Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

July 6, 2011

It’s Flats month (probably should’ve mentioned that before)

Filed under: Flats — Miss Plumcake @ 12:50 pm

So uh, you know how I’m pretty but not very bright right? Normally I’m at peace with it. I mean no one ever got an upgrade to first class by being able to thoughtfully discuss Schopenhauer’s Fourfold Root of the Principle of Sufficient Reason and although mama loves her vowel-laden enthusiastically-follicled 19th century philosophers, mama loves those little hot rolled towels and a decreased risk of deep vein thrombosis even more. Plus the warm nuts.

Anyhoodle, I forgot to mention a month-long feature: Flats Month.

Upon arriving at the idyllic seaside village that contains the newly-christened Villa de Plumcake, I discovered the streets were done completely in a particularly rustic cobblestone. Not like cute little pavers that look like cobblestone, but actual mostly-rounded stones from the ground cobbled together in such a way as to provide maximum ankle twisting at all times.

Cobblestone can go [redacted] themselves.

Anyone who ever said cobblestones were romantic had a flatter chest and cheaper shoes than I do, and since I decided not to take my car, I have to walk about four miles a day on those igneous bastards.

Now I have a long and glorious tradition of making questionable decisions in foreign countries, but never EVER at the risk of my shoes, so I had to hide my heels away and unwrap some flats and although they’re not my shoe of choice, even I understand that woman cannot live by stilettos alone.

With that in mind, I have christened the entire month of July “Flats Month” featuring a new Plumcake-approved flat Monday through Friday until July 31st.

8 Comments

  1. Ugh, Rome has those cobblestones of doom. Riding the bus over them will knock out your fillings. My pradas saw little wear there. I was saved by Arche- specifically a metallic rubber soled ballet flat with just a little bit of a wedge heel. Walked miles in them babies….

    Comment by Klee — July 6, 2011 @ 2:51 pm

  2. Look around and see if you can find a pair of these Plummy

    http://www.outersoul.com/sanmiguel.html

    Strappy elastic sandals with rubber souls created in San Miguel Allende specifically for tourist girls to wear with their cocktail dresses on cobblestone. I’ve had a couple of pairs and they are comfortable – kind of combat boot meets cocktail sandal.

    Also available in higher heels for those who have a pool boy to swoop you up and carry you around

    http://www.outersoul.com/tijuana.html

    Comment by Thea — July 6, 2011 @ 5:04 pm

  3. @Thea: Interesting! I would never ever wear them, but fantastic story. I’ve got my little Apepazza burnished gold gladiators that are doing just fine and besides, I’m doing pretty well on the swoop and carry front, so the point may be moot soon enough.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — July 6, 2011 @ 5:37 pm

  4. I think Mexico is good for you. I actually laughed out loud for real at the first paragraph.

    Comment by Violet — July 6, 2011 @ 8:44 pm

  5. You know, I’m really not a flat person myself, but sometimes you need something without a heel but with a closed toe that’s not hiking boots. *eyes closet* If you have any recommendations particularly for those of us with the wide, flat feet, I would love to hear them. I always feel like one of the Ugly Stepsisters trying to jam my spade feet into narrow little flats.

    Comment by Ananas — July 7, 2011 @ 2:01 am

  6. Cobblestones suck. You get used to them, though.

    Comment by Rebekka — July 7, 2011 @ 3:33 am

  7. Cobblestones look fabulous and romantic in photographs, but they are, in reality, exactly the igneous bastards described above. And you never get used to them. And I’d still twist my ankles wearing flats on them, too.

    Comment by ChaChaheels — July 7, 2011 @ 6:47 am

  8. ooh, ooh, miss plumcake, miss plumcake, if you find any flats with a higher vamp than normal ballet flats, please do post them! Because of the shape of my foot, regular ballet flats fall off my feet (I end up wearing mary janes and ankle straps a lot). I am always on a quest for such things. Right now I am wearing a pair of inexpensive low Skechers wedges that have a usual height vamp, but a tiny little strap about 3/4″ higher on the foot that keeps them on my feet. That much higher than normal is all I need, and they’re deuced hard to find.

    Comment by Laura — July 8, 2011 @ 3:08 pm

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