Black Friday Hotness: Happy Birthday Xabi Alonso

Hello my little chitterlings, how’s every little thing?

Are you all gorged unto gorgeousness on Thanksgiving splendor? Not I.

I only got back stateside on Tuesday night so all I managed to do was putter around the high-fashion disaster zone that is my house, look online at various appliances and whatnots I’ll have to buy and then haul across the border and proceeded to get so overwhelmed I had to stop everything and watch several episodes of King of the Hill in a row, curled in the fetal position eating cheese grits. You know, just like the pilgrims did.

Thanksgiving always slips by me anyway, but today, TODAY, is a day I shall never forget. Not only is November 25th the birthday of my much-missed grandfather, it also the anniversary of the birth of my beloved Xabi Alonso.

Most people in the US, if they know Xabi at all, know him from the vicious kung fu challenge he received at the foot of Dutch monster, Nigel de Jong, at the 2010 World Cup final.

But I prefer to think of the classiest man in football like this:

okay, actually I prefer to think of him like this:

but then I start to feel all uncomfortable because I’m pretty sure that many impure thoughts at once can cause aneurism, or at least wrinkles, so I’d better not risk it.

Oh hell, what’s life without a little risk?

Xabi Alonso shirtless

Maybe a little more risk?

I’m not gonna lie, I’m totally feeling (though sadly in the figurative sense) the chestal rug situation. It’s not like I object to hairless wonders, the Bulgarian athlete I dated last year was smooth as a dolphin and that was just fine by me, but there’s something to be said for a man who is groomed but not hyper-manscaped.

Of course, whenever I talk about Xabi, I have to reveal my embarrassing Xabi story, which goes like this:
One of the first times, possibly THE first time, Hot Latin Boy ever spent the night at Villa Plumcake, we were all cuddled up on the couch being disgusting and in love and whatnot and watching my special Youtube football playlist and he was extolling my virtues as The Best Girlfriend Ever because not only did I LIKE the sport, I went so far as to compile a playlist of my favorite bits.

Which is when, of course, this came on:

Quickly followed by this (whew! safe!)

aaaand finally this, the most disturbing/hot/slightly endearing (in that they’re clearly being told to smoulder as if their lives depended on it) commercial to ever burn its way onto my retinas.

5 Responses to “Black Friday Hotness: Happy Birthday Xabi Alonso”

  1. Kimks November 26, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    May God Bless you for this…

  2. Frankie November 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    Why are soccer players so freaking hot? I live in Arkansas and when I was in college I was in the only 8am history class with near perfect attendance. Why? ‘Cause half of the soccer team was in that class and nobody wanted to miss out on all that international hotness!

  3. Tiff November 27, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    Plumcake, the only way this could make me more thankful is if you did a post on Iker next.

  4. Constance November 28, 2011 at 6:37 pm #

    That third photo? Oh my, I feel faint. Swoon.

  5. Pamici November 29, 2011 at 12:44 am #

    Oh yes! Photo number three is exactly what I need for my perspective study in drawing class! Plummy, you’re a saint.