Oh man please don’t let Eloquii suck.
So remember back in the day when The Limited owned Lane Bryant and for a couple years in the early noughties (yeah I hate calling them that too) when you could walk into Lane Bryant and come out with clothes that lasted more than one season, might’ve had some naturally occurring fibers and weren’t covered with random flaccid ruffles/metallic screenprints/shoddily adhered sequins and sometimes things even had sleeves? Plus you didn’t have to mortgage your house to buy a pair of underwear?
Man, those were heady days my friends.
I’m not saying Lane Bryant doesn’t still occasionally knock it out of the plus-size park, but I have some dear friends –who shall remain nameless since they are under the employ of Charming Shoppes– who straight-out admitted the quality of the average Lane Bryant product has dropped to what one friend calls “Just above Old Navy” while the average price per unit creeps ever higher. Sigh. ‘Twas always thus.
SO this is why I’m super excited about Eloquii, the new and confusingly vowel-heavy plus size line from The Limited.
I haven’t ordered anything from them yet but I am very encouraged to see a thoughtful mix of trend pieces and classics designed for actual adults to wear to their actual jobs and in their actual lives and although you can’t tell right now, I’m typing with all my fingers and toes crossed with the girlish and perhaps naive hope that Eloquii will fill the gap in plus size ready-to-wear between slouching-towards-bargain-bin Lane Bryant and lines like Lafayette 148 New York, which are fantastic but err on the side of prohibitively expensive for most wallets.
From what I’ve seen on the site, I’m pretty excited. True, there isn’t much that rocks my personal casbah at the very moment, and I’m a teensy bit concerned about the skirts being a little short because Lord knows how many plus size designers forget how big girls go OUT –especially in back– before we go down resulting in supposedly knee-length skirts that become festivals of oversharing when worn by a girl with more than the average quantity of junk in her trunk.
Still, I’ve selected a handful of items that might be wending their way to Villa Plumcake sooner rather than later.
I LOVE this striped dress. I would love it more if it hit at the middle or the bottom of the knee because honestly, it would be SO much more chic but still, I LOVE this dress. And would you look at that? SLEEVES.
The great thing about this dress is it will always look fashionable, no matter how old you are. it would be cute on a 16 year old and elegant on a woman of a certain age (although again, would be so much better if it wasn’t above the knee). It’s my favorite item on the site right now and if any of you have experience with it, I’d be very interested in hearing your take.
How about this trench coat? It’s tricky to make a decent trench for a big girl because the traditional cut adds a lot of bulk precisely where you don’t want it and the double breasted look is tough, especially for the chestally blessed. It looks like they took their time with the seaming of this one and although I’ve been burned many times before, this trench –especially in that color– might just be the one that’ll save me from swing coat perdition.
Who asked for a sheath? Someone asked for a sheath. Well, here you go.
It’s a poly/viscose/spandex blend, so while it’s not the preferred lightweight wool suiting, it’s not a ponte knit either. Oh, a word about sheath dresses: you pretty much HAVE to get them tailored, and I say that as a person who (admittedly illogically) resents the hell out of having the alter things having anything altered. Think about it. A sheath is made to fit a sword exactly. That’s how a sheath dress should fit you.
From one basic to another, let’s have a look at these JAG denim trousers which might be of particular interest to the long-legged among us because depending on which copy you read, the inseam is either 32 or 33″. I am having very special feelings about these trousers because they look ear-perkingly similar to my Magical Jeans of Splendor, which I’ve worn into the ground and cannot replace. They’re 66% cotton and 32% something called “Elasterelle”.
I know what you’re thinking: Why would they make jeans out of a 1960’s girl group, and what happened to the other 2 percent? I don’t know, my friends, but I’m interested to know.
The high percentage of Elasterelle, which sounds stretchy, and also like a role Jennifer Hudson would’ve played when she was still fat, makes me a little concerned about the heartbreak of elephant butt, so again, anyone who has experience with these jeans, help a sister out.
Finally, and I would definitely categorize this under Advance Fashion, I am having some affection for this sort of psuedo-Fortuny pleat skirt.
Fortuny pleats are crazy hard to wear when you’re a big girl, but I bet if you’re tall enough with enough presence (you know if you do) you could totally pull this off with an ultra-structured (think German or Belgian designers) all black outfit and look AMAZING.
I’m proud of Eloquii for offering this because it’s a pretty ambitious piece, especially considering the damage the broomstick skirt hath wrought upon our people (Question: Who looks good in a broomstick skirt? Answer: No one, not now, not ever.) and I hope it’s a sign of adventurous things to come.
So that’s what’s churning my butter from Eloquii at the moment. Like I said, if you’ve had experience with them, put it in the comments and let’s all cross our fingers that they’re here to stay.