of principle.

  12. ZaftigWendy May 25, 2011 at 11:43 pm #

    I don’t care whether they’re fat or thin or somewhere in between – I still think wearing pajamas in public is crass and disrespectful to everyone around you. I don’t believe those who say it’s about comfort, because there are real clothes that are just as comfy. I don’t believe it’s about time because it doesn’t take that long to pull on a tshirt and jeans. It’s just plain trashy.

  13. Leah May 25, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    AMEN! And Christine, I may be an anachronism, I DO think it is disrespectful & inappropriate to see any girl of ANY size in pajamas. It’s nowhere near as cute as they think it is, in any size. I miss the old days, you know, where everyone was sufficiently clothed.
    I too work as staff on a college campus & I am employed in a print shop, so dresses, skirts & nice slacks are not an option for me. While I don’t run a press, I have to be around them & they are messy. I generally wear jeans & tees, the thing is though, the jeans are clean & they are the proper size, no muffin top that looks like I am having breathing issues. Also, the tees are often for the U at which I work & are also always a proper size, no belly hanging under, no skin tight view of my extra weight. I am not a small girl but I do respect myself & take pride in my (albeit casual) appearance. My view is that great hair, well applied makeup & killer accessories make my already appropriate jeans & tees look a little more polished.

  14. Lili Bitmore May 26, 2011 at 12:02 am #

    @ Jophiel, ‘sartorial guns ablaze’? (totally stealing) I mean, ‘May I use that, please?’ Fanning myself at the thought of all this combined brilliance…powering the SUN, y’all are!

    @ Miss Plumcake, perhaps a return to the golden yesteryear, wherein you remind us that If it’s cold enough for uggly boots, it’s TOO cold for booty shorts. (LOVE) Maybe is a college/university rite of wrong-thinking? You go to higher education to get smarter, right?

  15. ashley May 26, 2011 at 12:41 am #

    I’m a new-ish mom, wearing sweats, and laughing in recognition at myself. I know! At least I have the good sense to be embarrassed. For what it’s worth, I did get dressed “for real” this morning, and then after my son vomited all over me (ALL OVER), I rolled over and gave up.

  16. Rebekka May 26, 2011 at 4:22 am #

    This whole PJ in public thing is really American, too. I remember going to the video store back in CA (in the Stone Age, obviously) in my PJs once, but I was 17. I have the impression that there are some interesting types of socially challenged people in the UK (the hot pants and Uggs brigade) so who knows what they do, but now I live in Scandinavia and NOBODY goes out in their PJs. If you’ve grown out of clothes that snap at the crotch for diaper changes, you wear real clothes outside.

    I actually recently moved my car out of my MILs driveway so she could get out, I was wearing my PJ bottoms because she was in a hurry, and because there was someone walking their dog on the other side of the street I was about to die of shame just walking from the curb back to the house. So when I mean outside I mean anywhere someone other than your immediate family can see you.

  17. Liz May 26, 2011 at 6:27 am #

    @Christine: Yes, yes I do think it’s disrespectful for women and girls of all sizes to walk around in their PJs.

    In all seriousness, I have never seen anyone do that, not even in college.

    I’m not pretty and I’m not fashionable, but I do make an effort to look presentable. Speaking as a very busy woman who has very little interest in fashion (just personal preferences), it is NOT difficult to be clean and presentable. I just make sure that my clothes are basic, attractive and fit me incredibly well.

  18. Christine May 26, 2011 at 7:38 am #

    @ Liz, I just don’t get the “disrespectful” part of it, having never once felt disrespected by what someone else is wearing, unless, say, they show up at an interview looking cruddy. And I suppose if you are representing a company and look sloppy, that puts a bad face on the company–though I’ve never felt offended by such a thing.

    And yeah, I’ve never seen anyone in pj bottoms either, but I do remember in my richy-rich high school it became the fashion one year for girls to wear their father’s boxers as shorts. Which was about as attractive as the boys showing their underpants…

    Totally off topic, but I am in a situation where I have to interview again and have to put together an outfit that makes me look both attractive and professional–such an ordeal for me at my size, especially in the summer. I so wish I could just go to the mall, pick out something, and be done with it. I rely on this blog to help me find such wear, and am grateful that it’s here.

  19. Lorraine May 26, 2011 at 8:36 am #

    Words of wisdom. It’s especially annoying when people are flying. I know we all want to be comfortable but you are not 5 years old! Fat or thin doesn’t matter, it’s about respecting yourself.

  20. ChaChaheels May 26, 2011 at 8:41 am #

    If you’re not on a campus every day, you probably don’t see the girls in jammies and slippers parade, but they do. I used to work in a campus test centre years ago, and I’d often see girls come in to write exams looking as though they had just jumped out of bed. The first time it happened, I worked with a student who lived in residence, on campus. It was very early in the morning, so I thought it’s rough to be so unorganized but the poor girl probably stayed up all night studying. She had to write again that afternoon, hours after she’d finished up the first exam that day, and when she signed in for that, she was in the same grubby jammies, the same worn down flip flop slippers, and the same artfully shaped bed head–and mascara and lipstick. I realized then it was “a look”, because so many people went out like that–and not all of them lived “in residence”. That means they dressed that way to commute, on the bus, subway, on a bike, or in a car. They were visible off campus, to hundreds if not thousands of other people. It’s easy to think you’re “at home” if you’re going from the dorm to the building next door, but if you’re actually locking up your apartment to travel through the city, it’s much harder to understand.

    The “disrespect” has to do with not having enough sense of personal pride or purpose to groom and dress one’s self appropriately, so that you are presenting your best image at all times, for your own benefit. But I also think it is a sign of disrespect to dress inappropriately to be with other people, too. Anytime I could cause someone to think “I just don’t know where to look” because of what I’m wearing, I’ve done myself a grave disservice; and I’ve made them uncomfortable too.

  21. Marianne May 26, 2011 at 9:08 am #

    Jesus, what a judgmental and crotchety post! Followed by even more judgmental and crotchety comments! I guess it’s time to take this one off my feed.

  22. SarahDances May 26, 2011 at 9:11 am #

    @Christine Wearing dad’s boxers as shorts?! Oh my goodness gracious, ew, a thousand times, ew! Daddy issues, much? Oh, that image will haunt me.

  23. Nikita May 26, 2011 at 9:58 am #

    Guilty! In my defense, most times when I do this I have on a cute shirt and tennis shoes. LOL. To me, this is just a reminder to us Big Lovely Girls to take care of ourselves even in the small things. This reminder, to me, is a good thing. I can admit that I was one of the big girls that gave up on herself and looked it.

  24. class factotum May 26, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    I saw a young woman wearing PJs and Crocs to church one Saturday evening. I know Catholics are overly casual and Saturday evening Mass is even more casual than Sunday morning Mass, but PJs? Compounded by Crocs?

    The worst thing was she was with her mother. The mom, at least, should have known better.

  25. Kimks May 26, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    Could not agree more! It is not hard at all to wear presentable clothing that is not meant to be worn in bed. I have been to several pajama themed parties where people come with hair, makeup and accessories to the nines, and in pajamas- but those were themed parties.

    I had fairly major abdominal surgery in November, I purchased black yoga pants that I could easily wear over my stitches and still feel somewhat presentable for the guests coming to my home to visit and for the times I had to leave the house. Seriously people, if someone who has the fairly decent excuse of having a major surgery and can still put forth the effort, you can.

    And- it doesn’t matter your size, sweats and pajamas in public are a no– they are right above pants with words across the butt on the fashion list of NO!

  26. Ellen May 26, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    Whoa! Who are you? I know you write for us “big girls” but we don’t deserve the sermonette and judgment. Anyone in a pair of pajamas or pajama pants outside their home has either bad taste or perhaps a busy life! I come to this site for encouragement and information–could we have that back please?

  27. evilsciencechick May 26, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    CONFESSION: I regularly walk my dog around our complex while wearing pajamas or pajama-like clothing. However, I consider the condo grounds “home turf,” and since I see many of my neighbors doing the same, I don’t feel bad about this.

    That being said, I will put on a bra and slip on a pair of jeans just to go out and get dinner from a drive thru, so yes. Agree. It takes two seconds to switch from yoga pants to a pair of jeans, and you can do it right in your living room if you want to. I do not need to know that you are wearing pink stripe underwear because you’re wearing sweatpants with a hole in the butt, lady!

  28. Sara May 26, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    I bow my head in shame, as I did once- ONCE!- wear PJs bottom to class in college. Of course, I pegged the bottoms (what? it was the early 90s!) and wore them with my Via Spiga alligator flats. But still. I never could do it again.

    I tell this story by way of saying that I totally agree with Miss Plumcake. And I don’t differentiate- you can be high-school-cheerleader skinny but if you’re wearing PJs to me you look like a foolish mess. Oh, and I have a kid too, so that excuse doesn’t fly IMHO either.

  29. Jezebella May 26, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    I’m with Christine on this one. You never hear of anyone looking at a pert size 6 in her jammies and saying, “Bless her heart, another skinny girl that’s given up.” You just don’t. Maybe you think jammies are tacky, inappropriate, or disrespectful, but has Miss Teeny Tiny “given up”? No, that’s just not on the script. I resent being told I have an obligation to represent all fat girls everywhere by being exquisitely attired, shod, and painted every single day. Because you know what? Sometimes, I just want to throw on some clothes and run to the corner store for a coffee and a newspaper before I shower and get dressed for the day. And if the skinny girls can do it, so should I be able to.

    I am also mystified by the “disrespectful” business. Are people being tacky *at* you? Really? No, actually, they’re just being tacky. Don’t take it personally.

    All that said: I think PJs in public are tacky and slippers in public are gross (they look like RATS on their FEET! UGH!), and if you can afford a carton of smokes and a six-pack of Natural Light, you can probably afford clothes that do not have holes in them.

    I do think that it’s good form to wear “outside clothes” to go outside in, but I have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives. Maybe they have cancer. Maybe their kid’s just gone to rehab for the fourth time. Maybe they’re caring for their very sick and elderly mother 24/7. I try really really hard not to judge because I hate it when people judge me.

  30. Madame Suggia May 26, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    @ Marianne said,

    “Jesus, what a judgmental and crotchety post! Followed by even more judgmental and crotchety comments! I guess it’s time to take this one off my feed”.

    Madame Suggia says…if you truly imagine that you are not in some way judged by all & sundry every time you show your face in public (humans can’t help it, it’s as hard-wired as breathing) then you are sadly deluding yourself.

    And as you flounce off into the netherworld of internet sulks, do be sure you don’t let the door hit your (no doubt pj covered) a$$ on the way out.

  31. BrieCS May 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm #

    It amazes me that there are even people who think this is “judgmental” or who think that it’s wrong to expect others to dress respectfully.

    I was taught that you never go out in anything you wear to sleep in. I have only gone out maybe 10 times in my life in yoga pants or exercise pants (except when actually exercising), but never in pajamas – not even outside of my yard. It’s not because I feel obligated to, it’s because I know that those kind of clothes aren’t appropriate for the task at hand. I’m a pretty casual dresser outside of my work, but I don’t think it’s respectful of other people to wear those clothes or pajamas (they are often tighter and show too much or looser and show too much!).

    Why is it such a bad thing to expect people to put in some effort before they come outside? It’s no different than expecting people to not wear skin-tight leopard-print spandex booty shorts.

  32. Cat May 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    I have left the house in my pajamas exactly two times: once when rushing a cat who’d been hit by a car to the vet, and once when being rushed to the emergency room myself (and even then it was just my pajama top — I threw on some jeans). I do not understand why some people go to the grocery store, restaurant, or mall in their pajamas. Do. Not. Get it.

  33. Leigh Ann May 26, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    I’m inclined to give a pass to sweat pants worn in public. As long as they as clean and not full of holes, I’m not bothered by them. But I’m not crazy about pajamas in public. The thing that pushed me to the edge, though, is house shoes worn in public. Because they are usually FILTHY. I’m not talking invalids here, either. Just able bodied people shuffling along in dirty terry cloth (or whatever) slippers.

  34. ArtfulArtsyAmy May 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

    Every time I read your awesome blog, I get sad. Sad because you don’t live near me. . .Because, I would love to be your friend, or accomplice, or you know, stalker. Whatever. Semantics.

    You have helped me make friends though! One of my colleagues and I have mutually bonded over quoting you to each other BEFORE realizing we both read your blog!

    And, honey, let me tell you: I agree 100% with what you are saying here. I’m a southern woman, and put on HEELS to go to a damn football game. I’m not going to the grocery store in my jammies. Heck, I probably won’t go without makeup.

    I don’t have any kiddos of my own, but I am an art teacher. And, I don’t wear those “tired, sad, teaching-made-me-ugly clothes.” I’m known for wearing tons of fun, bright, professional clothes (along with killer boots and/or heels) to work everyday. Basically, I feel that if I can teach your five your old to sling clay, paint, and God-only-knows-what-else and manage to get home clean at the end of the day. You can do it as a Mom.

  35. Liz May 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    @Christine and Jezebella:

    Maybe it’s culture differences, but I have felt disrespected by what other people were wearing. For instance, when I was a teenager, a politician once came to my heavily working class neighbourhood shilling for votes. He wasn’t wearing a jacket or a tie, and his shirt was unbuttoned.

    He was ripped to shreds almost every time someone answered the doorbell. Pretty much everyone took it as an insult that he wanted our votes but couldn’t even be bothered putting on a jacket. The fact that he was dishevelled meant that he had come to us after a long day campaigning (we were an after thought) and he couldn’t even be bothered to shower.

    It’s like seeing teenage girls in church wearing teensy shorts, high heels and tiny string tops. (And yes, I’ve seen that.) Or people who don’t wash enough. Think of those people who arrive at someone else’s wedding wearing something completely inappropriate – my godmother still spits nails about a friend (now a former friend) who arrived at her church wedding dressed like a goth stripper with no shoes.

    You don’t have to like it, but sometimes people will feel disrespected if you don’t meet basic standards of hygiene and presentation. People can make allowances for emergencies (and if they’re not close enough to know this is a one off for a very good reason, why do you care what they think?) but we do have a right to expect that others will meet basic standards.

  36. Leah Z May 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    I have always been taller than everyone else and always carried a bit of extra weight. My mother (teeny tiny person) told me to iron my shirt and brush my hair before I left the house because I should try to look my best no matter where I was going or who I was with.

    Fast foward a few decades and I’m not always taller than everyone else and still have that extra weight. I never leave the house in sweat pants unless I’m going to sweat in them.

  37. wildflower May 26, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

    People who think we ought not to be judged by what we wear have their hearts in the right place, but, for better or for worse, that’s just not the society we have. If you truly believe that clothes and grooming don’t matter, wait until you’ve been laid off and really need a job. Wait until you’ve spent two months submitting resumes every day and just got a call for your first interview, during an economic downturn in your field. Ask yourself, would you show up for that precious interview in sweats?

    If you can say yes, then fine, look down your noses at the rest of us, but if you say no, then you can’t make snotty comments like, “Jesus, what a judgmental and crotchety post! Followed by even more judgmental and crotchety comments!”

    And by the way, what’s up with commenters who disagree with a single post threatening to quit reading? Who on earth cares if you quit reading? What are you, eight? What are you going to do the next time someone says something you disagree with, hold your breath until you turn blue?

  38. Thea May 26, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    I’m with Madame Suggia and wildflower…you may think it ‘shouldn’t matter’ but it does in many circumstances and people won’t tell you you look inappropriate, sloppy or tacky – you just simply won’t get a call back for the job, the date etc.

    And as far as parents who don’t teach (demand) their children to dress decently for church, or any other situation that has a an appropriate dress style – you aren’t doing the kid any favors not to know how to cope with the world’s expectations

  39. sarahbyrdd May 26, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    Back in the day, there were women who would go to class with a coat thrown over their flannel nightgowns at my Seven Sisters alma mater. While I never did, it was seen as a combination of can’t get out of bed on time/celebration of no boys allowed clubishness/with a dash of aren’t I preppy-cute. That was strictly on campus behavior though.

    I feel the same way about pjs as streetwear as I do about sweats with “Juicy” printed on the ass. Just don’t.

  40. La Petite Acadienne May 27, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    Did I wear my jammies around campus sometimes while in university? Of course. But I also did many other Ill-Advised Things, such as drinking Purple Jesus, dying my hair black, and bringing that sailor back to my dorm room.

    Out in the “real world”, I don’t think it’s too much to ask people to not wear their sleepwear out in public. Sweatpants? I don’t really care, as long as they don’t have holes in unfortunate places. But like it or not, dressing in jammies makes you look like you’re several sandwiches short of a picnic and don’t know enough to put on clothes when you go out-of-doors.

  41. Margaret May 27, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    Oh god that song brings back memories of a mistake I made in college. A mistake I made a few times if you know what I mean andIthinkyoudo.

  42. Stina May 28, 2011 at 5:20 am #

    I agree with the commenter who said that it’s an American thing. I live in Germany and I have NEVER seen people wearing PJs outside the house. Even people in sweats get “looks” at the grocery store. It’s seen as a sign that you are “lower class” and don’t take care of yourself (which is another can of worms, but anyway.).

  43. maryann May 29, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    Once again, Miss Plumcake, I nod my head in agreement. This over casualness is rampant amongst the moms in my neighborhood. Pajamas are not for the grocery store, the playground, the zoo, etc. Yes, I know, life is busy, I have a kid too. But for the love of all that is holy, just at least throw on a clean pair of jeans and nice-ish top. A well-fitting t-shirt even, so long as it’s clean. Don’t give up so easily, ladies. The funny things is, the kids always look well-put together.

  44. dcsurfergirl May 29, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    I really try to be understanding and sympathetic. Maybe someone’s broke, depressed, busy–whatever–and that’s why they look like they do. Living in the Washington, DC area (aka “Hollywood for ugly people”–not my words) for most of your life can make you think that way.

    But let’s face it–it’s a tough world. People do care about looks. Anyone carrying extra weight will be judged more critically. Sorry, ladies. I don’t like it either.

    A few basic grooming rules go a long way. Bathe. Fix your hair. Makeup is optional but it’s probably a good idea. If you sleep in it, you shouldn’t go outdoors in it. Know your workplace dress code and follow it. It’s. Not. That. Hard.

    Go ahead, say I am a horrible person. My street cred? I have worked with kids, had surgery and deal with a casual dress code and never dressed in pajamas or sweats.

    Have a great day, everyone!

  45. Carly McCall May 29, 2011 at 9:16 pm #

    I’m with the delectable Miss P. on this post.

    It’s not about different standards whether fat or thin. It’s definitely about self-respect. Those clothes weren’t designed to be worn out of the house and I don’t feel like you’re being ‘cute’ or ‘different’ by wearing them as daywear. (There are far more kick-ass ways to make that kind of statement than ‘oh whoops I’m so busy and important that I just didn’t have time to get dressed today’)

    No one’s saying that everyone should be sartorially perfect at all times. Me, I just found some linen lounging pants and soft cotton tops that felt as good as PJs… it’s no-brainer dressing and it lets me put my best foot forward (with deep purple nails, natch) without compromising on comfort.

  46. retna May 30, 2011 at 1:53 am #

    1) I don’t own pyjamas 2)I won’t be caught in my sleepwear except by the Young Man 3)Please women of all sizes there are more presentable, more fun, more More outfits than pyjamas and sweats. I confess to being dressy all the time – earrings, bangles/cuffs, rings, watch, necklace/choker/pendant,belt and matching feetwear. And it is satisfying. Do it everyday.

  47. Bree May 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    I’m pretty non-judgmental when it comes to other peoples’ fashion choices. But I’m sorry ladies, wearing pajamas as actual clothes is just plain stupid. Does it really take that much effort to put on a pair of regular jeans or pants or shorts, or a skirt and a top if you’re going somewhere that doesn’t require a trip to the ER/hospital or another emergency/life interrupted situation that can’t be helped?

  48. Genevieve June 2, 2011 at 5:33 pm #

    I find it disrespectful when people wear their PJs or inappropriate-for-the- event clothing. I feel insulted that I or their interaction with me was judged not important enough to warrant clean or socially appropriate clothing. If it’s my wedding, don’t show up in dirty track bottom and have your girlfriend tell me I should be happy they don’t have that many holes! If I just meet you walking the dog or buying milk at the corner store- really? Changing into a pair of pants or sandals was too much of an effort? Some people only ever see us in specific situation: wearing dingy pjs to run to the corner store to buy the paper before your shower is saying to the guy who works there, and bothered to take a shower before his 5am shift that you find him so insignificant that he doesn’t deserve the respect of at least brushing your hair or spending 30 seconds changing into a pair of jeans. All the ladies commenting here that it’s judgmental to judge the PJ wearers forget that the PJ wearers judged everyone they were gonna meet that day as not worth the effort of clothing- they judge, I judge back.