So here’s the deal. Over the years I’ve had a good number of emails in re: the more intimate side of life as a big girl and I almost never answer. I know, that makes me a Very Bad Blogger Indeed but I can’t help it.
I believe what happens behind closed doors is none of my damn business unless you’re my next door neighbor in which case pipe down Susan Lucci, no one’s gonna give you an Emmy for THAT.
Then I got to thinking about the things I wish someone had told me when I was even younger and more impressionable than I am now and decided to impart the little wisdom I’ve gathered through the ages and stages of my sexually active life.
I’m putting this behind a jump, because although I’m doing my best to keep it respectable, this is an adult adult subject matter so if you’re a delicate petal or work in a particularly strict office, you might just want to skip it.
I take sexual health –especially my sexual health– very seriously, so as long as I’ve been sexually active I’ve been sexually responsible. Like many women my age whose first experience with sex in the news was Freddie Mercury’s death, I grew up perfectly aware that sex could kill me. Yeah, I know. Happy Wednesday everybody!
So I’d always been a Trojan girl.
I was never just crazy about them, but I knew they were effective and that was the most important thing. Then early this year I was getting ready to go to Ireland and no offense to my Pope-lovin’ pals, I’m just NOT going to trust a Catholic country to provide me with adequate and effective birth control.
Enter (uh, you know what I mean) the Okamoto Crown
Year after year, our customers constantly rate them at the head of the class. In terms of sensitivity, reliability and comfort the Crown Skinless Skin is unmatched. Most famous for their use in adult movies, Skinless Skin are Pink Tinted and famous for being ridiculously thin yet super strong. They are manufactured in Japan by Okamoto (who also manufactures fellow World’s Best Winner Beyond Seven). He will love them because their super thin design give them a “Bareback” feeling. She will love them because they are super thin and help her feel closer to her lover. Bottom Line: It feels like you have nothing on.
Y’all, this is a full-on Game Changer.
I literally had no idea a condom could feel like there was nothing there.
I wasn’t the only one. In fact, in the heat of the moment, if you’ll forgive the indiscretion, more than one of my fella-type friends asked if he could uh, release the kraken, because he’d forgotten there was anything there.
Now that I’m all settled down I’ve even given a dozen or so to Hot Latin Boy’s 16 year-old nephew and his girlfriend. We figured he might try the Special Imported Japanese Condoms as a sort of snob appeal, realize how great they were and with any luck, Hot Latin Boy doesn’t become a Great Uncle at 28.
Oh, they’re pink and just slightly lubricated. I don’t care one way or another about the pink and the lube level is fine for me, but I’ve read some reviews online that says you might want to add a little something extra if the situation calls for it. Anyway, it’s the only condom I’ll ever use. You’re welcome in advance.
Tomorrow: The Hair Down There