Whisky Tango Foxtrot: The Shbootie of Darkness
Happiest of humpdays, friends and lovers!
First of all, great big globs of appreciation go out to everyone who helped with my query yesterday. I think the easiest plan of action is to bring her a dress that’s very similar to the one I want –albeit with a slightly different neckline– and have her copy that. I’m also up to my ears in fantastic fabrics, so I’m not sure whether to curse or kiss each one of you.
But my love/hate relationship with cotton lawn is not why you’re here. No, you’re coming for the Whisky and staying for the Tango Foxtrot.
I’m not going to lie: If these Sophie Gittins offerings were court shoes instead of peep-toed shbooties I would probably actually like them and, were they on serious sale, I might even add them to the Advanced Fashion Novelty division of the Plumcake Permanent Collection.
Don’t judge me.
But they’re not, so I won’t.
(you’re still judging me, aren’t you?)
What I WILL do is ask you for the situation where these shoes would be the only possible solution to your wardrobe emergency. I’ll be awarding extra points to anyone who includes references to Apocalypse Now or, for my fellow classicists, Heart of Darkness. No “The Horror” though…too easy.
I’m pretty sure the only acceptable situation for these shoes is if I’m stuck on the island in Lord of the Flies and they’ve given up on Piggy and are coming after me, and I need to stab some little pre-pubescent punks with a stiletto.
I was thinking they might work for a hot date with a wookie perhaps?
(& yeah, kinda judging…)
I’d wear these after rising from my Pharoh’s tomb after being awakened from my 1,000 year slumber. Mummy-wrapping shoes go SO well with shiny gold masks and lapis-trimmed dresses, doncha think?
Now that I live around hunters, these might be the only thing to convince me to go hunting. If I can wear these hiding in a blind or in a tree, when we’d be looking for…um…deer? Ducks? Snipe?
Zombie prom
A gallery opening in R’lyeh.
When Oscar the Grouch asks you on a date!
Oooh, those are perfect to go with my “Sexy Ewok” halloween costume!
Aren’t these the shoes The Manolo always brings up when someone asks for a budget option? You know, fashioned out of the broken down crates and soiled burlap potato bags from the dumpster behind your local Hippie-Mart?
This is too WTF Advanced for me. All I can say is that it makes me think of oily cardboard, pot roast stuck in your teeth, and barbed wire all at once.
Dumpster diving in West Hollywood – after the Apocalypse
As far as I’m concerned, TeleriB’s won the thread.
As the piece de resistance of my Mr. Tumnus costume in the drag version of Chronicles of Narnia.
I think they just might add a touch of whimsy that your silver minidress needs when you are running from the Carousel with Micheal York.
These would be perfect to ground my wood nymph dress for my hot date with Aragorn
OK judge me all you want, but I actually like these!! I agree that they would be even better as a court shoe but I would so wear them as they are with this dress http://elizaparker.com/venice-dress/
This is obviously sasquatch formal wear!
The tv werewolf craze has gone too far when even shoes have gotten into it.
What to wear to the family Christmas dinner when you are feeling grinchy.
To go with this stunning bit of Camo formal gown http://www.promgirl.net/jovani-prom-dresses-2011-7830.html
Beautiful!
Pssh, this is obviously created for the Girl Scout who needs to get her Fashionable Camouflage badge, awarded only to those who manage to stalk and bring down an unwitting Boy Scout using both stealth and killer fashion. If said Boy Scout is both afraid of and attracted to her at, she gets a Gold Award as well.
Sorry… I’m judging… So very much.
TeleriB got the Lovecraft reference first, mine was to make Asenath in the musical “Shoggoth on the Roof” wear them the entire time. Oh well. So I’ll go to idea number two.
Sex and the City -Heart of Africa.
The girls get stranded in Congo without luggage and have to make do with what nature provides.
Holding court in the thunderdome…
The ultimate in day-to-evening wear, for those occasions when you must run directly from a jungle firefight to a cocktail soiree with the local dictator.
African Queen post blow-up bash paired with a formal Ghillie suit. http://www.surplusplanet360.com/Ghillie-Suit-Adult-Camouflage-Complete-4pc-Voodoo-Tactical-2-7738.html?gclid=CO2Mq82tjK8CFc-a7QodORgZBA#
I vote for TeleriB as well, but before I saw her comment my answer would have been, of course, Ironic Hipster Chewbacca Costume.
My husband has astutely pointed out that these would be de rigueur for anyone who is both a drag queen and a sniper.
When Birnham Wood hath come to Dunsinane. And invites you to tea with the Macbeths, and the Kardashians.
Formal wear for forest elves.
I would almost bet money that those came from Swamp Thing’s teenage daughter’s closet.
For my sexy bigfoot outfit.
I could see this on a formal day in “Waterworld”, you know the great movie with Kevin Costner, which I think coincided with his absence from Hollywood.
Grab a spear, some feathers and head on down to the ritual head shrinking ceremony (and I don’t mean therapy)! Grass skirt and coconut shell bra optional.
Survivor Barbie!