Happy Friday, gang, how’s tricks?
Today is the hap happiest day of the year, or at least of recent memory because the loud and mysterious construction that’s been going on the past few days somewhere in my general environ has blissfully stopped. Three days straight of BANG…BANG…(silence to lull you into a false sense of relief)…BANG!!! They only stop from 2:00 to 2:45 which is when the local private school gets on their Hendrix-at-Woodstock loudspeaker and calls out random combinations of numbers and colors for a half hour.
They call the numbers in this infuriating monotone that prohibits any insight as to what Yellow 23, Red 16, Yellow 31 etc might actually mean. I’m guessing each combo stands for a student, but WHY? What are they DOING and MUST they sound their barbarically amplified yawp over the rooftop of Villa Plumcake when I’m trying to execute some quality hammock napping? Kids ruin everything fun.
Anyhoodle, as I was puttering around the kitchen making grapefruit marmalade (because apparently I do that now) I saw several stylish women walk past my window, all wearing either split-sleeved or cold-shouldered tops.
Now, my first memory of the cold-shoulder top was a big fuss over Hillary Clinton wearing a Donna Karan dress with the shoulders cut out in 1993 and friends, I have spent the past 40 minutes looking for pictures of that dress and just cannot find anything better than this.
Immediately a surge of shoulderless shirts crashed into the local malls and I believe I either owned one or tried one on and, looking at my 14 year-old self in the mirror went “Nope. This is not for me.”
The cold shoulder is the cousin of the split sleeve and I am sensing a comeback of both.
I can’t say I’m happy about it since it’s been my experience that split sleeves on a woman are Indicative Of Things.
The handful of women I know socially who’ve worn them in the past few years always end up being trouble for me, or at least trouble my soul. One of the offenders failed to wear the appropriate undergarments to her husband’s ordination into the Episcopal Priesthood. I’m STILL traumatized. WTF? Did she get hit on the head with the anvil of sartorial stupidity and wake up thinking she was Unitarian or something? This is the Church of England, put on a damn bra.
And yet, I’m prepared to admit my unpleasant experiences wrt: split sleeves might be stopping me from appreciating what can technically, maybe, be a good look for a big girl. I’m too young to have worn them the last time they really came around, in the 1970’s and I have seen them executed well a few times –mostly in cotton lawn– on a big girl or two, though it’s entirely possible for it to be a fluke.
What’s your opinion on split sleeves? Cold shoulders? Am I missing out or should I trust my considerable gut and let this trend pass me by? Put it in the comments and have a great weekend!