Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

November 29, 2011

The Way

Filed under: Movies — Miss Plumcake @ 5:26 pm

Once upon a time in a galaxy about ten miles down the road, I worked for a film festival. I was young and foolish then and had no problems working 72 hours straight hopped up on Chupa Chups, sleeping in the bathtub in the hotel suite that served as the center of command when I had a chance.

After several years of nonsense (and when everyone else moved from lollipops to cocaine) I quit, and from that day to this, I’ve seen maybe a dozen first-run films in the theater.

However, fate and fortune, not to mention being jerked around by the office of the Mexican Consular General for half the day until I nearly cried in two languages, conspired against my anti-filmic ways and I found myself at an art house double-feature. The menu consisted of Pedro Almodovar’s new film “The Skin I Live In” and “The Way” starring Martin Sheen.

The Almodovar flick couldn’t have been more effed up if it came with its own anti-gravity vibrat…personal massager, but “The Way” was touching, gently funny and although I Do Not Cry In Public, something got in my eye several times and it absolutely ruined my makeup.

It’s the story of a buttoned up father who, upon learning his estranged son died the first day into a pilgrimage along the Camino de Santiago through France and Spain, decides to complete the pilgrimage for his son, scattering his ashes along the way.

He reluctantly takes on a handful of traveling companions, first and for our purposes most importantly, “Joost from Amsterdam.”

Yorick van Wageningen plays jovial Joost, the mountainous Dutchman –think a lumberjack in the off season– who is walking the 800km way to lose a few pounds to fit into the suit he needs to wear for his brother’s wedding. Throughout the film Joost provides good-hearted comic relief and despite his desire to drop weight, he gladly, gleefully partakes of local lamb and fresh goat’s cheese and every simple gastronomical pleasure the road offers him. He’s never portrayed as a glutton, just a bon vivant with an appetite for everything, including food.

The peregrinos (pilgrims) are well over half way through their months-long trek when it’s revealed Joost’s wife doesn’t want to sleep with him because he’s fat.

There is a scene where good-natured Joost looks at himself naked in the mirror as he sits down to a beautiful tray of room service, delivered on the one indulgent day of their journey. Watching him cry in frustration and shame…well, something got in my eye again. I think the mold is going around.

I won’t ruin the end of the film, I know how people on the internet are about spoilers, but I cannot recommend this film enough. Watch the trailer and then see it for yourself.

November 27, 2011

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Snowman Army Edition

Filed under: Twistie's Sunday Caption Madness — Twistie @ 8:30 am

Howdy, everyone! It’s time once again to play Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness.

You all know how this works. I post a picture in painfully desperate need of a funny caption. You provide said captions via the comments function. Next saturday, I’ll declare a winner and we’ll all go play reindeer games together… or not.


This image comes to you from the winter wonderland nightmares file, and it looks a little like this:

Ready… set… snark!

November 26, 2011

Post-Thanksgiving Thoughts

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twistie @ 8:30 am

Another Thanksgiving is over and done with. All that’s left is some tasty leftovers, and maybe a few of the dishes to be done. I’m guessing I’ll still be eating leftover turkey and pumpkin pie for the next couple days… and that suits me just fine.

I spent the day in the company of good people who care about me, appreciate my cooking, and are eager to make me smile. I had more than enough good food, a warm place to rest my head when night fell, and warm critters who wanted to snuggle with me as I drifted off to a thoroughly sated sleep.

All in all, I have a great deal to be thankful for today. Here’s a short (and terribly incomplete) list:


November 25, 2011

Black Friday Hotness: Happy Birthday Xabi Alonso

Filed under: Sports,The Monday Hotness — Miss Plumcake @ 5:09 pm

Hello my little chitterlings, how’s every little thing?

Are you all gorged unto gorgeousness on Thanksgiving splendor? Not I.

I only got back stateside on Tuesday night so all I managed to do was putter around the high-fashion disaster zone that is my house, look online at various appliances and whatnots I’ll have to buy and then haul across the border and proceeded to get so overwhelmed I had to stop everything and watch several episodes of King of the Hill in a row, curled in the fetal position eating cheese grits. You know, just like the pilgrims did.

Thanksgiving always slips by me anyway, but today, TODAY, is a day I shall never forget. Not only is November 25th the birthday of my much-missed grandfather, it also the anniversary of the birth of my beloved Xabi Alonso.

Most people in the US, if they know Xabi at all, know him from the vicious kung fu challenge he received at the foot of Dutch monster, Nigel de Jong, at the 2010 World Cup final.

But I prefer to think of the classiest man in football like this:

okay, actually I prefer to think of him like this:

Dear Santa….

Filed under: Uncategorized — Twistie @ 8:30 am

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I’m still floating on pumpkin pie dreams.

The rest of the world, however, has moved on to Black Friday, and all the holiday bargains therein. Me? I intend to stay in, watch a lot of Criminal Minds, and maybe do some shopping online. You know, just the stuff I’m worried you won’t think of. In fact, here are a few of the goodies that look good to me:

Who couldn’t use a Le Creuset 3.5qt Dutch Oven? Okay, there might be someone who couldn’t, but I certainly could. What’s more, I’m betting I’m not the only one here who would be delighted to have this baby in the kitchen! On top of all that, it’s a great deal at See, the list price is $200.00, but right now it’s on sale at for just 129.99! Mmmm… great cookware that leaves a few bucks in the bank to buy food with? Delicious!

Of course, woman does not live superfantastically by great cookware alone.


November 24, 2011

Have a Happy Thanksgiving

Filed under: Holidays — Miss Plumcake @ 3:43 pm

Or Joan Crawford will cut your giblets out!

November 21, 2011

What I Wore: To Meet Mama

Filed under: Advanced Fashion — Miss Plumcake @ 2:14 pm

Happy Monday y’all!

It’s Día de la Revolución (observed) here in Mexico, and I am fixin’ to beat a hasty retreat back stateside for a limited five week engagement wherein I’ve got to pack all my worldly belongings, sell the Cadillac (insert sad trombone here, but low Caddy + potholes the size of a Benelux nation = heartache) and relocate to Villa Plumcake full time.

I know you all are waiting with bated breath to find out what happened with Hot Latin Boy’s mama.

Well, first of all, I wore heels. A pair of cerulean Dusicas not entirely dissimilar to these:

Then I was incredibly inspired by a picture of autumn leaves (what, you think it’s all archival Dior? Wrong!)  and decided to build my outfit from there.

I plucked out a Spense Woman sheath dress with some origami detail at the neck in a spectacular tomato red, a bit like this one from Avenue:

(sans the terrible shooties and busted fishnets, of course)

Then I added a leaf green shawl to cover up the odious cap sleeves and show Mama I was a respectful girl who wasn’t about to bare arms at our first meeting. I picked mine up from my favorite Oaxacan weaver’s stall (next to the revolutionist coffee shop) but it’s not too different from this, in case you don’t have a Zapotec family handy.

I tied it loosely behind my back to create a sort of soft shrug.

This is admittedly a little tricky because either you (by which I mean “me”) tie it too tight and then you look amazing but have the range of motion of an extremely chic tyrannosaurus rex or it’s too loose and it just flops all over the damn place doing no good for anyone.

Of course I had to bring the Birkin so I tied my lucky orange and red Hermes scarf tied as a sash around my waist for definition and to incorporate the orange of the Birkin into the whole look of the outfit.

I love the right orange and red together and I wonder why people don’t do it more often.

It’s infinitely easier to do than red and pink and looks so much fresher than *yawn* red and black, plus it’s a good gateway color to using red and green together without looking like you’re getting ready to deck the halls.

And as for mama…I’m pretty sure she loved me. She started to cry –not for the first time that day, apparently– and in a remarkable feat of self-control waited easily a minute to a minute and a half to ask me for grandchildren.

Do I regret wearing heels?

Not at all.

I joked with her about how I met her son, and how when I first set eyes on him I felt like I kept growing and growing taller and taller –he is Not Tall– and was afraid he wouldn’t like me because I was this enormous anglo giantess. She laughed, put her hand on her heart and said it doesn’t matter how tall I am, it’s the size of my heart and there are no heels in the world that could change the size of that.

Awww. If she only knew.

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