Whisky Tango Foxtrot: The Shbootie of Darkness

Happiest of humpdays, friends and lovers!

First of all, great big globs of appreciation go out to everyone who helped with my query yesterday.  I think the easiest plan of action is to bring her a dress that’s very similar to the one I want –albeit with a slightly different neckline– and have her copy that. I’m also up to my ears in fantastic fabrics, so I’m not sure whether to curse or kiss each one of you.

But my love/hate relationship with cotton lawn is not why you’re here. No, you’re coming for the Whisky and staying for the Tango Foxtrot.

I’m not going to lie: If these Sophie Gittins offerings were court shoes instead of peep-toed shbooties I would probably actually like them and, were they on serious sale, I might even add them to the Advanced Fashion Novelty division of the Plumcake Permanent Collection.

Don’t judge me.

But they’re not, so I won’t.

(you’re still judging me, aren’t you?)

What I WILL do is ask you for the situation where these shoes would be the only possible solution to your wardrobe emergency. I’ll be awarding extra points to anyone who includes references to Apocalypse Now or, for my fellow classicists, Heart of Darkness. No “The Horror” though…too easy.

34 Responses to “Whisky Tango Foxtrot: The Shbootie of Darkness”

  1. Melissa March 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    I’m pretty sure the only acceptable situation for these shoes is if I’m stuck on the island in Lord of the Flies and they’ve given up on Piggy and are coming after me, and I need to stab some little pre-pubescent punks with a stiletto.

  2. Leah March 28, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

    I was thinking they might work for a hot date with a wookie perhaps?

    (& yeah, kinda judging…)

  3. Molly Ren March 28, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

    I’d wear these after rising from my Pharoh’s tomb after being awakened from my 1,000 year slumber. Mummy-wrapping shoes go SO well with shiny gold masks and lapis-trimmed dresses, doncha think?

  4. Ann March 28, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

    Now that I live around hunters, these might be the only thing to convince me to go hunting. If I can wear these hiding in a blind or in a tree, when we’d be looking for…um…deer? Ducks? Snipe?

  5. Melody March 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    Zombie prom

  6. TeleriB March 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    A gallery opening in R’lyeh.

  7. wildflower March 28, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

    When Oscar the Grouch asks you on a date!

  8. perletwo March 28, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

    Oooh, those are perfect to go with my “Sexy Ewok” halloween costume!

  9. Julie March 28, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    Aren’t these the shoes The Manolo always brings up when someone asks for a budget option? You know, fashioned out of the broken down crates and soiled burlap potato bags from the dumpster behind your local Hippie-Mart?

  10. Rebekka March 28, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    This is too WTF Advanced for me. All I can say is that it makes me think of oily cardboard, pot roast stuck in your teeth, and barbed wire all at once.

  11. Thea March 28, 2012 at 4:05 pm #

    Dumpster diving in West Hollywood – after the Apocalypse

  12. Molly Ren March 28, 2012 at 4:50 pm #

    As far as I’m concerned, TeleriB’s won the thread.

  13. Jen209 March 28, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

    As the piece de resistance of my Mr. Tumnus costume in the drag version of Chronicles of Narnia.

  14. Andrea March 28, 2012 at 4:58 pm #

    I think they just might add a touch of whimsy that your silver minidress needs when you are running from the Carousel with Micheal York.

  15. Klee March 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm #

    These would be perfect to ground my wood nymph dress for my hot date with Aragorn

  16. JosieBellaBirdie March 28, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

    OK judge me all you want, but I actually like these!! I agree that they would be even better as a court shoe but I would so wear them as they are with this dress http://elizaparker.com/venice-dress/

  17. Lora March 28, 2012 at 7:47 pm #

    This is obviously sasquatch formal wear!

  18. Mel March 28, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

    The tv werewolf craze has gone too far when even shoes have gotten into it.

  19. tracy March 28, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

    What to wear to the family Christmas dinner when you are feeling grinchy.

  20. Jessica K March 29, 2012 at 12:51 am #

    To go with this stunning bit of Camo formal gown http://www.promgirl.net/jovani-prom-dresses-2011-7830.html

    Beautiful!

  21. megaera March 29, 2012 at 4:48 am #

    Pssh, this is obviously created for the Girl Scout who needs to get her Fashionable Camouflage badge, awarded only to those who manage to stalk and bring down an unwitting Boy Scout using both stealth and killer fashion. If said Boy Scout is both afraid of and attracted to her at, she gets a Gold Award as well.

  22. Ravna March 29, 2012 at 8:26 am #

    Sorry… I’m judging… So very much.

    TeleriB got the Lovecraft reference first, mine was to make Asenath in the musical “Shoggoth on the Roof” wear them the entire time. Oh well. So I’ll go to idea number two.
    Sex and the City -Heart of Africa.
    The girls get stranded in Congo without luggage and have to make do with what nature provides.

  23. cadpig March 29, 2012 at 9:36 am #

    Holding court in the thunderdome…

  24. saraB March 29, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    The ultimate in day-to-evening wear, for those occasions when you must run directly from a jungle firefight to a cocktail soiree with the local dictator.

  25. Amatyultare March 29, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    I vote for TeleriB as well, but before I saw her comment my answer would have been, of course, Ironic Hipster Chewbacca Costume.

  26. BSAG March 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm #

    My husband has astutely pointed out that these would be de rigueur for anyone who is both a drag queen and a sniper.

  27. Jenny March 29, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

    When Birnham Wood hath come to Dunsinane. And invites you to tea with the Macbeths, and the Kardashians.

  28. emily March 29, 2012 at 9:00 pm #

    Formal wear for forest elves.

  29. Haeiley March 29, 2012 at 9:31 pm #

    I would almost bet money that those came from Swamp Thing’s teenage daughter’s closet.

  30. Lisa from SoCal March 29, 2012 at 11:25 pm #

    For my sexy bigfoot outfit.

  31. Tovah March 29, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    I could see this on a formal day in “Waterworld”, you know the great movie with Kevin Costner, which I think coincided with his absence from Hollywood.

  32. moiraeknittoo March 30, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    Grab a spear, some feathers and head on down to the ritual head shrinking ceremony (and I don’t mean therapy)! Grass skirt and coconut shell bra optional.

  33. dcsurfergirl March 31, 2012 at 9:51 pm #

    Survivor Barbie!