Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

August 6, 2012

Open Forum Monday!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Miss Plumcake @ 2:17 pm

Hey gang, the past few weeks have had be running hither and yon and my posting schedule has suffered for it.

While most of the hithering is over, I’m still yonning a great deal, so to make it up to you, I thought we’d have one of those rare days where you can ask pretty much anything in the comments and I will do my best to answer you.

I get a lot of questions via email and Facebook, and I can’t always answer them all, so now’s your chance. Ask away. Just keep it clean!


  1. Hi! Just started looking at boots for the fall, and I’m hoping you have some wisdom here. I have very wide calves (17”) so I have a hard time finding nice, sturdy, knee-high leather boots. I love equestrian styles and most Frye boot styles, but can’t fit in styles like “Campus”. I’m a snob about quality and comfort (Usually I stick to Born, Keen, etc) and I don’t want much heel. Mostly I will be wearing these with tights and knee-length dresses. Do you have any reccomendations or suggestions?

    Comment by ChatNoire — August 6, 2012 @ 2:36 pm

  2. Belts. I like the idea of belting a cardi or a tunic or a sheath dress. I love the option of an accessory that’s not shoes or a bag. But I think I’m terrible at buying the right size, or maybe even the right width? When belting a dress, if I size it to fit standing it’s too tight sitting, and then the opposite. Are belts to be worn at the waste or hips? I’m short wasted so what are the right and wrong ways to work a belt?

    Please help with belts!! :-)

    Comment by Leah — August 6, 2012 @ 2:46 pm

  3. I second the boot request. I’m always looking for large size, large calf, flat leather boots.

    Comment by Susan — August 6, 2012 @ 2:47 pm

  4. @ChatNoire: Easy! Duo Boots makes custom width boots that are surprisingly affordable. The leather quality is high (I waxed poetic about the quality of their suede) and they offer a wide variety of styles, including equestrian. I particularly like the Florence in black and Amora in tan.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 6, 2012 @ 3:38 pm

  5. @Susan: please see my reply to ChatNoire.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 6, 2012 @ 3:38 pm

  6. @Leah: How committed to belts are you in the first place? When you’re short-waisted finding and implementing a belt can be tricky. Generally you want to stick to skinny belts (an inch is not too thin). I see many people wear their belts too tight, so make sure your belt is loose enough to almost dip down to slightly below your natural waist in the front and sit at the natural waist in the back. The slight dip lengthens the torso and also stops your belt from disappearing under your breasts when you sit. That being said, there are accessories that aren’t shoes or bags or belts either. If you want to add a little pizazz as Saint DVF would say, why not consider a well-placed brooch –I often put them on the waistline or even close to my hem, depending where I want to add emphasis. There are also ways of belting things that aren’t belts. One of my favorite summer outfits is a little chambray sheath dress tied at the waist with a vintage necktie. I use scarves too, just avoid ribbons…they’re a little twee.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 6, 2012 @ 3:49 pm

  7. Brooches!! YES! Thanks for reminding me I love them.

    I’d like to be more committed than I am right now to belts. I think they’re a delightful way to tie an otherwise blah outfit together for the office. I was kind of hoping that I’d just been doing it wrong, but it sounds like my short waist is my problem. Thanks for the tips, at least I won’t waste time trying on wide belts anymore. :-)

    Comment by Leah — August 6, 2012 @ 4:10 pm

  8. I was wondering if you have any advice about building a basic wardrobe.
    I have a closet full of clothes but it often seems like I have nothing to wear and much of it is old/unflattering or not well fitting. I’m on a limited budget, but I think by choosing carefully I can get much more for my fashion buck than I’m getting. What pieces are indispensable?

    Comment by Laura — August 6, 2012 @ 4:17 pm

  9. I don’t particularly care for the sight of my upper arms. I’m short waisted, long legged, moderately blessed in the chest area. I’m a pretty casual dresser, and so many basic t-shirts and blouses are flutter sleeve. cold shoulder, cap sleeve, or really short sleeve. So there are shrugs and cardigans. Any advice on how to pull these off? I always somehow just get it wrong.

    Thanks and cheers!


    Comment by Claire P — August 6, 2012 @ 5:29 pm

  10. I second Laura’s question. I was only half-joking when I commented that all my clothes are black; the major driver being that when you are on a limited budget it’s easier to pick one neutral and build around that (so I bought black shoes, and then all clothes to match). I’d like to branch out and build a wardrobe built around either brown/beige or navy — but I’ll be essentially starting from scratch and don’t have that much $$$ to spend on it.

    Comment by marvel — August 6, 2012 @ 6:02 pm

  11. @Laura: Excellent question. Doing a serious wardrobe on a budget is not as easy as walking into Saks and trotting out with a new starter set. Everyone’s indispensables vary. What is indispensable for my autumns in conservative, chilly Washington D.C., is unthinkable here in breezy, barefoot Baja.

    That being said, if you can muster up a $300 budget and one day a week (Tuesday or Wednesday evenings are a good idea) to hit the discount stores like Ross/Marshall’s/TJ Maxx, you should be well on your way to having a strong core wardrobe if you follow a few guidelines that’ve served me well.

    If it’s not perfect don’t buy it.
    Just don’t. Don’t be afraid to leave a store empty handed. It’s not defeat, it’s a sign of a discerning eye. If it needs work to Work, skip it unless it’s something so minor like it needs hemming and you know you’re going to do it (a good idea is to leave it in your car until you are ready to take it to the tailor).

    If you love it, buy it.
    We’ve all got a story of the one that got away. If it’s a big splurgy item and you can afford it, even if it takes some technical rearranging, buy it. Take it home but leave the tags on. A bit of quick googling can help you see if it’s available for less online. If you can find it for a better price, either print out the offer and bring it to the store –the management will often match the price to keep the sale– or just return it and place your order online, secure in the knowledge you didn’t let your true love pass you by.

    If you can’t wear it three ways, don’t wear it at all.
    Versatility is the key to a solid core wardrobe. A cashmere sweater, for example, works with a pair of jeans for casual running about town while still looking like you weren’t raised in a barn, trade the jeans for a pair of well-tailored trousers and you’re good to go for all but the most formal of business meetings, and pair it with a taffeta, sequined or tulle sort and you’ve got perfect cocktail (short) or evening (long) wear.

    Have that One Perfect Dress
    The OPD looks different for everyone, but it’s the one you can wear when you don’t have anything else to wear anytime of year for almost any situation. Ideally it will have some sort of sleeve (at least elbow length) be machine washable, wrinkle-resistant and hit below the knee. Be willing to spend as much as you can on this one and do your best to avoid trends that could seem dated (puff sleeves etc) because this is the dress that’s going to be in your closet for the next ten years. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I bought my navy and white polka dot dress in 2002 and have worn it close to weekly since.

    Don’t Ever Skimp on Shoes
    Nothing makes a good outfit look bad like cheap shoes.
    That being said, prowl the online sites like YOOX, 6pm, and the Outnet for steals on high quality shoes. If you’re prepared to buy off-season (and you should be) you can get $600+ shoes for $100, easily.

    If the rest of your outfit comes from Ross but your shoes and bag come from Dior, you’re wearing Dior. If your outfit is Dior and your shoes and bags are Payless, you’re wearing Payless.

    The same goes for bags. One way to avoid this is to carry a vintage bag. It’s an elegant opt out that lets you dodge worrying about the IT bag (as you know, I have THE It Bag and the damn thing is too heavy and cavernous to carry most of the time) while still getting your style points. Plus you don’t have to worry about child labor, and if a bag has lasted that long, odds are it’ll last you, too.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 6, 2012 @ 6:07 pm

  12. @Claire P:
    My first advice is don’t buy pieces of clothing that need another piece of clothing to be successful.It’s always better to spend once wisely.
    Lands’ End usually offers a decent selection of good quality elbow-length casual knits. Flutter sleeves, cold shoulders, cap sleeves, etc simply should not be in your wardrobe if you don’t enjoy your upper arms.

    Stop buying them and spend the time you’d normally waste trying to make a shrug work searching for tops that work without assistance. That being said, shrugs are trickier than cardigans to pull off. With a cardi, you just need to worry about material weight and cut. You’ll probably want to get one that’s got a bit of a shrunken look and fasten a button or two just below your natural waistline. Shrugs are a bit trickier. Make sure it’s cut low enough in the back so it doesn’t look like you’ve got Idiot Straps on (you guys know what Idiot Straps are, right? That bit of string terminating in elastic clippies that ran through the sleeves and across the back of your winter coat as a kid so you wouldn’t lose your mittens. At least that’s what my family called them.) You want something with a bit of drape, otherwise it’s going to be Big Girl Little Clothing, and no good comes of that. Neiman Marcus makes great cashmere cardis, and they’re probably on huge sale since no one buys cashmere in the beginning of August.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 6, 2012 @ 6:22 pm

  13. I’m an engineer. For most of my co-workers, their largest fashion statements are:

    1. Button-down dress shirt, polo, or Henley?
    2. Good dress shoes, outdoorsy/steel-toed boots, or sneakers?

    I have no talent for style or fashion, and would be perfectly content to wear a uniform. Maybe with some jewelry, the only accessories I can work worth a damn. But I worry about the need for good self-presentation, the conflicting expectations for women’s appearance in my field (attractive but not too ‘pretty’; female but not too ‘girly’; the usual drill for women in a largely men’s field), and how this all intersects with my short fatness.

    I go ’round and ’round on this, and I guess I’m just looking for permission to buy a bunch of Talbot’s Women’s Petites and go for “boring but professional” instead of stressing myself out over “stylish and interesting.”

    Comment by TeleriB — August 6, 2012 @ 7:21 pm

  14. Any advice for early-pregnancy clothes? Or, for that matter, maternity clothes in general? I have no idea what to wear to work for the next seven months! I’m a medical resident, so work wear is corporate casual + white coat, preferably comfortable and machine washable.

    Comment by Katie — August 6, 2012 @ 8:31 pm

  15. I’ve been making a real effort to be more active. I’ve been aiming for a minimum of 30 minutes three days a week; and I joined a gym again. I’m having a hard time figuring out active clothing. I’m not looking for a fashion show, but a lot of what I can find is pretty badly made and boxy. It makes me look heavier than I am, which really isn’t my goal. And I’m having a tough time finding wicking fabrics in plus sizes. Cotton is great for most things but not ideal for working out. I’ve not been able to find much in the stores, and looking on line has kind of turned into a black whole. And suggestions of where to look?

    Oh, sports bras! I could really use some 40 F suggestions!

    Comment by barbara — August 6, 2012 @ 10:56 pm

  16. @TeleriB: Consider this permission granted. Be stylish and interesting in your accessories and boring but professional in your clothes.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 6, 2012 @ 10:57 pm

  17. Dear Miss Plumcake,
    I’m also interested in Laura and Marvel’s questions, and want to follow up on what you have laid out here. In your (excellent!) previous post on why the navy pinstripe trousers might not be working for one reader, you gently mocked her (and those of us who do it too!) for buying a single piece without being certain that it matches other things she owns. So, do you recommend that one go out and buy whole outfits at a time? I remember the “back to school” shopping trips of Jr. High School days in which a whole season’s outfits were purchased, but grew to dislike the matchy-matchy aesthetic. The only other thing that occurs to me is: do you suggest we take along that green sweater we are trying to match, or bring the navy trousers in a bag to check color compatibility? Seems cumbersome, so perhaps shopping by complete outfit is better after all? In short, I’d love to hear your (further) thoughts on how to shop to build upon what you already have.

    Comment by OS — August 7, 2012 @ 4:06 am

  18. I have a fairly urgent foundation garments question. I’m a size 24, wearing this gown for my wedding in September:

    I consider it fairly magical, since I am a very top-heavy, waist-wide apple shape, and this corset dress actually gives me a waist!

    The problem came with my first fitting yesterday…I wore a great long-line bra that hoists up my 44G’s quite magnificently…it’s a marvel of anti-gravity science. Unfortunately, when I combined that with the cinching power of the corset dress, all of a sudden it seemed like someone had squeezed me like a toothpaste tube and all of my flesh came spilling out of the top of the dress, so I no longer had a neck. And instead of lovely cleavage in front, it was all upper chest and neck bulk which I don’t normally have.

    To try to solve this, the seamstress just suggested that I get rid of the longline bra altogether and let the corset do its work on its own. We pulled the bra out, and hooray! I still had a waist, and I was no longer being suffocated by flesh around my neck and upper chest. And it looked like the Rack of Doom was being well supported. We went on with the appointment as she pinned the hem of the dress, and all was well until I stepped off the riser and tipped forward slightly. THUNK. My boobs dropped about a foot. They didn’t come out of the dress, but they folded downward precipitously.

    Any suggestions for what I could try that would provide lots of support for the Rack without squeezing everything from my hips northward out the top of the dress? The bridal shop’s seamstress seemed stumped, which surprised me b/c they specialize in larger sizes!

    Comment by Maura — August 7, 2012 @ 9:47 am

  19. I love all these questions.

    I have actually emailed you wise and wonderful ladies a query but am happy to ask it here too, for double exposure, as it were.

    I am looking for sleepwear with boob support. I can’t believe I’m the only one, but I cannot for the life of me find anything online, even less in physical shops.

    – Natural fibres
    – No juvenile prints
    – Sleeves preferrable
    – Available for international shipping (to Europe).

    If you could find me something, I’d be SO grateful. Thanks!

    Comment by Ida — August 7, 2012 @ 10:35 am

  20. @OS: If you truly are starting from the ground up, do your best to buy at least three pieces at once as your absolute core (this is typically either pant/top/top or top/pant/skirt) and then build from there piece by piece. That is not to say those all should be matchy, matchy is the same as tacky, but it does mean they should complement each other so you can wear them together. Ideally nothing in your core wardrobe is that challenging to coordinate, so just spend a minute truly looking at your clothes and getting to know them. Is your pencil skirt warm gray (with more red in it) or cool gray (closer to blue)? If it’s warm, just buy warm colors. That doesn’t mean you’re going to be stuck wearing reds, oranges and yellows. There are cool and warm shades of every color.

    If I’m styling a client, I’ll often have her wear the piece she’s struggling with just for the sake of ease, if that doesn’t work, I’ve been known to hit the home stores and get a paint chip that closely matches my difficult item and using that as a swatch. True, taking a piece of clothing with you is a bit cumbersome, so weigh it against the cumbersomeness of having to return it if it doesn’t work. In time you’ll know your core pieces well enough to do it by memory.

    In Short:
    –Not everything has to go with everything else in your closet, but everything does have to go with at least two, ideally three or more, pieces.

    –Be able to describe your clothes in your head A “green sweater” is hard to match when not on hand. A tissue-weight warm olive cashmere cardi, is not.

    –Don’t be afraid to return things

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 7, 2012 @ 1:57 pm

  21. @Maura: First let me commend you on your wisdom to avoid the Platter o’ Boobs effect, especially at your own wedding. It restores faith in humanity.

    I’m not sure exactly what you mean by tipping forward and your breasts dropping a foot. Is there enough space in the gown for that? If so, Madame Seamstress is not doing her job. A few ideas pop to mind.

    1) Just employ a plain old strapless bra, not long line. Check out Figleaves or your favorite bra purveyor for something that will hold you, but not hoist you.

    2) The seamstress could build up the cups of the sweetheart neckline. A Higher rise in front would mean more support without sacrificing style. It’s fiddly but it can be done (I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t willing to do it, though).

    3) Duct tape. I hear they make a very nice bridal white

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 7, 2012 @ 2:08 pm

  22. P.S. As follow-up to building a new wardrobe and color-matching: I bought a pair of grey suede wedge boots on SERIOUS sale last year and I love them. I figured grey would go with all the black plus enable some branching out. (e.g. navy).

    I read that grey could go with brown neutrals. True or false? (assuming both cool).

    Comment by marvel — August 7, 2012 @ 2:17 pm

  23. @Ida: I got your message and oh man, am I stumped. My extremely racky bff just sleeps in a stretch cotton cami. That being said, I thought about who else might need some breast support while sleeping and it dawned on me: nursing mothers.

    So I did some googling and although the pickings were slim, I did manage to find this from Motherwear. Although it doesn’t have a built in bra per se, the gathered band at the bottom and full cups might give you the support you need, plus it’s cotton, solid color and available for international shipping. Sorry about the sleeves.

    A cheat, which you’ve probably already thought about is a sleep bra. This sleep bra is cotton with covered elastic and provides gentle support.

    An insufficient answer I know, so let me open it to the readers. Gang, can you help our European friend find some supportive sleepwear in natural fibers?

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 7, 2012 @ 2:33 pm

  24. @Barbara: I feel your pain. When I started working out regularly, it took me ages to find an outfit that would do the wik trick but also rose to Plumcake levels of fabulousness. Usually I wore leggings plus a workout skirt or shorts, and a soccer jersey. Though I’d been known to use a regular sportsbra or support cami and toss on a cute cotton top.

    Junonia’s QuickWik would be a good place to start, also Athleta has a few offerings in their “special sizes” these yoga pants are nice and made of wicking material. Just promise me you won’t wear them outside the gym. The Zella Tee is nicely cut and flattering, while Always for Me offers some serious active wear.

    There’s also nothing saying you can’t shop in the men’s department. I did all the time and looked sweaty but adorable in my little jerseys and athletic tops, nor is there any law forbidding having gym clothes altered. Think about it: If you’re working out 90 minutes a week, by the time a full year rolls around you’ll have spent almost 80 hours in those clothes. That makes them worth altering.

    I used to wear the workout basics and then add a cute shirt (I’d take the scissors to them sometimes for an off-the-shoulder look, if your personality supports that, why not?). Alight has some colorful options. Just don’t be hampered by getting something off the rack in the women’s department. Branch out, and good for you for treating your heart right!

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 7, 2012 @ 2:56 pm

  25. @Marvel: True. I don’t know where people get the idea they can’t mix some neutrals. The key is to make sure the temperature is right, and the two neutrals are different enough to look like it’s done on purpose, and since you WILL be doing it on purpose, obviously you’ll make sure they’re different.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 7, 2012 @ 3:04 pm

  26. 1. Whatever happened to Francesca?

    2. You hate khakis, I think. But sometimes a pair of wide-leg, camel-colored khakis can be chic, no? Please advise!

    3. I prefer skirts and dresses over pants, but a girl really ought to have some in the closet. I adore skinny jeans, I don’t care what anyone says; what other pants are a must have in the fashionable big girl’s closet.

    Thank you, Miss Plumcake! I truly adore you.

    Comment by Ambrosia Jones — August 7, 2012 @ 4:05 pm

  27. Thanks! I like you.

    I may have to start my own business to cater for the boobtacular among us… I think I’ve found a gap in the market. I’m not the boobiest person ever, but am mainly looking for smoothing, especially for schlepping and breakfasting purposes (that’s reasonable – right?!?) :-)

    Comment by Ida — August 7, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

  28. @Ambrosia Jones:
    1. Whatever happened to Francesca?
    There was a staff reorganization about two and a half years ago. I don’t know what happened to the person who wrote the Francesca character (unlike your pal Plummy who is more or the less the same on the page as in person, Francesca was an almost entirely fictional character) but I hope she’s doing well.

    2. You hate khakis, I think. But sometimes a pair of wide-leg, camel-colored khakis can be chic, no? Please advise!
    I don’t hate khakis, they’re just not for me. Aside from not wearing anything that’s dirt-colored on purpose (that’s what the word khaki means) I just don’t wear light-weight cotton twill because I don’t like the way it drapes. There’s nothing saying they can’t be chic, just use them with purpose, not as a fashion “free space”.

    3. I prefer skirts and dresses over pants, but a girl really ought to have some in the closet. I adore skinny jeans, I don’t care what anyone says; what other pants are a must have in the fashionable big girl’s closet.

    It depends on the body shape. Allowing for personal tastes and lifestyle variations, I’d say a good pair of dark denim trousers, a pair of wide-leg linen pants and something business-appropriate in a suiting-weight material (light lined wool would be ideal) that has a wide enough leg to be flattering, but not fashiony.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 7, 2012 @ 6:29 pm

  29. And that’s why Naval officers still have khaki uniforms! It comes from the British Navy, when they were in India. To better blend in, and because, well, the whites were going to get ruined anyways, the officers would either put dirt or do a coffee based stain on their white uniforms-taking them from all white to all dirt, or khaki.

    Comment by Genevieve — August 7, 2012 @ 7:23 pm

  30. Thanks so much for the linkage! I just ordered the Zella top; it’s exactly what I was looking for. And so nice to find several places to look! I knew about but the others are new to me. Very helpful!

    Comment by barbara — August 7, 2012 @ 9:15 pm

  31. Thanks so much for the linkage! I just ordered the Zella top; it’s exactly what I was looking for. And so nice to find several places to look! I knew about but the others are new to me. Very helpful!

    Comment by barbara — August 7, 2012 @ 9:15 pm

  32. @Ida: My solution for rack-supportive sleepwear is to wear a tank top or cami with a built-in shelf bra under my pjs. Of course, my sleepwear tends to be casual – drawstring pants or shorts with a tank top or t-shirt – so if you prefer fancier pajamas, your mileage may vary.

    Comment by Cat — August 7, 2012 @ 9:30 pm

  33. @Katie, while waiting for Miss Plumcake’s Pearls of Fashion Wisdom, I will share my thoughts based on having been in your shoes (or Danskin clogs, as the case may be.) 1) Search out friends/relatives who have recently had babies. Most women keep 2-3 bins of maternity clothes in storage for a year or two after delivering and there are great orgies of loaning between friends. You usually don’t have to ask, just announce you’re expecting and women are suddenly bringing you bags of clothing. It’s weird. Just label anything loaned to you so you can get it back to the right people, and be generous when you are on the other side. 2) Search out resale shops for baby/maternity clothes. You can save a lot. 3) Check out websites like that offer “flash” sales of baby/maternity items. 4) I survived my first pregnancy during training with 4 pairs of slacks (mostly black, I think one grey), a few tank tops, 4-5 short-sleeved tops and 3 sweaters. Basically, follow Miss Plumcake’s advice for building a new wardrobe from scratch only in maternity. Also, compression stockings will be invaluable in later months. Order online.

    Comment by marvel — August 7, 2012 @ 10:34 pm

  34. Could you suggest some bridal wear for my niece, a size 16 petite (160cm) with not much in the way of boobs. She wants three quarter length sleeves to cover her arms, a full skirt plus needs to appear a lot taller to match up to her 190cm fiancee. Could you also suggest appropriate bridal shoes in wider widths – she will be doing a fair bit of walking and dancing but still needs to add height. Thanks!

    Comment by retna — August 8, 2012 @ 1:56 am

  35. Thanks ladies.

    Are we still doing the open house? Another thing I am always on the hunt for is the elusive perfect white shirt. All cotton, crisp, classic collar, long sleeve. US 18 or 20. The Gap may have some but the don’t ship all their wares outside the US for some reason. HILFE bitte!

    Comment by Ida — August 8, 2012 @ 3:58 am

  36. Short apple here – I’m tentatively happy with this,in a 20W, from Land’s End:

    but haven’t washed it yet to see how the crispness stands up.

    Most Oxfords I’ve been able to find have darts but no princess seaming, and/or aren’t petite, so they end up being huge and boxy on me. (To fit the bust and belly, I buy things with shoulders much too wide.) These have some darts although not my beloved princess seams, and I don’t feel like I’m swimming in fabric. Still a *little* boxy on me, but I’ve been looking for a good Oxford for literally years and this is the closest thing I’ve found (for me).

    Comment by TeleriB — August 8, 2012 @ 10:41 am

  37. Thanks TeleriB! Very promising!

    Comment by Ida — August 8, 2012 @ 11:03 am

  38. Alas, they charge through the nose for the shipping. It’s almost as much as the garments…The quest goes on.

    Comment by Ida — August 8, 2012 @ 5:28 pm

  39. I have several of those Lands End shirts and they’ve worn quite well. Eventually the no-iron quality washes out (after like weekly wearing for a year), but the collars and cuffs have stayed pretty crisp. They do frequently have free-shipping deals if you sign up for their email newsletter. Also check eBay for NWT Lands End shirts – seems a lot of people stock up when they have their overstock sales and resell on eBay.

    Comment by Jezebella — August 8, 2012 @ 7:22 pm

  40. What would you do If you have a limited budget for shoes (under $150) and needed dress pumps? Yeah, shoes are an afterthought (wide feet + narrow heel + high instep = shopping hell) but i am trying. Any words of wisdom are OK with me. (For what it’s worth, I generally don’t skimp on accessories or lingerie (especially bras).

    Comment by dcsurfergirl — August 8, 2012 @ 9:30 pm

  41. @DCsurfergirl: Well, obviously I’m going to tell you not to have shoes be an afterthought. Your shoes are going to be around for a long time and nothing makes an expensive outfit look cheap. You know the drill. Have you read my post Thousand Dollar Shoes on a Hundred Dollar Budget? Check it out and go from there. If you can only swing ONE pair of shoes, try to get a nude (as in, roughly the same color of your skin, whatever that may be) mid heel, say around 3 inches, with a covered, not stacked heel. A stacked heel isn’t the end of the world, but takes you down a notch in formality. Brands to look for: Delman, Ferragamo and Stuart Wietzman. They either naturally run wide or offer wide widths. The Delman Vivi is a good option, stacked heel notwithstanding and on crazy sale. As for narrow heels, get the plain old gray utilitarian heel grips at your local drugstore. They’re not pretty, but they work better than all the clear gel thingies.

    Comment by Miss Plumcake — August 8, 2012 @ 10:12 pm

  42. Thanks for the help!

    Comment by dcsurfergirl — August 10, 2012 @ 12:17 am

  43. This is for anyone looking for boob support in nightwear, a UK shop called Bravissimo does cotton jersey mix camis and nightdresses with built in soft, shelf bras. They specialize in large boob sizes (I’m an F to G in their styles). Not a huge selection, but something to get started with and they are European. You could try wearing a sports bra in a size or two larger than you need to sleep in – I have a friend who does this comfortably.

    Comment by Shoepoet — August 10, 2012 @ 1:18 pm

  44. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

    Comment by regenerative thermal oxidizer — August 31, 2012 @ 11:29 am

  45. You…are…my…hero!!! I cant believe something like this exists on the internet! Its so true, so honest, and more than that you dont sound like an idiot! Finally, someone who knows how to talk about a subject without sounding like a kid who didnt get that bike he wanted for Christmas.

    Comment by driver education CA — August 31, 2012 @ 4:14 pm

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